Best Forum Signature

[Machrihanish]

What is the best forum signature you have seen...this is the best one I have seen so far:

I am woman, hear me yawn. I'm a vegetarian not because I hate meat - because I hate plants. This post does not contain any peanut or peanut products. Excessive flatulence can lead to social ostracization. Contents will settle during transcription. You can pick your nose but you can't pick your family. Avoid exposure to direct sunlight while reading this post. In effort to help keep your cholesterol count down, this post is steamed -- not fried. Don't put your finger in your mouth, you don't know where it's been. I wish to dedicate this list to the person I love most, but I won't post his name here, since his wife might see it. You are required to be at least three years old to read this text. Drink at least two 8oz glasses of water while reading this post. Do not stamp, fold, spindle or mutilate. No llamas were injured or abused during the composition of this paragraph. Didn't I see you at the bar last night, you were dancing on the table tops? Use other side for additional listings. Momma told me not to come. She also told me to shop around. For recreational use only. If condition persists, consult your physician. Freshest if read before date on carton. Contents subject to change without notice. Do not read this post while sleeping. Do not make me turn this car around. No postage necessary if emailed in the United States. Check here if tax deductible. Sign here without admitting guilt. The dog ate my homework. Col. Mustard did it in the living room with a candlestick. Do not try to operate heavy machinery while reading this post. Someone stole my motorcycle last week - Wynona, bring it back. This post recorded before a live studio audience. If a rash develops during the reading of this text, apply a triple antibiotic cream twice a day

[carola]

Here's some of my Favs.

"I swear to drunk I'm not God."
"Matt's debating is not a crime."

Will post some more when i remember them.