Carradale

[Hugs Thistles]

Och 'cause you see it's like this: - There are thirteen trumpets and thirteen lambs, playing seven tunes on seven trumpets. Yeah! And it was good.

So Bochan Mor begat Lemmy and Lemmy begat Frank N Furter, and Frank begat Julian Clary and Julian Clary begat 1/2 pound of Wensleydale, and the 1/2 pound of Wensleydale begat George Bush, and George Bush begat jubbly bock, and jubbly bock begat the three headed dog of Hades, and the three headed dog begat all the hoards of Papa New Guinea, and the hoards begat the new Ikea proposed for High Blantyre and the new Ikea begat the Furtive Whelks of New Brunswick, and the Whelks begat the slime of the The Generations, and The Generations begat the Lichees of The Orchid in Crieff, and The Orchid in turn the Festering Boils of Mammon, and the Festering Boils begat the XI Legion, and the XI Legion begat the Sorcerer of Glen Michael, and the Sorcerer begat the Fuming Pit of Miracles Unseen, and the Pit begat the Dialogue of the Tribes of Kintyre, and the Dialogue of the Tribes of Kintyre begat the Weariness of Furness Loch Fyne, and the Weariness begat the Turning Point.

And thus it was Fourteen Generations, or thereabouts, I can't be *rsed counting, from the Bochan to the Turning Point.

Thus I list the chosen: -

Edwin Van der Sar
William Rufus
Nicholas Witchell
Nobby Stiles
Harry Potter
Charlotte the Spider
Condalisa Rice
George Orwell
Michael Douglas
Kipper from the Biff, Chip & Kipper books
Little Jimmy Osmond
and
NeferNeferuatuNefertiti

Forsooth, and for want of another,

I remain, yours and yours only,
Hurt Tressles

[morenish]

well,well hugs thistles so the bochan hass conned you into eachting 1 of his damned cakes,you should haff ressisted temptaaaashun!

you see the polis raided his hoose a few weeks ago and found nussing out of place except a durty,durty carpet, but if they had tested it they would have found wan of the most dancherous drug operations this side of airds, man,man .
he makes up the dough in a huge bowel an then pretends to drop it on the carpet,gies it a wee ruchel then into tins and bakes them at 180 for16 minutes or untill they stop speaking.
then he hands them out willy nilly to unsuspecting tourists, nilly got very mellow but it had a very strange affect on old willy

[Ticketty Boo!]

Is Charlotte the Spider any relation to Boris the Spider?

[Whips & Jingles]

Is Charlotte the Spider any relation to Boris the Spider?

By all accounts, the Spiders are very distant relatives, so Tickety needn't have any reservations regarding them entering a permanent state of dreadlock.

The Bochan cakes were sublime from what I can remember, and I'm more than sure that Morenish (Remember the Kaftan), knows this to be the case. As for the 'Wee Ruchel', it brings back happy memories of the grand opening of the Glen and the brand new carpets (The famers had to take their boots off at the door in those days and the fishermen had to scrape off the scales).

In these days, although not very fashionable in Carradale, a beard was seen as a sign of virility, oh that and a proliference of wiry chest hair! I remember one lady in particular who fitted this bill to a 'T', both facially and pectorally. What ever happened to ............? No, never mind. Her name escapes me, but isn't that essential to the plot, but just as well it was fair!

Lady shaves hadn't been invented and the local shops didn't sell much in the way of Immac, although I believe that blow-torches were available at the pier for those with a more robust profusion. However, as they were the brass built petrol variety, it was a dead giveaway during the slow dances in the hall with the aroma of singed hair and lead-laden combustion gases, engrained into the fibres of the well filled frock, as we swayed to the sound of the Kintyre Ceilidh Band and the West Coasters. Little did we know that our world would soon be turned upside down by the KJ Road Show and Hinton Craig.

I remember walking to Tarbert to get my shoes mended, but damn me, I was down in the heel again by the time I saw the street lamp at the Square. The kids of today, don't even know or care about cross ply tyres, so who's ever going to explain the significance of evenly worn tread, when all that's in their brains is MSN and those I-Pods. I think that Mr Apple must have been at the fishing at one time, and heard the skipper cursing: 'Aye Podlies again!'

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Was driving down the road going towards Mount Rainier and saw this amazing metalwork of life-size giraffes, and dinosaurs and other things. I yelled STOP!, and so I did... cause I was driving

The guitarist particularly reminded me of the Carradale thread (don't ask me why)... (I said don't ask.. ) (Thank you..)




Edit: I actually was looking around to see if this person had a homepage and found that he does.
http://www.danielklennert.com/

[Sanyanya]

Was driving down the road going towards Mount Rainier and saw this amazing metalwork of life-size giraffes, and dinosaurs and other things. I yelled STOP!, and so I did... cause I was driving

The guitarist particularly reminded me of the Carradale thread (don't ask me why)... (I said don't ask.. ) (Thank you..)


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Looks like the 'Wile Sarrachs' have degenerated awaiting some kind of recognition and JDMaCarra and his bike have turned to stone passing the ghost rock. I thought he looked a trifle petrified the other day, clinging to the steering wheel with the eyes of a startled hare. I don't suppose Bochan Mor has a cake recipe suited to baking by camp fire?

[Bochan Mor]

I canna agree wae Sanyanya on the Wild Sarrach thing at all. It has a definite look of a 'Galloot' who's utilised the seat from Morenish's tractor to fabricate an Ayr Guitar. Aye, an absolute galloot! Come on now B.E.T, there's one in every village, so there's bound to be a wheen of them in San Antonio.

Hoots the scoop, on yer local galloot?
Oor's now stays clear O' Waterfoot.
Stepping Stones at the top of the tide,
Into the whins and not with his bride.
Organ grinding was his trade, if he's caught at his nonsense,
He'll gleefully be flayed!

A good stick to his erse will do him less harm,
than 10 minutes of drivel that he delivers as charm!


As for the baking by the light of the campfire: Your naw living in the real world Sanyanya. Keep back a bag of whelks this week and get yersel one of those damned microwave ovens. There's a socket in Morenish's shed, if your looking for somewhere convenient to plug it into. As long as you don't remove any of his logs, he'll never know the difference

[Bitter End]

Ah micro waved wulks whit a delicacy! only the Bochan could a cum oot wi thet!! Fur the benefit o Texas Boab - most folk wid bile thim an eat thim wi a needle . Ye heve tae be semi sober or ye git a wild dose o holes in yer tongue an chips oot o yer teeth, resultin in 2 trips - - wan tae Snoddy an wan tae the dentist in the Toon! - Both verra expensive an requirin mair drink fur tae calm the nerves afore an efter the visitations! Then mair Wulks! Could be wan o they cycle things thet helps the businesses in Kintyre prosper- -.

[Bochan Mor]

Ah micro waved wulks whit a delicacy! only the Bochan could a cum oot wi thet!! Fur the benefit o Texas Boab - most folk wid bile thim an eat thim wi a needle . Ye heve tae be semi sober or ye git a wild dose o holes in yer tongue an chips oot o yer teeth, resultin in 2 trips - - wan tae Snoddy an wan tae the dentist in the Toon! - Both verra expensive an requirin mair drink fur tae calm the nerves afore an efter the visitations! Then mair Wulks! Could be wan o they cycle things thet helps the businesses in Kintyre prosper- -.

Ach yer there Bitter End! I wondered when you'd get up out yer scratcher and look at the cold light of day.

You'll have drunk yer first pot of tea by now, and you'll be contemplating the cinders from last nights fire, along with the soot from the blow-doons. Watch you don't put to much dross on, or the Trigger Happy Trumpton brigade will be on yer chimney wae hoses, cameras and all sorts, wae naw even as much as a: 'Would ye mind!'

It could be worse right enough, they've been known to lob bricks through the windaes to let the smoke out.

Ach but that was before the training I suppose!

[Bitter End]

Blaw doons! the livinroom is jist bleck! an the herth rug is soakin! whit a wild night. The rain wis swirlin roon in the breeze an jist pourin doon the lum-- Ah didna need any o "the Finest" tae flood the hoose , it wis managin quite well enough on its oan! SO whilst its dry Ahl heave the rug ower the dyke fur an airin an gie the inside walls a wee rub wi a demp cloot an mak thim an even shade o grey, thet micht be jist enough tae keep hersell aff ma back --but AH hae me doots! Gled tae ken ye wirna washed oot yersell. Ah wis thinkin o ye tho -Ah wis readin an auld Glesga Herald diary --it wis talkin aboot yer flyin freens! it said the the Shonet Hawks flyin ower the toon o Methyl in Fyfe turn ontae ther backs - fur thers naethin worth shonettin oan!

[morenish]

aye,aye well ms tejas now ye see how the folk in this part of the wurld live, nussing to do but gossip and complain aboot the weather, it's a great life in the civil service,(peety they wirna more civil)
if they had coos to feed and sheep to hurd they wid maybe know whit work wis!
theres 4th gen soothen fermer and part time popular music promoter, no a minute o spare time to even post on here,an myself would be chust fair lost withoot the strong mrs morenish to look efter the prime stock an make my tea.
but ehh thon seats are worth a pound or two at auction if you find any kickin aboot the yard!

[Bitter End]

Aye noo Morenish tis jist as weel thet herself is strong enough fur the pair o ye ! Wi aal yer moanin aboot the price o feed an fuel an cooncil tax an seed an coal an labour an folk gossipin its nae wunner yeve nae strength left fur ennythin but mair moanin. Thers naethin rang wi guid blether an Ah should know fur Ah is wan! Noo whin Ah wis in the Big Smoke Ah wis lookin et the folks oan they unnergrun trains --If you pit the same nummer o beasts in a float thet they pit people intae wan o they things Yer feet wid niver touch the grun before ye hit the jile flair! an thets a fact! The man fae the meenistry wid hae ye executed fur cruelty! Mrs MOrenish wid then be able tae convert aal thet scrap in yer yard ( ye call it machinery) intae hard cash an retire anywhere she wanted in total peace!

[Bochan Mor]

Morenish could be a rich man yet, with the price of gas going up the way it is. All that hot air, combined with the methane from the fermenting dung heap could heat most of the village for a year or two. That's before he even taps into the wasted energing eminating from his lum since he bought thon big erse toaster of a stove.

I'm surprised him and Crubhan Troy haven't linked up for a blether yet, but maybe it's all been by private messages. Ach anyway, I'm off tae ma scratcher, tomorrow's another day.

[bubbly jock]

Aye Bochan mor you were right about the feathers being mine I am only now able to come oot in the cold. All the primarys are back in place.

I see the site has changed a bit. I'll be kind and say it's had a face lift but in all truth the Iron Mod has taken a crow bar in his efforts at political correctness. He's thrown the wean oot wae the bath water from what I can see from this wee perch.

I was hearing the last day that the search is still on for me right enough but the polis are rumoured tae have a good lead. Apparently they know who my feather is so that's a start for them. A spokesman says they're liasoning wae General.

General Jack 'o' neil was pipped at the post for the job 'cause all his shoulder pips have turned tae chips. They thought I would not be taken alive if he caught me. My God is there anybody that man likes. I'm glad he's naw efter me.

He's nearly as bad as thon sweltered. He minds me on thase poor wee monkeys in the cages in the markets in veitnam. Gone bonkers wae the sun on their wee brains. Maybe he should get back tae the cold and damp if that's what the sun is doing to him.

I see vest and kneekers from ower the burn are still posting. Is there nae pants and socks at hame tae curtail them.

Ach hoot dae you expect from bloody colonials who drive on the wrong side of the road. Do they naw know that driving on the left side is the right side and driving on the right side is SUICIDE.

Anyway like yourshelf I'm away tae my scratcher. See you the morrow

bubbly

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Bubbly!!! Good to see you back!!! I see the map got you oriented also!

No pants. No socks. Pantless and sockless. Like one of those dreams.

And tell you what, Bubbly. If I come back, I'll teach you how to drive on the right side of the road