The Kintyre Forum

A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table...He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.

Suddenly she sneezed, and her glass eye came flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reached out, grabbed it out of the air, and handed it back.

'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman said, as she popped her eye back in place. 'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you.'

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they went to the theatre followed by drinks... They talked, they laughed, she shared her deepest dreams and he shared his. She listened to him with interest.

After paying for everything, she asked him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

The next morning, she cooked a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy was amazed. Everything had been so incredible!

'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman.. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'

'No,' she replies. . ........





















She said .... ......:

'You just happened to catch my eye.'

Absolutely brilliant.
Didn't "see" that punchline coming!

That's a good one and it has remined me of a man I used to know, a good memory of a good man to come back to me....
Tony would get chatting with an unsuspecting drinker in a pub and bet the person that if the bloke put a tenner or fiver on the table he could walk out of the door, shut it, and still keep his eye on it. If he couldn’t do this he would pay the other person a fiver or tenner, if he could do it, he kept whatever the other bloke had put down.
So many folk, after a few drinks, took him up on this, a note would be put down and Tony would pop his eye out, put it on the note, leave the room, come back and pocket the money.
His other favourite was( if he was running short of money for the next pint) to “accidentally” have his eye pop out and land in someone’s beer. Funny thing was, it was always a full pint, never half empty. Good old Tony, he collared a few free pints like that and no-one ever asked him to pay for the pint.
Poor old sod walked into The Fox one night, ordered a pint and before he could lift it a massive heart attack put paid to him, he was only 29. It was a real shame as he was ever such a nice man.