Carradale

[witchnettle]

thank you for your kind advice whips, i will definately be keeping my underwear tucked away out of sight from now on, you never know who is looking. I have no idea who these devils (Bochan, Morenish, Sanyanya etc) are either, so I'll be watching the neighbours with a wary eye from now on too. I know i'm not as old as them (the above mentioned gentlemen) but i have some years under my belt and they have taught me never to judge a book by its cover !!!!!! x

[Right Pongal]

Watch out for that guy Morenish though, sounds like he knows the contents of your underwear drawer intimately; either that or he is psychic.

I don't know anything aboot psychic, but psychotic............ well, thon White Witch is right, you shouldna judge a book by it's cover. All this talk aboot underware, and now what's beneath the belt, it's jeest far too much for a man at such a delicate stage in his life.

Thon Morenish and Bochan are rascals right enough ma lassie. God knows how many centuries they've seen between them, but I would think more than two. One of Morenish's tricks is to throw down one of his walking sticks and imitate a wan oared punt. He's as fly as the mischief, knowing damn fine that any decent soul will stop and assist him on his way. Before you know it, you become the crutch and well,, I needn't tell you any more.

The Bochan: Hmm, they say that he's like a 'Seagull' outboard wae a broken spring at the moment. Half choke and a bit of throttle, followed by one firm pull and he fires into life, but he makes damn all but bubbles, blue smoke and a hell of a racket. His prop's naw turning since he picked up an old bit of kelp at Portcrannaig, but bye goad, his transom and anchor stock are fair vibrating. Just watch his bilges as well, as they're full of dirty, oily water, and the diaphram on the gusher pump is perilously perished. He's needing beached for a week or two, so that the crew can get him cleaned up and Pongal.

Here, I'd better go, herself's coming doon for the Steradent, and I told her I was jeest going to clean oot the fire for the morn....

[Bochan Mor]

Ach Morenish, there was no need for you to wait for me to return to the village and respond to Auld Pongo's comparison. As you well know, I'm more like a Gardner engine:

Built to Last, Evenly balanced Power to Weight ratio, Frugal Slow-Burner with plenty of Stamina, a stout prop shaft with a heavily pitched propeller driven through a 4:1 reduction gearbox, and a well positioned bilge alarm switch.

Aye Pongal, it'll take more than a bit of auld kelp from the Pluck to Sunadale to affect the rev counter on this reliable workhorse.

[petewick]

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[morenish]

now bochan you know full well i couldny reply till you got back as we're the same person, thats why your built to last the only difference is that you have lost a bit of lagging off the top of the heat exchanger an i jeest have a wee bit discolouration.
however as we're the same person can i get the car this weekend?

[Bochan Mor]

now bochan you know full well i couldny reply till you got back as we're the same person, thats why your built to last the only difference is that you have lost a bit of lagging off the top of the heat exchanger an i jeest have a wee bit discolouration.
however as we're the same person can i get the car this weekend?

Ya damn rascal Morenish! You'll need to get up earlier in the morning to pull that one off. Despite the fact that you know where the keys are, the chances are, I'll be sleeping on the back seat anyway. No, I've told you already, your new company vehicle has blades underneath it, so you can make your way to Wellpark and drive to your hearts content......... That's if there is any grass left.

I see JDCarra has worked out where to stick his RAM into the Motherboard, so we can stand by for more of his excellent photographs.

I wonder if old Snoddy had anything to do wae this that I spotted on the internet earlier:


'In Pharmacology, all drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. For example, the trade name of Tylenol also has a generic name of Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also call Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of "cocktails", "highballs" and just a good old-fashioned "stiff drink". Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.' ...................................... Maybe

[morenish]

witchnettle,have you got a bochan lurking under yer bed?
he seems to be awfull clued up on potions?
ye better get a rowan for yer garden to ward him off or some kind of spell but in case that doesny work a stout hazel stick will always sufice!
however he seems to know a lot about that .......................er ...problem.

well,well thats another highland show over i wonder how many more there will be?
hardly a dairy coo at it
more and more horses, or more and more horse power!
where will it all end?
well of course the answer to that is that it never ends it just changes to what the younger generation call a great time, a great time to get rid of all the moanin old buggers and introduce new blood!
i think i nearly talked myself out of the croft there but ach i'll be here till the EC well runs dry and as long as you boys pay vat i'll get somthing oot oh it!
i better take this chance to thank you all for your not so kindly given support over the last year and look forward to more of your money in the next,
keep eatin,
cheers!

[witchnettle]

if bochan is under my bed, he'll be covered in dust, i'm not very good at hoovering the nooks and crannies, and i've got a whole gang of rowans in my garden, to keep the bad folks away. But strangely enough i'm looking for a Y shaped ash stick at the moment, about five foot high, can anyone help. Clean answers only please ...... x

[Sanyanya]

My father always packed his Y-shaped stick when we set off travelling. Many times he explained the art of water divining as we trudged from coast to coast. It was very much a dying art, even in those bygone days, and I dare say even more so now.

The hazel also had a magical, almost mythical quality, especially when see-sawed smoothly & rythmically across the finely tuned strings of a mellow fiddle.

It is unfortunate, but possibly opportunistic, that Witchnettle's mentioning of things below the belt, were quickly followed up by Bochan's subsequent tirade on pharmaceuticals. I think he must have been having a dig at poor Mr Morenish field again, having heard of the subject line of the plethora of spam that the subsidy harvester has been receiving of late. I have the funny feeling that the Bochan has perhaps engineered the delivery of the said Spam, but I suppose that I should also add the word allegedly.

Perhaps Dr Snoddy could comment on the suitability and efficacy of the aforementioned potions, with reference to semi-retired crofters. Should we lock up our daughters?

[Bitter End]

Sanyana --- withoot waitin fur any ither reply the answer is a DEFINITE yes ---- or maybe dependin on jist who yer dochter is --- NO !!!!!!!!!! YE must remembir thit thers mair oot there than jist the Bochan creepin aboot , an thim thet creeps cin also crawl, an sum cin staun oan ther oan hin legs --- an perhaps------

[Bochan Mor]

Talking of creepin and crawlin, did you notice that some bleggard had creeped into a gerden up the Ballymenach Road and spirited away a couple of coveted St George's Cross flags from a parked car. Somebody thought they'd seen them on Morenish's tractor when he last went out to help his wife up onto the seat. He was allegedly overheard saying to poor Mrs Morenish, that they would help to keep the clegs and midges at bay!

Anyway, it's about time that they were returned to the owner, because those wee souls returning from Germany are going to need all the support that they can get. Did I hear Morenish offering a bag of seasoned firewood and a stone and a half of Golden Wonders in exchange for information leading to the recovery of the said articles?

[dgraves]

Aye Morenish ,Thets the best use by far thet I've heard o fur a lawyer in a lang lang time. Ahm richt gled thet yeve explained the soft soons o discharge Ahve bin heerin ower the past few years oan the aaf season ( an ther wis me thinkin thet the youth hid finally learned aboot the the silence o a 410 ! ) An as tae yer shrinkin overalls ---whit a pitty thet the Kintyre Fermers couldna hae jist hung in ther fur a few more years! they wid hae bin richt in profit!! Ach but thets jist time rinnin oan!

Mr B. End, you should contemplate hanging your head in shame, along with Mr Morenish. Lawyers like doctors are professional people, the salt of the earth and deserve to be treated with respect. Where would you be without a good lawyer? I accept that there may be isolated cases of rogue traders operating in the legal profession, but lets be honest, they are few and far between.

Here, Here Snoddy, well said! The only damn thing, is where do you have to go these days to find a good physician, never mind a trusty Notary Public? Poor Auld Morenish thinks that he's owned his house for the last 20 years, but wae the lawyers that the good people of this village have entrusted over the years, he may be the proud owners of the quills from his oldest hen's ring-piece! What a fly in the ointment that would be. The only snag, is that it won't be discovered until the reading of his last will and testament.

Looks like I missed out on a whole section of Carradale fun while I was gone in May! I didn't read far enough back. You guys be nice...listen to Dr. Snoddy. After all, the girls will be newly minted attorneys. They won't even have kissed the magical chunk of the Stone of Scone that's embedded in Blarney Castle (which they fully intend to do on their way back home ) I'm not worried, though. They'll give y'all a run for your money

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Nooooo Dorian! Not the Blarney Stone! I've heard what the do on that, and if you knew you wouldn't want your lips there. Of course, that could be blarney itself, but enough of a mental picture that I would probably go ahead and pass on that one. Maybe the luck is not acquiring deadly germs from the millions of people who have passed before you

[Right Pongal]

Nooooo Dorian! Not the Blarney Stone! I've heard what the do on that, and if you knew you wouldn't want your lips there. Of course, that could be blarney itself, but enough of a mental picture that I would probably go ahead and pass on that one. Maybe the luck is not acquiring deadly germs from the millions of people who have passed before you

Everything must pass ma lassie, or so they say. Besides, you wouldna want to be stuck wae it for too long. Syrup of Figs is as good as you'll get. The caster oil and orange juice is jeest too severe, as Mrs Pongal can well advise. There was wan wummin in the village here, who went to the doctor as she was terribly constipated. Snoddy gave her the castor oil, but still nothing. Anyway, nine months later, it passed. 19 years later, and that wee sh*te has grown into a right big one.

Enough of that muck though, did you see JDCarra's fine, fine photos from the party for those young yins that were jeest reaching fifty? I don't know what it is about those reunion parties; but yet again, the youngest looking ones in attendance, seem to live in the village. At first I thought it was maybe playing wae hoses that was keeping them all youthful, but Wee Mairi Doodle was as young looking as any of them! Incidentally, did you notice that 'Hulk Hogan' was in amongst the crowd. He must have been the guest of honour.

Even JD himself wasn't looking half as owld as some of the poor souls that emerged from their cocoons for the shindig. Auld age doesna come alone though. Some of the more youthful souls from the village would have been feeling as jaded as Morenish this morning, after their expedition North of the Kintyre Peninsula to a barn dance at Killinochnoch Ferm.

The local constabulary were said to have been out wae lights and all sorts to warn drivers to look out for drunken Crofters lying asleep at the side of the dry-stane dykes.

The fermers in Kilmartin Glen weren't the only wans to be making the most of the summer weather though. Aye, you probably read about it on the net on your side of the Atlantic: Scotland's witches were all meeting in Glesga for a night to remember. I expect Witchnettle will be on wae her enchanting report later in the week. She's already been quoted as saying: 'It was more than spell-binding!' I'm naw sure what kind of event it was, but Morenish reported that she set off wae not even as much as a carrier bag, never mind a suitcase. Mind you, I suppose that you'd need hellish little to go dancing in the moonlight on Glesga Green!

Still no sign of her returning home wae a wizard yet, but maybe by the time we reach the winter equinox, her powers will have strengthened.

A few mackerel on the go here at the moment, if you can be bothered jigging wae feathers. Do you get many of them over in the States girls. I've never been over thon side of the pond, and I wasnae sure if the mackerel had either.

Anyway, over to the Post Office in the morning for the pension, and if the weather holds, I'll maybe make for Balfadyen wae ma bamboo and goat hair. I'm not sure if it's the smell or the texture, but the white tufts are splendid for attracting lythe out from in amongst the kelp.

[4th gen Suthen']

Hulk Hogan!! Very good right enough.......

I note the Southend contingent are looking young and fresh as ever.....one of them my cousin Margaret and I spoke to 3 of the others at the church today.