Carradale

[Annie]

Ach! Ahm jeest an eejit wae a computer, and a get wurse wae erey cocktail thet gets in mae. Dje naw know .......?????

HAHAHA!

[Bochan Mor]

Annie ye must be usin the wrang glue!

Och Bitter Friend, you know what it's like, you can take the girl away fae the Toon, but you cannae take the Toon fae the girl.

She probably thinks paste: thinks 'Shiphams' or 'Polycell' for that matter. Her hubby would have got a wild 'Gunker' the next time he looked at his PC monitor. Which ever paste she ultimately used, it would have set brick hard with the heat and radiation.

When did she close the shop in Longrow and move to Honolulu anyway? How far West of Carra is that and has she opened a new Emporium over there?

Did you notice that JDfromCarra has damn nearly got the hang of pasting photos now. A few more goes, and I'm damn sure that he'll get the jeest of it right enough. I've just crept out for a quick post. I think bubbly jock and myself might still be in the naughty corner. There's no point in even trying to get one over oor Malky, as he's been described by Davie P as: 'The Iron Moderator'.

I think they've put a lead on poor bubbly, because I'm finding neck feathers of turkey all over the village. Well at least they've spared him so far. Morenish has been ominously quiet this last week or two. Ach maybe he's stuck inside with his mobile and the fencing blues again. Never mind, the longer nights are coming now, and you'll soon be able to recognize the fine features of Sanyanya in natural light at 6pm. There were reports that Sanyanya was holding bubbly up in one of Morenish's sheds and feeding him a high energy diet. It looks like we've only got 11 months to spring him, as no doubt our Morenish will have a harvest plan for the coming year.

Talking of our intrepid crofter, he was allegedly signed up to go away on tour with Kevin Montgomery and Johnny 'the Bus' MacKinnon. He was going to be a roadie, bouncer, noise engineer & manager all rolled into one. His orange badge had even been transferred onto the wagon and his stove installed in the trailer. However, the wheels fell off when he refused to unload his pet sheep, goat and support acts, the Wild Spatchcocks and the Carra-Kales.

I would say a small price to pay, as no doubt they could have filled village halls, the length and breadth of Wester Ross & Sutherland. I am not sure if it would have worked in the Festering Isles however, as they have strict codes of conduct relating to entertainment and how it is classified. At least one of the afore mentioned groups has a track record in this area, but was unable or unwilling to provide details of their current classification.

Apparently in Lewis, you have to include something spiritual in your act and deliver it with straight faces in fluent 'Lewis' gaelic before you will be given leave to entertain. You also have to agree to donate one hour of your time to broadcast on Isles FM, where your own brand of music will be interspersed with a liberal helping of psalms and serious adverts. 'Come to Alex Dan's for all your bicycle needs.' If your looking for some tubes, spanners, or just a good pump for that matter, then he's your man.

South Uist and Barra are much more liberal than their presbyterian neighbours to the North. As long as you stick to delivering in Gaelic, then anything goes. Someone said a young mother's group in Castlebay recently booked the 'Chippendails' who performed to a couple of numbers by Fliuch, Fliuch, Fliuch. The young mothers never made it through the door though, as they were over-run by their own mothers, grand-mothers, great aunties and male Stewards from some of the visiting ferries. The local Fire-Brigade were there however, backed up by the crews from Eriskay and Loch Boisdale allegedly to enforce the strict fire regulations. The Coastguard team was unable to provide a credible explanation for its presence, muttering something about a Honolulu wave.

Here was me thinking that this was what Annie gave as she flew over the Toon during the Emigration procedure.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Pretty funny description of entertainment on the islands.

I think I've heard that they don't have Chippendale dancers on the island, they hire the exotic Carradale dancers. Bubbly plucks his feathers one by one and the guys use them in their dances. The very last act (I have heard) is Bubbly popping out pluck naked!!!

Is it any wonder the mothers and grandmothers and aunties and ship stewards are in such a state?? Who wouldn't be??

[dgraves]

South Uist and Barra are much more liberal than their presbyterian neighbours to the North. As long as you stick to delivering in Gaelic, then anything goes. Someone said a young mother's group in Castlebay recently booked the 'Chippendails' who performed to a couple of numbers by Fliuch, Fliuch, Fliuch. The young mothers never made it through the door though, as they were over-run by their own mothers, grand-mothers, great aunties and male Stewards from some of the visiting ferries. The local Fire-Brigade were there however, backed up by the crews from Eriskay and Loch Boisdale allegedly to enforce the strict fire regulations. The Coastguard team was unable to provide a credible explanation for its presence, muttering something about a Honolulu wave.

Here was me thinking that this was what Annie gave as she flew over the Toon during the Emigration procedure.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

I found this ad on one of THOSE sites on the net!

PLUCK NAKED! LIVE! 8 P.M.!!
FEATURING THE FEATHERED FANTASY HIMSELF, BUBBLY AND HIS EXOTIC CARRADALE DANCERS! This is all we can show you of Bubbly (because this is a family forum) Come see the rest with your own eyes!



The exotic! The erotic!

[Hugs Thistles]

Ach now, your grotesque freends frae Muthill fully intend to add to the razzamatazz of an Otter's Saturday Night in the metropolis down the coast from sonsie Carradale sometime in March. So? Well surely there's a Friday night session to be had for us all to pull out our instruments and give them a good plucking somewhere in the fairest toon o' them a'. Isn't there?

[Bitter End]

Guid wan Texas Boab .Is thet Hugs band in yer ither photy? Guid tae see he's cummin back, Ah believe he his sum unfinished business in the area!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Recruiting?

[Bitter End]

Texas Boab-- Aye noo the White Heather Club dancers hiv retired he'll be needin sum younger wans tae haud the beat oan the flair!--- so wha sent ye the picture o the recruitment ball? They aall look in fine fettle an enjoyin thimsells jist grand.

[Hugs Thistles]

Guid wan Texas Boab .Is thet Hugs band in yer ither photy? Guid tae see he's cummin back, Ah believe he his sum unfinished business in the area!

Yir no wrong Bitter End. There's a richt few burds what'd be most pleasing to familiarise with, and a guid few o' barely the other gender furra rest o' the boys to admire. A cupple o' them footballers to boot.

signed,
HT

[paraffin man]

Just noticed this;

1000 posting

Every one of them entertaining to.

'Who would have thought so much come out of something so small'

[take_a_pop]

The Dale micht be smal P/man, but thur MOOOTH'ES ur'na, thur lolli pops ur huge up thir, they mak them thit wae tae fir thur moooth'es.
Fers fer tho, thur yarns ur guid, an thur photo's ur bettir, JEEST DINNA GO THER.

[Ticketty Boo!]

I got promised a polo shirt about May last year for making the 400th or 500th (or something) post - still waiting!!!

[Bitter End]

Aye Pop Attack yer ded richt . We aall need tae hive richt big mooths fur swalli-ing yer wild tales an stoap thim frae stikkin tae oor teeth! An aye remember ye can aye share a Big Lolly whin a wee yin wid be awa in wan sook!

[morenish]

well,well here's me chust got back from a fortnight in lewis and this carradale thread hass been taken ovfer by dancing and singing a streeping turkeys, it would soocht you's all better to go to the churrch and pray forgeevness for yer seens!

2 weeks i was away and the depths to which you have suunk in such a short tiime, no,no this will nevfer do, get up to the choorch the lot off you and get on yer kneesss today, this can't wait till sunday.

as for mr mongomery and mr mackinnon, they were well accepted in ness when i got them stopped seenging songs by yon heathyen daniel o do**el(though he IS good to his mother) and onto the mingulay boacht song and songs by willie john etc.

but ohh i thocht i had seen all the weekedness in the world when the ferry called at castlebay after leavfing lochboisdale at 12:05 on monday morning.

drunkeness and debausherry in the dirty streets,fornication and,and,laughing!
welll this must nevfer be allowed to happen in this village, repent i say !
kneel before the lord and pray forgeevness for your weeked ways and for inverness cally to beat celtic again.