Carradale

[Windy Miller]

You still coming up at Easter, TB? Looking forward to seeing the new wessel.

[White Van Man]

whats this aboot grants from the arts council?
how do i go aboot applyin and whit dae a need to do?
ploo roon in circles maybe?
turnip carving?
sounds just up my street, c'mon spill the beans, here wid that work?

Aye seein' some o'the guff that gets grant money I'd say you're onta a winner there Morenish.

Plant crop circles on the golf course.

Turnip heads carved wi'a chainsaw.

If that Hirst fella can make a fortune from putting a lamb in a tank o' fomaldehyde just imagine what you'd frae haf a bullock!

[Bochan Mor]

no wunner it was quiet the bochan was away on wan o his trips, never heard if he made it back even, maybe he got jailed for takin photys o planes or somthin because theres no boats left?

,,,,,,,,

right beachsprachler whats this aboot grants from the arts council?
how do i go aboot applyin and whit dae a need to do?
ploo roon in circles maybe?
turnip carving?
sounds just up my street, c'mon spill the beans, ........

Snoddy, Snoddy, Snoddy. I take back everything that I said about you during our last consultation. You'll need to come round here and help me. The nightmares have returned again. There I was steaming home down the Kilbrannan Sound in the dark one night wae the North Star in my rear view mirror. I pass Brackley wae naw a care in the world and round the buoy at the Glen and ease her round to port past the manse then a touch to Starboard as I throw the fenders over the side on the homeward strait. Damn me, the next thing I know, I have come red to red with another vessel at the sawmill-hump, one that wasnae showing on my radar.

No, it canna be!

Morenish hanging a fathom out of the Silver Lining's old wheelhouse and Mrs Morenish coming out of the illuminated focsle hatch to hand him a hell of a bowl of sheepshead broth and a ladel through the window. He never got to the stature he's at these days eating lettuce and grass, that's for sure.

'What the heck is he doing in with the adders?' I asked myself.

Surely it canna be right!

A man at the helm of a Carradale boat wearing a bib and brace hasn't been seen since Bungalow handed in his dinner plate (Pot Lid) to the owner of the Boy David.

Pot lids are a devil without the handles because the gravy runs through the rivet holes. With the handles is equally bothersome as they are too hot to handle and absolutely hellish to balance, resulting in you spilling the beans........

So Morenish, be sure that you don't spill the beans.....

[Hadrians hiring!]

This thread now has more pages, words, and pictures tan any book that has been resident in trumpton

[Right Pongal]

Snoddy, Snoddy, Snoddy. I take back everything that I said about you during our last consultation. You'll need to come round here and help me. .........

Morenish hanging a fathom out of the Silver Lining's old wheelhouse and Mrs Morenish coming out of the illuminated focsle hatch to hand him a hell of a bowl of sheepshead broth and a ladel through the window. He never got to the stature he's at these days eating lettuce and grass, that's for sure.

'What the heck is he doing in with the adders?' I asked myself.

............
Pot lids are a devil without the handles because the gravy runs through the rivet holes. With the handles is equally bothersome as they are too hot to handle and absolutely hellish to balance, resulting in you spilling the beans........

So Morenish, be sure that you don't spill the beans.....

For goodness sake Bochan Mor, pull yourself together and get straight over to that surgery. It sounds to me that you have sunstroke or one of thon egtopic diseases that affect wummin that have been out in the sun. You werena bitten by anything droll of late?

Morenish at the wheel of a fishing boat indeed. No wonder the fishing's in the state it's in. I doubt the beggar's even got a licence.

But I'll tell you though, there's been a lot of deng droll things happening in the village over the weekend. There was a crowd of highly skilled tradesmen working over at thon heritage centre, ripping down ceilings and installing 'substantial support joists', or so they're saying.

BT were furtively working at the exchange and various locations yesterday morning and Mrs Pongal heard in the bakers shop that an internet cafe was being established over on the West Side of the village with this topic as the home page. Somebody commented that they thought it was Morenish and it would be equipped with the latest broadband.

Well, one auld rascal at the monument acidically commented that the biggest broadband in the village was carved from the hide of a coo to keep the cafe man's breeches from dropping to his knees. I said to Mrs Pongal: 'Is that not why he wears Colin Effie's bib and brace?'.....

There was high jinx at the pier shop this moring when a flyer fell from a paper with instructions on 'how to recycle a goat'. Did any of you see it?

Well, all the boys from the Buffallo Lodge were fighting over it....... Among them be it!

[The_Carradale_Goat]

There was high jinx at the pier shop this moring when a flyer fell from a paper with instructions on 'how to recycle a goat'. Did any of you see it?

Rest assured, I'll be keeping a low profile when next the Waste Watchers Wagon is coming through the Dale.

It's not as if there's anything wrong with my present bicycle anyway...

[Ticketty Boo!]

Unfortunately I won't be along to Trumpton at Easter. I've been lured away by the prospect of a plague of 200lb skate in the Sound of Mull. We're their at the fair fortnight though. What's the going rate for pleasure trips around the bay at 45 knots?

[Beachcomber]

What's the going rate for pleasure trips around the bay at 45 knots?

About three barf-bags to the mile, I'd guess

[Sanyanya]

Snoddy, Snoddy, Snoddy. ..........

Morenish hanging a fathom out of the Silver Lining's old wheelhouse and Mrs Morenish coming out of the illuminated focsle hatch to hand him a hell of a bowl of sheepshead broth and a ladel through the window. He never got to the stature he's at these days eating lettuce and grass, that's for sure.

'What the heck is he doing in with the adders?' I asked myself.

.................................

So Morenish, be sure that you don't spill the beans.....

Mr Bochan,

Please note that my new business partners and myself are gainfully employed in establishing a Cordon Bleu standard eating establishment in the village and as such, do not have time to joust with the likes of you on this god-forsaken dessert.

Please do not expect sheepshead broth and larks tongues in aspic to grace the tables of this fine eatery. No sir, smoked venison with pheasant pate and conserve of hand picked brambles will be the order of the day, served with a selection of delicately seasoned home grown vegetables and Tormor truffles.

Mr Morenish is currently honing his skills with his newly acquired, grant assisted, truffle hunting swine and I have surrendered my precious daylight hours to intensive training in hygienic preparation of foodstuffs. Mrs Morenish is overseeing both the potato peeling skills of both her good husband and myself and is currently working on a combination code for the food safe that has been installed in the larder.

Not to be outdone, Mr Morenish has fitted an array of close circuit cameras, so try as she may, she always returns to an empty refrigerator. Anyway, with many of the eateries in the town falling well short of the prescribed mark, we feel that we are well placed to exploit this gap in the market.

Please note: Tables will be available on a first come first served basis. Please feel free to bring your own fine wine to compliment your meal and hosts.

Be there or be square!

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Sanyanya,

I was hearing that you were getting a leg up in life. Word has it that your Lord & Master has managed to secure an art council grant to build twin decagonal living structures on the site of your former residence at the rear of his croft. Yes dear boy, the men from the Tait gallery were seen in the garden examining the specially commissioned doors that will form the basis of the dual living pods.

You'll need to be hell of a careful though that you don't take a right sleever and go for the wrong pod, never mind the wrong door. Apparently the hotel have signed a contract to share some of their eastern block workforce in return for use of your firms new staff quarters.

The new abode will not just metaphorically have more faces than the town clock, but will cost a fortune in Varnish to maintain.

Which door will be deemed to be the rear entrance and which one will you leave the milk bottles at? Is there any truth in the rumour that Morenish has tried to register companies with 20 different addresses (A-T)? Just you watch though, with 20 letter boxes you could easily be swamped with a combined deluge of junk mail and invoices.

How is he getting on with training thon swine? I'm looking forward to a taste of those truffles....

[Snoddy]

Time Gentlemen Please,

NB: Neither of you is anywhere close to being sufficiently qualified to insert a catheter into any of my patients with the sole intention of evacuating the non-void spaces of their renal waste reservoirs. Chantie wrestlers abound perhaps, but multi-disciplined physicians, I think not!

May I suggest that you continue to focus your short term attention spans on extreme skate dancing and pheasant plucking. I am quite sure that Mr Morenish's rehabilitation & reintegration programme are of no interest or business to the common forum members.

PS. TB may also be interested in Skate dancing. Why else would he covet those with one dancing on the end of a rod?

[Right Pongal]

Easy now boys.... They're saying Morenish is on a roll wae his chain saw, so dinnae overstep the mark. It might take a bit of gentle persuasion to get the big fella to his feet, but by jove, once he starts moving, he has more momentum than the average rolling stone.

I was wondering if everyone had gone off on their Easter Holidays, as the village and the forum were very quiet. It turns out that there was a wheen of birthday parties wae Trumpton connections in the toon over the weekend for young and old alike (Not that the old fella looks that old if you disregard the grey locks).

Well I hope that they all behaved themselves and didn't bring the good name of the village into disrepute. Hopefully they kept it all Pongal and didn't act the goat!!!!

[Whips & Jingles]

Hi guys, walked into a stag party or something last weekend, but seemed a little subdued.

What is this about our friend Morenish? Does this mean an end to his career in the fields?

[yosser]

Hi guys, walked into a stag party or something last weekend, but seemed a little subdued.

That'll have been after news broke that the strippers had cancelled at the last minute.

[Bochan Mor]

Hi guys, walked into a stag party or something last weekend, but seemed a little subdued.

What is this about our friend Morenish? Does this mean an end to his career in the fields?

That's right Mr Whippy. Mrs Morenish is now employing him as a lavatory attendant over at the other side of the village. Morenish thought that this was OK, as it wouldn't impinge to much on his 'Quality time' in front of his PC.

He thought that he could swirl the brush once round the pan and head back to the side of the log burner.

Big mistake.... Mrs Morenish caught him by the lug and marched him straight back in and told him that he was going to have to stand there for the entire duration of the working day.

'What about my tractor magazine, I need to get down to the quay before they shut for the day?' he was heard shouting. Mrs Morenish rounded on him immediately and said: 'Get in there and stay in there. You're now an ex-tractor fan!'

That'll have been after news broke that the strippers had cancelled at the last minute.

Strippers in the village bedamned. That hasn't happened since the last party in Toytown! You'd better not let old Pongal know!