Carradale

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Morenish ,Thets the best use by far thet I've heard o fur a lawyer in a lang lang time. Ahm richt gled thet yeve explained the soft soons o discharge Ahve bin heerin ower the past few years oan the aaf season ( an ther wis me thinkin thet the youth hid finally learned aboot the the silence o a 410 ! ) An as tae yer shrinkin overalls ---whit a pitty thet the Kintyre Fermers couldna hae jist hung in ther fur a few more years! they wid hae bin richt in profit!! Ach but thets jist time rinnin oan!

Mr B. End, you should contemplate hanging your head in shame, along with Mr Morenish. Lawyers like doctors are professional people, the salt of the earth and deserve to be treated with respect. Where would you be without a good lawyer? I accept that there may be isolated cases of rogue traders operating in the legal profession, but lets be honest, they are few and far between.

This reference to the 'rid astra', is it an anogram of Astrid or disastar? I realise that the spelling is far from correct, but the tone has been set by Mr Morenish.

What about old Annie, has she had her blood tested recently for type 3 bochan antibodies. Mr Pongal was hinting that she may be in standard isolation mid Pacific... To the best of my knowledge it is incurable. Yes Annie, be warned, once a Bochan, always a Bochan!

Here, Here Snoddy, well said! The only damn thing, is where do you have to go these days to find a good physician, never mind a trusty Notary Public? Poor Auld Morenish thinks that he's owned his house for the last 20 years, but wae the lawyers that the good people of this village have entrusted over the years, he may be the proud owners of the quills from his oldest hen's ring-piece! What a fly in the ointment that would be. The only snag, is that it won't be discovered until the reading of his last will and testament.

Morenish will need to be very careful when he's filling out the insurance proposal for his castle. When they ask if the house has been modified in any way, he's going to have to declare the installation of the furnace and the pit props under the bedroom. The loss adjusters will also be taking a dim view of the fearful logpile at the grand entrance, never mind the tradesman's entrance.

As for the pitchfork, its far too good for you Morenish. I've told your good lady before, a stout length of springy willow. She cannot miss either, with a target as big as Tormhor itself!

[Annie]

What about old Annie, has she had her blood tested recently for type 3 bochan antibodies. Mr Pongal was hinting that she may be in standard isolation mid Pacific... To the best of my knowledge it is incurable. Yes Annie, be warned, once a Bochan, always a Bochan!

Between the Bochan blood and the quarantine fer the Avian flu, ahm jees' nackered, eh!!!!!!

[Bitter End]

Dr Snoddy ---Hing ma heid? Ah wid far far sooner stert hingin lawyers aboot the village tae try an warn the young wans whit serpents they micht hae bin dealin wi or aboot tae deal wi! Ye wid be safer hingin a few innocent wans than lettin a crooked wan sneek by ! Noo a doctor is a very different animile . Ive niver had wan o thim dae me any herm tae ma knowledge ,an jist as long as it steys thet way Ah'll hae nae reason tae change ma mind! --- Good day tae yersell SIR.

[morenish]

now BE thats a very right wing attitude to take poor lawyers should be allowed a sporting chance like all the other vermin, is't that right snoddy?

now here bochan reading through your posts,i think your gi'en my wife a wee bit too much advice,what wi riggin grecian 200 winches and flexible switches.
advice is always welcome but no when its interfearin wi the work on the croft.
you should just keep your own heid doon an be a shinin exaple to us all!

as for insurance, me an the NFU have been mutually agreeable fur years now an bein responsible insurers they activly encourage properly fitted fireplaces, i would never use a company that was'nt reputable or wan that was too dear either, but i'm right glad i am well insured what wi JD threatening to cut the roof from the pickup an put a hose on me an you bochan wantin tae rig winches an ropes where's robert strang it's time he had a stern word wi ye's, obviously a case of too much wasted time talkin an no enough physical trainin.

[Bitter End]

Morenish Ah've hid a richt cant tae sterbord since wan o they buchers hit me wi wild sea an shifted the cargo. Aye a sportin chance ?-let thim swim the soond werrin a perr o Blue Circle Slippers!

[Annie]

"Kill all the lawyers!"

[Right Pongal]

Morenish Ah've hid a richt cant tae sterbord since wan o they buchers hit me wi wild sea an shifted the cargo. Aye a sportin chance ?-let thim swim the soond werrin a perr o Blue Circle Slippers!

Ach Bitter End, are ye naw jeest great the year. Mind thon Ealing Classic: 'The Brothers', where the bad fella had a herring pinned to his bunnet before he was tossed over the side wae a handful of ring-net corks under his oxters.

A sporting chance be god, the gannets were like exocet missiles homing in on a hot potato. Maybe we should draw up a list of contenders. It would be a fine spectacle for the Lifeboat day, and even a new 'slant' on the duck race. Maybe it could coincide wae the MOK Music Festival, and the Network Centre could do tatties and herrin!

Right, I'd better away before this gathers legs, arms, and everything else......

[Bitter End]

Well well now Pongal Ah dinna! but maybe Ah wis jist asleep whin John cried Dick wis rinnin the spools! or maybe Ah wis jist canoodlin wi a -----. Anywey Ah think that thet is jist a grand idea fur the 'Duck race ' an Ah hivnae missed Wan!! An Aye, Ah do hope thet this raises a damn site mair then erms an legs ---it micht jist raise the Bochan aff his Erse an git him tae post another picture o a daecent fushin boat!!!! -- Sumthin thet looks lik a boat , wi a wee bit o sheer, a wee bit o freeboard, wi crossed masts , an wi a lump o cotton net lyin at her stern, jist ready tae gang up the burn an bark her nets ( in Big Boab's tanks!).

[morenish]

[quote="Bitter End"--it micht jist raise the Bochan aff his Erse an git him tae post another picture o a daecent fushin boat!!!! -- Sumthin thet looks lik a boat , wi a wee bit o sheer, a wee bit o freeboard, wi crossed masts , an wi a lump o cotton net lyin at her stern, jist ready tae gang up the burn an bark her nets ( in Big Boab's tanks!).[/quote]

where did you get the idea that a bochan sat on his erse?
he's far too furtive for that, nearly alway sneeks aboot on all fours, jeest stops now an again to sniff the wind for trouble, older wans are easier spotted though by the shine off the top o thier heids

now now bitter friend whats wrong wi a nice wee fibregless cat?
no need for all yon paintin,
plenty room to live in and work on,
modern boats are definatly better lookin than yon old things that are no looked efter.
efter all i widna send mrs morenish oot tae work a horse because a horse hasny got the bit for attachin the pto shaft, or hydraulic arms tae work the loader, na,na keep lookin to the future it's where were going that matters efter all ye can steer where ye're goin no where ye've been.

as for a tatties an herrin night in the network centre i'm all for that esecially if i can sell ye tatties for it, that would mean i was makin money OOT a lawyer!

did you know lawyers always sew up the pockets on thier clothes?
they have no need of them
they jeest keep there hands warm in other folks's

[Bitter End]

Aye whit a grand idea -a gless fibre catamaran - Ah cin jist become a HOOLIGAN! -wi room tae live oan jist great- nae pentin ! even better!! But Ah fear thers wan in the village already!!! Ah dinna ever remember seein a durty lookin ringer -Maybe Ah jist missed it . An Ah aye thoucht thet horses hid a grand power take off, cause Ah've fallen ower the arse o a few! Noo , tae be makin money oot a lawyer thet wid be jist fine ! Ye wid gang doon in history--- fur Ah suspect ye wid be the furst!! Is the manny et the network no an accountant?? the only frien a fermer his goat left ---very creative they are! An Ah alweys thoucht thet -- a lawyer went hame in the efternoon cause he hid looked oot o his window in the moarnin!!

[Bitter End]

Well well now Morenish we've brought the whole thread tae a grindin halt -- or maybe ther all restin! Thets a grand seat yeve pit oan the hill fur keepin yer eye oan poor Mrs Morenish whin she's oot cuttin the gress, an here wis me thinkin thet it wis only yersell thet got drivin the tractor--

[morenish]

no,no bitter en she's a fine example of a crofting wife, great skills in tractor driving,graipin silage,forkin hay and anything else requiring muscle instead o brains, in fact if all women were similarly endowed the world would be a far more comfortable place....for the likes o me!
whit aboot yersel?
have ye ordered a cat yet?
a fine big catamaran wi 550 horses on either side ye could tow away all yon damn islands that get in yer road, in fact tow the damn things oot tae rockal an make a marine park for all yon parkies tae live on!
they could make it into a sustainable wee heaven for themselves an eat googa sh**e to thier hearts content.
mind you wi the huge number o folk wantin a marine park, 2 politicians and 3 environMENTALists,maybe rockal wid be big enough for them!

[Bitter End]

Now now Morenish, the first big cat Ah remember in the village wis in the Ocean Maid an Ahm sure it sank oan its bed an caused a richt dose o troubles! Ah do hiv an auld feline thet Ah've bin tryin tae enlarge fur years oan a fine blend o lithe an gleshins. the bucher takes aboot 8 punds a day but jist wilna git any bigger than a fair sized dug!! It noo weighs aboot 9 stane an is comparable tae a bloody big Labrador-- sometimes Ah jist wunner if the stramash aboot 'big cats ' , is jist itsell -----oot fur a donner! A fine striped beast oan wan flank, an jist pale broon oan the ither.
The bucher disappears fur weeks at a time ., an Ahm left wi wild pile o rotten fush ,which bein mashed Ah canna use it in the creel an Ah jist throw it oantae the taties, an the neebours are mutterin aboot me nae washin again!! As fur yer marine perk-- haulf o they yins in the big hoose in Edinburgh, an ther friens cud move oot tae it an Ah fur wan widna miss thim! Ah'll have tae hiv a wee blether wi you aboot this 'wife trainin!' soonds almost as tho you've got it sortit but Ah canna quite believe thet its thet easy! Wan thet listens an does? Very very unusual tae say the least!

[Bochan Mor]

Now now Morenish, the first big cat Ah remember in the village wis in the Ocean Maid an Ahm sure it sank oan its bed an caused a richt dose o troubles!

Aye Bitter, after you were turfed oot yer bunk, she went to Isle Oronsay on Skye, but ended up at the clams in Mississipi! I wonder who stemmed the quay wae the tripod? I expect it was a Sgianach or a Hearach! It most certainly couldn't have been a Crofter!!!!

[Bitter End]

Aye its yersell wi the guid photographs Bochan , Ye've bin awa thet lang its yersell thet could hae been tae the Mississippi!!