Carradale

[Govangirl]

Ach, weel done tae that Tickettyboo wan fur wakening aw ye wee sowels up frae yer lang hibernation!

[SARID]

Yir deed right,GG ! We have wakened up frum hibernation,an wir on the warpath!!

[SARID]

I followed your example last night, Chuckiebay,and sent a complaint to the Forestry Commision about the picnic area at Kirnashie wrongly called "Grianan ".
This afternoon I received a reply from Barry Bruce, the beat forester in Kintyre for the past 14 years. He said I was the first to complain in all that time. (did ye mind tae press the "submit " button, Chuckie ,as it dusna look as though yir complaint reached Barry ?) He said he was aware of the misnomer,but there was a problem in the short term,as all leaflets were printed with the current name. He went on to say that, when the time came to reprint the leaflets,the misnomer could be corrected,as it was important to have accurate naming of sites.
I did note he was still spelling "Grianan " wrongly,and he went on to say that "The Shore Walk " was renamed "Kirnashie Walk " to compensate for the wrongly named picnic area.

[Ticketty Boo!]

And another full month goes past without a single post - is this truly the end of what was once a great thread?

[LANDROVER ROGER]

And another full month goes past without a single post - is this truly the end of what was once a great thread?

Sincerely hope not.I find references to The Bochan fascinating.Any news?

[Govangirl]

Ah've goat a sneaking wee ill dreid thit therr aw plottin' up thay wids aboot the Scoatish Restaurant ah sujjestit an' keepin' ma guid sel oot o' the saicret collogue.
It's awricht for the liks o' MPR that disna ken ony better an' is nae doot gettin' trained by the Bochan cohort in the ins an' oots o' Front o Hoose but therr ur ithers thit will ferr gie me the boak if therr's ony cairy-oan aboot wha it wus thit planked the thocht o' it in therr heids in the furst place!!!!

[SARID]

Don't you worry, GG! Am keepin my beady eye on the wans yir worrin about,by keepin a close waatch from the wee hoose,an haav an all roond vision o'all the comin an goings.It wis yir idea in the first place, an Al make sure yir involved in all decision makin. It's a wild sarach that yir destined tae earn yir livin south o'the border. On the ither hand look at the good Livingstone an his lakes did in Africa, so am sure yir risin tae the challenge daily in dealing wae the Southerners.
I digress !! Whit's the new Restaurant tae be called ? Anyin got bright ideas ??

[Govangirl]

Weel, that's pit ma mind at rest rich enough - ah jist knew ah kid rely oan yir guid sel Sarid tae keep me in the picture so ah could. An ah'm sae blythe thit ye ken ma missionary work doon sooth here wi' the Inglis - ye cannae imagine how hard it is tae dae onything wi' the weans here!
Ah wis steeping the gey idea in ma heid aboot huvin' a Weans' Adventure Park in the wids alang the idea o' a wan o' thay Theme Parks? Ah reckon Disney disnae want tae set up shoap in Kintyre so we kid huv wan as a wee add-oan tae oor restaurant. It wid be ferr muckle fur the maws an' das tae sit in peace eating the delights we huv in store fur them oan oor menu but also fur the bairns no huvin' tae haud therr wheesht aw the time. They kid go intae aw the attractions - The Bochan Mountain, The 3D Carradale Experience, It's a Wee Toon Wurld, Bitter End's Wildest Ride o' a Lifetime, Emdee's Fiddling Boat Ride - jings, the list is endless.
Sae is therr a big enough bit o' land in Carradale ye huv in mind that kid cover sic a whappin' project then?

[Bitter End]

"On the ither hand look at the good Livingstone an his lakes did in Africa" Hoot wey ?
" Bitter End's Wildest Ride o' a Lifetime, " This is hell o a personal an me a merrit man wi weans !
hoot aboot ma Arran Pilots ? efter the wild wild night the bliddy shaws are flet , an wi the drooth an thim bein the size
o merbles wi an an occasional gowf baw --hoo am Ah gonnie survive ? Ah'm gonnie hiv tae eat the gress until they swell
up an thets only IF Ah kin git the shaws staunin again ! Ah'm nae talkin aboot resteraunts Ah'm talking aboot home feedin !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ach Ah'm awa oot in the punt wi a haun line fur some flets .

[SARID]

Now Now GG, dinna git cerried away wi all sort o'notions aboot theme perks etc The thing we haav tae keep right in the forefront o'oor minds is the sofisticashun o' the Carradll folk,enjoyin life in an upmarket village, an they'll naw tolerate anything wild an tacky.
Ah think doon "The Point " wid jeest be the right situation fur the restaurant, but the snag wid be gettin the plannin permission,but maybe wae a word in the right ear !!! Even if a "Theme Perk " wis allowed, it's only the Purtree folk who wid be plaagued wi the music,an the flasssssshin lights.A'd be fine up Airds Wid,an am a wee bit hard o'hearin anyway.
A've jeest had a wee walk doon the Quay brae an there's a fellow oot in a punt . He's either off his heed or desparate, tae be oot in these conditions. Ah think it's maybe Bitter End oot doing his best tae feed the weans------ they cood well be "Faitherless Bairns " before the nights oot.
Whit aboot the name o' the eaterie ?
Haav ye noticed,. Emdee his yit tae come forward tae offer his musical services. Maybe we canna afford him Ah wis visulisin him seranadin folk, an playin requests as he wandered among the tables.

[EMDEE]

Haav ye noticed,. Emdee his yit tae come forward tae offer his musical services. Maybe we canna afford him Ah wis visulisin him seranadin folk, an playin requests as he wandered among the tables.

Ah've jeest been watchin' whoot arrangements are bein' made here tae see if ah want tae get involved in this venture. Here's whoot ah wid suggest:

As lang as it wisna rennin' ah could play jeest ootside the dawr tae attract the folk in. Tae ease the financial burden on the establishment ah could pit the kilt on an' lay my balmoral oot in front o' me tae entice the veesitors tae fill it up wae wee contributions. Mind you though, it wid be jeest the foldin' stuff ah wid be lookin' for fae them. Ah've got a femily an' a doag an' a cat an' two cockatiels tae be thinkin' aboot.

Wan stipyulashin' ah wid make is that ah wid only play "The Hen's Mairch ower the Midden" wance each day. We could advertise whoot time o' day this wid be done an' it wid be a big draw. The kitchen an' waitin' staff wid be rushed off their feet when this heppened. My "Hen's Mairch ower the Midden" is noted far an' wide an' as far as ah can mind ah've only played it wance in Carradale afore, an' that wis in nineteen seeventy seeven. We could even use it tae boost the sales o' the cock-a-leekie soup!

Another thing that wid need tae be done is that if there was any Laphroaig in the bar it wid need tae be kept in a tantalus, for ah might be helpin' mesel' in between tunes an' it winna help my performance. Ye winna be wantin tae have tae sen' for Snoddy tae come an' soart me oot if ah got too much. It wid only be for me ain good, an if ah coodna get at it, all ah wid haive wid be the wee drap Springbank 1997 in my sporran flask.

Ah could even take the pipes wae me an' start playin' them when ye wanted tae clear the place at the end o' the night efter the bar wis closed. Ah could pit the balmoral doon again an' the folk might gie me mair o' the foldin' stuff tae stop me fae playin'.

Aye, it could be a good wee earner.

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Priceless!

[SARID]

Efter reedin yir proposals an terms o' employmint,Emdee,Ah think wae one or two wee reservations, Ah fur wan, am ready tae say "Welcome Aboard " Hooiver, we'll haav tae haav an extraordinery committee meetin, before a final decision is made.Ah dono if Am ower keen on Yir idea o'playin outside the front door,wi yir bunnet on the grind, it pits me in mind o'the tinkers playin at the top o' "The Rest "
Any sign o' Bitter End last sighted settin oot in his punt in a gale o' win. It wid be a wild sarach if his wife and weans ended up "on the Parish " Is there still a poorhoose in Cameltin ?

[Govangirl]

My "Hen's Mairch ower the Midden" is noted far an' wide an' as far as ah can mind ah've only played it wance in Carradale afore, an' that wis in nineteen seeventy seeven. We could even use it tae boost the sales o' the cock-a-leekie soup!

Ah'm swooning in orgasmic delight here at the thocht o' it - ah bet ma last perr o' Jimmy Choos thit therr's no a Michelin starred restoarant thit's oafferin' sic a musical extravaganza alang wi' a guid helpin' o' the famous cock-a-leekie. Jings, we'll aw be oan that Goardon Ramsay's Show next!

Ah dono if Am ower keen on Yir idea o'playin outside the front door,wi yir bunnet on the grind

Ye took the wurds richt oot o' ma mooth therr Sarid. We cannae huv folk eatin' intae oor profits lik that. Naw Emdee, wan fur aw an' aw that. This venture is goat tae be the hicht o' sophisticashun an' the sicht o' a beggin' fiddler at the door micht sell us aw doon the Clyde. Noo, the idea o' a committee is a richt smairt plan sae we need tae start gettin' interestit folk oan board richt awa.

An ah wis thinkin' it micht be a braw idea tae huv Dr Snoddy as a wee insurance-lik, sleepin' pertner in the proabability o' huvin' folk over-indulgin' themsels?

If therr's nae objections, ah propose thit aw interestit perties meet up at The Cruban the morra nicht wherr, as usual, therr will be an array of Scottish delicacies available fur the discerning palate. Wid that be awricht wi' you Sarid as lang as ye don't huv tae take ony pert in the search perty fur Bitter End?

[SARID]

Let me assure ye, GG, That Goarden Ramsey will be right off the radar, wance wes are up an runnin. Ah wis readin only yisterday aboot the Three Chimneys restaurent in Skye named as wan o' the top five in the World,no less. We'll haav tae maybe try an get "Lums " in the name, tae be upsides wae the Skye wifie.
Emdee is on the right track wae some o' his ideas, but he needs tae rethink others,keepin in mind The upmerket establish we're aimin for.
A'll be in the "Cruban " tomorrow night fur the meetin, an sippin nothing stronger than gin an tonic tae ensure ma mind's as clear as a bell.Am na too sure aboot haavin Doc Snoddy as the medical man on the team. Wae his reputation we might be better callin NHS24, even if they haav tae travel from Glesca.
Am gettin really worried aboot Bitter End, last seen gettin into his wee punt an skullin off into the teeth o' the gale. If there's no word or a sightin by midnight the night,we'll hae tae alert the authorities, an instigate a search. Ah think his poor wife will be too distraught to do anything aboot it.