Carradale

[bubbly jock]

grass beautician, as bubbly tells me that he is equipped with a selection of dedicated implements capable of dealing with scenarios such as this and many more.

Sanyanya

Not sure if the grass beauticians would cope with such a big job.

It would take a really good company tae invent such a mean machine. Mind you there are some companies that could manage to invent wan. The only drawback would be the price.

Mc Culloch would be the wan tae manufacture the very thing. I don't think even the Giros would stretch tae buying wan of these beasts. Well, at least I've never seen wan in the grass tarter uppers collection so far.

It could be quite a status symbol, just like having your very own porsche when all your neighbours are running round in wee cars wae the boot open for the mower handles and log splitters tae jut oot.

bubbly

[Sanyanya]

grass beautician, as bubbly tells me that he is equipped with a selection of dedicated implements capable of dealing with scenarios such as this and many more.

Sanyanya

Not sure if the grass beauticians would cope with such a big job.

It would take a really good company tae invent such a mean machine. Mind you there are some companies that could manage to invent wan. The only drawback would be the price.

Mc Culloch would be the wan tae manufacture the very thing. I don't think even the Giros would stretch tae buying wan of these beasts. Well, at least I've never seen wan in the grass tarter uppers collection so far.

It could be quite a status symbol, just like having your very own porsche when all your neighbours are running round in wee cars wae the boot open for the mower handles and log splitters tae jut oot.

bubbly

I suppose if Mr Morenish could find somebody with a very sharp nose, then that might be enough to do the trick. He could also try the organic method: burying them for six months in a peaty substrate, rendering the bark and grain like slow roasted fillet of venison.

Steeping in vinegar would also provide a solution, but unless I'm mistaken, the old barking tanks at Waterfoot were vandalised & decimated by a White Settler around 20 years ago. (Forgive them Pongal, for they knew not what they did!)

[Annie]

Who needs a lawnmower when ye hae a pal wae a good coupla hungry heifers or a coupla tips?????????

They eat the grass and fertilize it at the same time!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

[dgraves]

Jeest don't leave them too close to the brazier, or Sanyanya will walk away wae a rack of lamb (Ready Cooked).
I have to say Morenish, I've never seen a stack of logs looking to pongal. It should be up for the Turner Prize. Aye, the devil makes work for idle hands!

Father would invariably pluck a plump specimen from the hoodie crows in April as we wandered down through the glen on the home stretch to the favoured summer pitch. He would bury it for a week, not to enhance the flavour, but to conceal it from the milkman or the constable, depending on which had consumed the largest portion of mustard that day. When the finger pointing and erse covering exercises were yesterday's news, the carcass would be exhumed and skinned for my young brothers next coat, with the edibles carefully disected into managable portions. The dogs would be in clover with heart, sweetbreads etc being lovingly served to them on the grass at the back of the tent.

Roasted over willow and whin, there was no need for rosemary or mint sauce beneath our infinite roof. Three pounds and not an ounce more of selected potatoes from the bakers middle store, carefully weighed into a paper bag advertising 'Melroses Tea' and twisted neatly at the 2 corners, it was the perfect complement along with a slack handful of shredded kale from the prize winning gardens of Tormohr.

With all of this recent interest in local business ventures, I think Sanyanya, Morenish,
Right Pongal and Bochan Mor would make a mint with their new book of recipes,
"Carradale a la Carte" Mmmmmmmm boy!!. Warning: beware of fumes.

As for your log pile, I am quite certain that neither Bobbie nor Dorian would like to see a photo of the said heap.

I'm sure Morenish is quite proud of his log pile, Sanyanya.
He has it booby trapped with mean varmints that fly out at unsuspecting intruders.



I would never wish that fate on poor JD.
If you do go, JD use a zoom lens.

[morenish]

aye well i chust thought id "log in" and blow me but theres a lot of heat blowing my way and folk talkin a rigt shile of pite, yee's are all jeest jealous!
but where did the photo of sanyanas fisogue come from dgraves?

[dgraves]

Well darn it, Mr. Morenish..just shows you how unreliable that NASA zoom program is in the wilds of Kintyre.
Here I thought that was your log pile and I wound up in Sanyanya's yard.
You can see the house numbers on peoples' homes here in the US,
but get over there traveling down the length of Kintyre...
things get a little fuzzy...sometimes you zoom in on beady little eyes and sharp teeth.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Well darn it, Mr. Morenish..just shows you how unreliable that NASA zoom program is in the wilds of Kintyre. Here I thought that was your log pile and I wound up in Sanyanya's yard.

Funny, Dorian!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

aye well i chust thought id "log in" and blow me but theres a lot of heat blowing my way and folk talkin a rigt shile of pite, yee's are all jeest jealous!
but where did the photo of sanyanas fisogue come from dgraves?

Okay, I'll bite.. whatsa fisogue? Face?

[Ticketty Boo!]

Weather permitting, the good ship Ticketty Boo! sails for Trumpton on Saturday for a week's respite care at the hands of the Bochans. She'll be crewed by Brutains Hardy Sons. We're bringing the sunshine wi' us and a big jar o' the mudgies. Mrs Boo and the wee boo-ettes have been sharpening up their skills at the muschief in time fer some high jenks. Wee Boo-ette has swatted up at the swapping of the car number plates, tieing hoose doors the gether and moving the plant pots around.

Noo that the goats are a wee bit mair docile, they could be herded into a couple of gairdens or onto a fushin boat or two or even in a caravan door in the nicht?

Can anybody give me opening times for the Amusement park, Go kerts, Swummin pool or antiques fair for next week?

Have Ikea opened their new store in Trumpton yet? Is the Glen still closed from Sunday to Setturday?

[morenish]

go to the top of the class boabby!

now then tickety boo you keep yon wee boo-ets under controll!
see the last time they were at yon numberplate swappin, it took johnny durnan a whole week to cut the 2 cars in half an weld them back together to get the plates to match

[Right Pongal]

Weather permitting, the good ship Ticketty Boo! sails for Trumpton on Saturday for a week's respite care at the hands of the Bochans. She'll be crewed by Brutains Hardy Sons. We're bringing the sunshine wi' us and a big jar o' the mudgies. Mrs Boo and the wee boo-ettes have been sharpening up their skills at the muschief in time fer some high jenks. Wee Boo-ette has swatted up at the swapping of the car number plates, tieing hoose doors the gether and moving the plant pots around.

Noo that the goats are a wee bit mair docile, they could be herded into a couple of gairdens or onto a fushin boat or two or even in a caravan door in the nicht?

Can anybody give me opening times for the Amusement park, Go kerts, Swummin pool or antiques fair for next week?

Have Ikea opened their new store in Trumpton yet? Is the Glen still closed from Sunday to Setturday?

If you can find a bochan, you'll be doing damn well. There's been no sign of the chief bochan for weeks, where ever the devil he's got to. I was doon at the quay this morning getting Mrs Pongal's People's Friend and the Doom & Gloom (Fishing News), and I asked someone what 'Tickety Boo' meant?

The reply was: 'Ach Right Pongal!'

Aye says I, but what does it mean? 'Ach Right Pongal' Was the reply again.

'Ach away with yer nonsense I said, I'll need to go and ask someone wae more brains than a rocking horse, and wiser than a sterving sheep! Now maybe when Morenish gets up off his knees fae checking number plates, I'll ask him.

PS. The amusement park opens about Easter, and shuts following the tattie howking in October. It stretches from John O' Groats right down to the border with England-shire. The indigenous population lie on their oars whilst the serving and cleaning is performed impecibly by an army of polite, hard-working East Europeans! We have an up-market Ikea down in the town called N & D. They don't sell Swedish Meat balls, you don't have to stand in such a big queue and thankfully the stock items don't have unpronouncable Swedish names.

You'd better post yer ETA so that Big Bob can catch yer ropes. Leave plenty of slack, so that she'll lie off a bit, or the goats will be aboard. What ever you do, don't go near the point, or the other goats will most certainly make a right job of you. Right, I'm away to rake through the ashes and put the guard to the fire. It's time I locked the back door and put Mrs Pongal's teeth into the Steradent. There's a right reek coming off Morenish's lum the night, so he must have seen a forecast and stoked her up like the Vital Spark. Just wait till Mrs Pongal gets him, the grandchildren will be away doon to the school smelling like kippers again. They'll probably be told to go and stand out in the rain until the aroma disappears!

[Ticketty Boo!]

The crew of the guid shup Ticketty Boo! have been waatchin the weather forecasts with great interest over the past few days. Acording to yon UK Windmap folks, we're looking at a Nor'Westerly for Setturday.
I was thinking with the wind being that way, and me sailing from Ardrossan, I'd have an easier and mair sheltered passage going South of Arran? The straight line journey is 31 miles gan by the Cock and 33 miles gan by Pladda. If it swings to Westerly, I'll go North.

Whit wid the old salts do with a NW wind for that journey?

[Right Pongal]

The crew of the guid shup Ticketty Boo! have been waatchin the weather forecasts with great interest over the past few days. Acording to yon UK Windmap folks, we're looking at a Nor'Westerly for Setturday.
I was thinking with the wind being that way, and me sailing from Ardrossan, I'd have an easier and mair sheltered passage going South of Arran? The straight line journey is 31 miles gan by the Cock and 33 miles gan by Pladda. If it swings to Westerly, I'll go North.

Whit wid the old salts do with a NW wind for that journey?

What ever happened to 'Brutains Hardy Sons'? Anyway, the first thing to do is scutch that over-rated piece of tupperware to fu...... (Further afield) and get yersel a more seaworthy vessel. Then you'll naw be worrying about whether to go for 'The Cock' or not. All you'll need to worry about is when will the ship's cat be up wae yer next cup of tea. If that's not an option, then leave on the Friday night, and hae yer tea on the way across, arriving before the 'Wee sar of wind' comes on yez.

Och ah damn nearly forgot, you'll have had yer tea!

What ever you do, jeest remember: 'Time & Tide waits for no man,' especially if yer in a yat!

[morenish]

a wee warnin tickety if you can smell slurry on yer bow, heave too! yer far ower close to my field and if ye end up parkin her on my fence i'll have to charge ye storage till ye get her away as well as the repair of the fence, remember also mrs morenish's fencing rates are far higher than gus's.
you maybe better pray for a northwest wind as this will help you steer of trouble.

[jdcarra]

The crew of the guid shup Ticketty Boo! have been waatchin the weather forecasts with great interest over the past few days. Acording to yon UK Windmap folks, we're looking at a Nor'Westerly for Setturday.
I was thinking with the wind being that way, and me sailing from Ardrossan, I'd have an easier and mair sheltered passage going South of Arran? The straight line journey is 31 miles gan by the Cock and 33 miles gan by Pladda. If it swings to Westerly, I'll go North.

Whit wid the old salts do with a NW wind for that journey?

Well Ticketty Boo, the big day is just round the corner and if ye hae the wind that is blowin here at ma hoose this morn tomorra morn ye can unbatten the hatches and throw oot ah the holiday gear and don't forget the wanes, and hae a wee sombre drive doon tae the wee village.

But then, yer holiday wudna be the same withoot yer pride and joy, so ah hope there is a wee lull in that puff oh wind for a safe journey.

A'll just post a wee pic oh yer vessel (knowin ye be a master mariner) so as folks can keep a eye oot incase ye get lost.

We'll also keep radio carradale on incase ye give us a blast, is it that darned channel you use? !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 666 i think

Anyway, catch ye later when ye reach land and put on dry socks. Bon voyage