1. Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
2. Why do banks charge a fee on "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough?
3. Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
4. Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
5. Why do they use sterilised needles for death by lethal injection?
6. Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
7. Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?
8. Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
9. Whose idea was it to put an "S" in the word "lisp"?
10. What is the speed of darkness?
11. Are there specially reserved parking spaces for "normal" people at The Special Olympics?
12. If you send someone 'Styrofoam', how do you pack it?
13. If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as
cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
14. If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?
15. If it's true that we are here to help others, what are the others doing
here?
16. Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem
longer?
17. If someone with a split personality threatens to commit suicide, is it a
hostage situation?
18. Can you cry under water?
19. What level of importance must a person have , before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?
20. If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
21. Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
22. How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on bigger suitcases ?
23. Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?
24. If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
25. Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in
binoculars to look at things on the ground?
26. Why do doctors, when they ask you to strip, leave the room or close the cubicle curtain while you change? They're still going to see you naked
anyway.
27. If the metal used to make aircraft black boxes can withstand a crash - why don't they make the whole plane out of the same stuff?
28. Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
29. Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?
30. Why do you have to "put your tuppence worth in".. . but it's only a "penny for your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
31. What disease did cured ham actually have?
32. If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
33. Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
34. How come they choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss America???
35. If a 999 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
36. Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
37. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
38. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
39. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
40. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
41.When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you going to be smiling?
42. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
43. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
44. What do you call male ballerinas?
45. Do blind people dream?
46. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables what is baby oil made from?
47. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
48. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
49. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride he sticks his head out the window?
50. Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
I'm sure he is well known in Britain.
