Scottish cuisine and more

[Govangirl]

Brace yourselves –I think this is going to be a very long post!
Mr Govangirl and I along with our friends (both born and bred in Scotland) went to London yesterday. Previously this year, to thank all our friends for the incredible support they had given us after hubby’s heart attack, we had taken them all to one of the two Scottish restaurants in London. It was a very pleasant experience but nothing to write home about and certainly lacked a Scottish link although we liked the modern Scottish decor. Yesterday we had booked the alternative one which was a dire experience and it has got me thinking.
Putting a tartan carpet on the floor and a kilt on an Eastern European waitress (who does not know the capital of Scotland btw and has never heard of irn bru!) does not make a Scottish experience. Having haggis on the menu does not constitute Scottish cuisine. Stocking the bar with a very extensive whisky choice and then charging extortionate prices (i.e. Talisker 10 year-old at £19 a dram! It’s currently £23.99 a bottle at Sainsbury’s) is a joke. My friend and I use Arran Aromatics products at home so why did they have Dove hand soap in their restrooms? Where was the Kintyre cheese, the Islay lamb (their beef is advertised as Aberdeenshire but then so is every steak in London steakhouses), the abundance of Scottish seafood, the Ayrshire potatoes, Scottish butter, vegetables, etc. etc. etc? Even the bottled water was French!!!!!! The menu was entirely non-Scottish apart from haggis and a nod or two to ‘Scottish’ ingredients and there was not one Scottish based dessert, not even Cranachan. All that and prices that would make your eyes water! It really has scunnered me!!!!!!

The place is advertised as a Jazz and Cigar Bar and Scottish restaurant. What an absolute joke. I began to think how I could put together a much more enriching experience without making it a typical shortbread tin one. Know what I would do? I’d buy that Keil Hotel, I’d decorate it throughout in contemporary Scottish decor, I’d use Scottish toiletries, I’d leave tablet in their rooms, I’d source the best local cuisine from over Scotland, I’d have my staff dressed appropriately, I’d have fiddle nights, local history nights, whisky-tasting nights, piping nights and cultural nights. I’d offer twin experiences you couldn’t beat: Hotel and Machrihanish Golf, Hotel and Whisky Tours, Hotel and Scottish Wedding packages, Hotel and Scottish Landscape Painting Breaks, Hotel and Scottish Cookery Weekends, Hotel and Photography Breaks, Hotel and Scottish Nature Holidays, etc., I’d advertise it all over the States – if Americans can fly to Edinburgh they can fly into Campbeltown – and all over Europe and I’d make it my business to know every part of Scottish culture. And if any member of my staff couldn’t say what Scotland’s capital city was, they’d be sacked on the spot.
I wish I could win the lottery!!!!!! (Actually, the KJPBA 200 club would be a start but haven’t even won anything yet on that.) I’ll keep dreaming!

[Ags]

What a shame GG! I had googled the restaurant this week after you said you were going and the menu looked really good!! I'm glad that the play was good and it wasn't an entirely wasted trip!!
Good luck with the lottery

[Iain]

Hi Govengirl ! Sorry to have heard about Hubby…, hope he's well !

As they say in the business…, it's imperative that you know your customers ! As for that restaurant who "never" have Scottish customers…, they know that their gullible tourists will fall for anything !

Anyway…if I was sitting in one of the Dragon's Den chairs, I'd invest in you without hesitation.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-l24GJmr ... re=related

I spent my first three army years in the Scots Guards in Chelsea Barracks. What a great time for an 18-year old ! (never did so many things in such a short year in all my life) Found my first girl friend at the Richmond pipe band competition, (a Mexican) and to "show off" my British heritage, I invited her to the Elizabethan restaurant in London. Even I was impressed…, straw on the floor, bawdy songs and a "King" for the evening gave a time-capsule-evening that few could have criticized.

What a wonderful idea for a restaurant in Campbeltown…, going back a couple of hundred years ! Spiders/ tinkers at the door/ MacDonald daggers/ (careful the Campbells) Emdee with his fiddle and slaps and tickles with the maids etc./ Hmmm ! You're going to make a fortune GG !

[wrighty]

thats sound like a fab idea!

[Govangirl]

What a wonderful idea for a restaurant in Campbeltown…, going back a couple of hundred years ! Spiders/ tinkers at the door/ MacDonald daggers/ (careful the Campbells) Emdee with his fiddle and slaps and tickles with the maids etc./ Hmmm ! You're going to make a fortune GG !

Right, there's three of us on board so far - you, Emdee and myself and you've got a cracking idea there. We're going to be millionaires! I haven't felt so excited since Sarid and I nearly went into business. If he's totally recovered from the airport search scare, he might want to invest in this latest entrepreneurial venture!!!!!

[Iain]

[SARID]

Whit a good idea tae start a Scottish themed restaurant in the toon. Ah wid really lake tae be considered tae be part o' the team. Ah presume we're talkin aboot an upmarket eaterie.Wae that in mind,A've been doin a bit o'research an hav found recipes fur whisky an drambuie based cocktails,wae names lake "Ecstacy "------ "Highland Fling "----- Scottish Sparkle Punch"-----an "Tam O' Shanter "
Ah presume we'll naw be servin deep fried mars bars (Am told they ur a big seller in Govan ). an Ah 've high hopes salt herrin an other delicacies lake "meal an Ingins " will feature on the menu( gie folk a taste o' whit the diet wis lake a few generations ago.) Ah look forward tae readin other folks'ideas

[MPR]

cod roe and fried bread
clootie dumplin
fried herring and aryshire tatties
smoked fish

can I be the front of the house manager?

[Govangirl]

can I be the front of the house manager?

See, this is the problem when you don't know what folk look like MPR. I'm sorry but Front of House needs to have a pleasant look about them. Can anyone on here vouch for your good looks? It doesn't matter what gender you are but you need to have a good face - we'll fail from the start if we have an old crony with warts, severe halitosis and BO to greet our many guests.

And you're in Sarid, you've shown your entrepreneurial spirit on this forum in the past but no airport visits for you!!!!! You're definitely in charge of Scottish cocktails - Ginger Tams, Rusty Nails and Whisky Macs (but we'll need a Campbeltown original with Springbank and irn bru base). And no, nae deep-fried anything!!!!!

I'm also hoping Bitter End will be available to do a monthly Comedy spot!

[MPR]

well GG I am a stunning tall midget, a dark haired, blond, transvestite with a welcoming brilliant white toothless smile and skin that glows like vintage parchment paper.Both legs are the same length and have just completed my final anger management class.
I can provide references and an impressive CV.
I am available for employment by your soon to be establishment, as soon as possible, however as long as the abductions continue I may have some short absences.