Carradale

[Ship called Dignity]

Don't worry chaps....sorted for now but will need to upgrade etc.

Every time I turn ma back something happens......its as if I have been cursed by the bochans!

Will need to sort the site admin of this site mind you! Again!!

[The Heidless Horseman]

Aye, you can come back now boys, she's away now.........

So, consorting with Wet Men and chickens is it Bochan Mor?
Just what I would have expected from someone who was never fit to wear a REAL bochan's sark - a complete coward from heid to toe who vexed his puir faither's hert sair.

Many's the night I galloped after you in the gathering fog as you took to your heels down Broomfield howling for mercy and spilling the gigot chops you had stolen all over the road. Me and my old drinking buddy the Black Hand used to have competitions to see who could make the noise that would frighten you the most. Ah, but we never quite matched the night when we both ended up in keenks watching as the young Sanyanya and wee brother unwittingly followed you down the Portrigh road playing with some old coconut shells. You must have thought there was two of me that time.

Anyway, you're not the only hoary auld legend from the village who has had a makeover for the digital age, so I'm telling you now - I'm on yer case again. Beware the sound of hooves in the dark - you're nightmares are beginning all over again! Bochan Mor? Bochan Beag!

[Bochan Mor]

Here we go again; that prancing mare thundering back up and doon our streets. We get clear of one plague and another pops up. I think it must be the weather. We were needing a few good frosts over the winter to quell this damnedable viral activity. I heard he was on his way back to haunt us. Some of the villagers have even sold up after a lifetime in the village and are said to be moving to the toon as a precautionary measure. Not me though, I'll sort him this time.

Gigot chops indeed, that's what his mount will be converted to, if I have my way. Bochan Beag and me have looked out double sweeps from a now defunct Boris Eidelweiss trawl that we found down the shore road. After cutting the grass, we'll streetch them where he's least expecting it. If we patch up the holes in the netting, we'll maybe deploy that as well.

Anyway, we still ate Wee Scooms gigots, and they were damn good, with buttered & peppered cabbage and new potatoes tossed in oatmeal.

Old pale-rider himself is jeest jealous that these delights never get much further than the back of his thrapple. When's the last time he had to buy Andrex.

Aye, the only reason I filled ma breeks was because I could. Ah was once told that if you dont eat, you don't pass, and if you dont pass, you die! So away and bile yer heid horseman!

[The Heidless Horseman]

Was that a squeak I just heard from the ditch?

Away ye go ye impudent wee bachle! When did you ever pay for anything? Or maybe you've gone respectable as well as soft. A wee tab in the Baker's is it? - "Oh, and can I just pay for last month's Andrex as well as my moisturiser?" I don't think so ye bleggard.

Fatal flaw in your plan Bochan - one thing both my horse and I can pass is through walls and other solids, and especially through "defunct Boris Eidelweiss trawls". Mind you, it's nice to see your Julie Andrews fixation is still to the fore. Is that not what stopped you from rising through the ranks back in the 70s? As I recall, many of your Favourite Things were not listed in the "The Fundamental Bochan" and considered beyond the pale. Of course it's all different now, all that getting in touch with your inner bochan stuff and throwaway handbooks like "Bochans for Dummies"encourages that sort of nonsense, although given the juvenile nature of your postings on here I suspect you have been reading "Dummies for Bochans!"

My heid was boiled almost 250 years ago and to be honest I don't miss it one bit, but I have some new technology hidden about my person which includes a number of anti-bochan measures, so once again my fiend, "Beware"! Also, The Black Hand has been in touch after he read my posting and it turns out he picked up the discarded coconut shells down the track and still has them. If we can't find Sanyanya, I'm sure there's more than a few of the crofters you've bothered over the years who would be more than happy to play some Mind Games with the "great" Bochan Mor.

Enjoy the summer - it will be a long winter in exile!

[Bochan Mor]

Here was me just about to invite you out for a drink as well. Then I remembered, you don't have a mooth, never mind a heid!

Wondered if you would have been galloping around Glasgow at the big EXHIBEETION. Aye, its that time of year again, where rival fishermen put the previous year behind them and creelers cosy up with trawler-men and Fishery Officers roam amongst leagal eagles sipping gins and slapping backs. Toonies will even enter into good natured banter with Jakes, without Crofters as mediators. Malliag men will be greeting Clyde men like long lost cousins, instead of the scourge that they truly see them as. Everyone will be wondering who's to be crowned 'King Clam' this year and how many more boats will he build.

The staff of the Moat House bar will be knee deep in fish scales on Saturday morning, and clean puzzled as to why. There'll have been more fish, clams & prawns landed at that bar this weekend than the TAC for the last 10 years, never mind the first few months of this year. Then there's the bushy fellas who are doing all the real haymaking, they'll be smirking inside, but keeping stume!

Aye, many's a person has made a right Exhibeetion of themselves at the SECC in previous years, demolishing stands and sleeping under boats. No doubt this year will have seen its fair share.

The Bunlarie joiner was even spotted setting off with a right motley crew on Friday, and what ever happened, he was coming back down through Kintyre on Saturday night with a BRD registered boat astern of the van. Maybe the hammers and chisels will be cast aside and he'll be making a bee-line for Lachie's Port, in search of the elusive crebs.

Well the sun's shining on the backs of the gannets as they strike close in again this morning as I fry my herring in oatmeal. They don't taste the same anymore, maybe not fresh enough, almost sanitized. I bet the gannets breakfast from the Sound tastes much better; as fresh as a fry from Matt Sloan, the legendry Clyde ring net fisherman who passed away this week. Maybe he's now soaring with the gannets over the Craig or the South Minch!

A true legend, whose likes will never be seen again!

[The Heidless Horseman]

Ach Bochan Mor, are you not just the big sentimental softie?

Felt like greetin' masel' after your last post but then I rememebered I have no heid! But I must say that you have rekindled long lost memories and got me thinking about why I went away in the first place. Contrary to the old proverb, the song doesn't remain the same, there are forever changes and never for the better. Aye the crofters of Carradale are a thing of the past, a spent force jeest like the two of us . There's no reason to stay anymore Bochan Mor. The wagon train is aboot to leave but there's still time for you to climb aboard with the Heidless Horseman and we'll head into the West like a pair of Sunset Cowboys.

[Sanyanya]

There's nothing like a young head on old shoulders, so I'm going to give you couple of old hasbeens a wide berth here. But I've a couple of questions to ask before you ride off into the sunset.

1. We've all heard of 'Black Jumper', but what the devil is the 'Black Hand?'
2. Where can I find Wee Geordie's coconut shells? he's missed them terribly!

[The Scouder]

Too late Sanyanya - it looks like Darby and Joan have gone to wherever they're headed (or maybe be-headed )

Eh, you won't mind if I just step back a wee bit here? Your reputation as a Scouder Smasher goes before you. Hopefully you've grown out of the habit of crawling along Port a Beag on your hands and knees after imbibing thon wild home-brew, clutching a stolen paddle from a rubber dingy and howling "Ah waaaaaaant a jellyfish" to the moon and stars?

Is there any truth in the rumour that the recipe comprised equal parts elderflower and hemlock with a couple of cans of Pale Ale thrown in to give it a kick? According to my grandfather when that stuff was in season it was time to head for the Arran Shore.

I expect the Black Hand is the Black Hand of Saddell. Seemingly it appeared hanging in the air in front of the village blacksmith who took off for the sanctuary of the castle and got in the big door just in time. There is supposed to be a mark on the Castle Door to this day which was caused by the fist of the Black Hand! Couldn't find anything on the net about him but Saddell Abbey features in 101 British Ghosts at Number 70: " Saddell Abbey in Scotland is said to be haunted by “giants and beasties”."

I've no idea about Wee Geordie's coconut shells but if they've been in the possession of the Saddell Supernaturals for the past thirty years, probably best to steal another one..........

http://maxpages.com/folklore/101_british_ghosts

[The Scouder]

1. We've all heard of 'Black Jumper'[quote]


Meant to ask, what's a "Black Jumper"? Is that anything to do with them huge mutant rabbits that are rumoured to be at Southend?

[bubbly jock]

No scouder It's a Machriebeg Ram.

[GarySutherland]

The messages in the topic get more surreal by the day!

Interesting about Saddell though.

Gary

[The Scouder]

No scouder It's a Machriebeg Ram.

Cheers, Bubbly. I'm not so hot with the new technology How many megabytes does it have?

[bubbly jock]

Scouder

What you doin way down in benefit valley The tides are not right for a drift that far down to Dunaverty.

Regarding megabytes, Don't know but with 200 ewes I would imagine you mean lovebytes. They don't call him the black jumper for nothing.

Or maybe he was reared on coal as well.

[Sanyanya]

Here now Gary, surely you've realised before now, that the folk your living amongst are far from ordinary!

[The Scouder]

Scouder

Don't know but with 200 ewes I would imagine you mean lovebytes. They don't call him the black jumper for nothing.

Or maybe he was reared on coal as well.

Can't imagine what you mean............