Carradale

[morenish]

aye clach air!

[Right Pongal]

Aye, Lifeboat day brought the usual plester of smoorachy rain. Jeest typical, following weeks of wild heat from one end of the peninsula to the other. Never mind, it seems that there's still a bit of heat North of the village, with a procession of unbidable collies slipping the leash and trotting up the centre of the tarmacadam to the North side of Sunadale. Just as well they canna ride bikes or row boats, or they'd be crossing from Pirnmill or from Tayinloan for that matter.

I see the goat has been highlighting the plague of scouders currently polluting the Kilbrannan Sound on his website. Mary G from Southend was saying that she thought it might be the midges that kept the Carradale folk young looking, but the truth is, it's the scouders. The scouders act like a natural botox, paralysing the facial muscles on contact. The effect only lasts about a week, but the old fishermen's wifes would get another application on a Friday when the next dose of dirty washing came ashore.

Ach, I shouldna really be letting these secrets out, lest they affect those in that business down in the town.

Going back to the heat and tarmacadam, poor Morenish will be damn glad that the weather has cooled a bit now. 50% of his flock would fall asleep on the molten tar, which would re-set by the morning. Morenish was then having to get his poor wife out her bed early in the morning to cut them free. A right sickener for him, having cultivated those fleeces over the previous 12 months, to have to leave them stuck to the road near the village hall. He would have been cheaper buying a fence!

[Beachcomber]

I see the goat has been highlighting the plague of scouders currently polluting the Kilbrannan Sound on his website. The scouders act like a natural botox, paralysing the facial muscles on contact.

Yer no wrong there, Pongal, but you forgot to mention the analgesic benefits available to the sufferers of piles from applying one to yer nether regions.

Are scouders available on an NHS prescription, do you know?

[Snoddy]

Yer no wrong there, Pongal, but you forgot to mention the analgesic benefits available to the sufferers of piles from applying one to yer nether regions.

Are scouders available on an NHS prescription, do you know?

Scouder therapy is not available to general practitioners in the context of the NHS. However, there are two consultantant scouderoligists on the peninsula, one in Carradale and the other in Tarbert. The waterwheel at the Village Hall in Carradale was used extensively as an operating table in the early 20th century. The main benefits being the spread achieved and the cooling effect when the wheel reached bottom dead centre. The Tarbert procedure was a little more primitive, utilising the villages favourite bird, the dooker, and a couple of empty fish boxes. The cooling cycle at the end of the procedure, was simply achieved by simply throwing the patient, posterior first into the harbour.

I am glad to confirm that I am neither of the black listed consultants.....

[general jack o'niell]

[Sanyanya]

Excuse me General Jack, but surely you would have realised by now, this village never really calms down. Usually a wee lull, is just the calm before the next storm. Believe you me, when you think that things cannot get any more bizzare, then they probably already have.

The wheel in the village hall was also the scene of a few high profile waxings. If you hear the Carradale fishermen talking about a waxing moon, it probably involves some poor unsuspecting character, who only borrowed a pheasant or two, doing a couple of revolutions that result in a new meaning for 'bare faced cheek!'

Never mind, it grows back thicker than ever.

[general jack o'niell]

[Right Pongal]

funny i thought the waxing moon was time for a discrete anchorage and an old paint tin heating on the oil stove in the fo'csle, with some wax and maybe a wee drap oh deisel to thin it a bit, then up on deck with the troosers doon and an old net needle to spread the concoction on the legs, paying close attention to the area around the top of the wellies which as you know is prone to nasty chaffing, and it doesn't grow back thicker, to this day i have no hair on my legs below that mid shin line, i suspect its also the original meaning of "the burning"

They must have had wild kidding aboard the Jasmine, when they persuaded you to drop your breeks and have your legs waxed. No Jack ma lad, there was no need for that. If you'd worn a pair of sea boots wae the sea boot socks in the right old style, you'd still have the hairs on yer legs to this day.

What aboot young Sweltered? I expect that he managed to hang onto his hair, him employed as a 'Quay Worker' before he emigrated to Alabama or wherever he is now?

[Sweltered]

funny i thought the waxing moon was time for a discrete anchorage and an old paint tin heating on the oil stove in the fo'csle, with some wax and maybe a wee drap oh deisel to thin it a bit, then up on deck with the troosers doon and an old net needle to spread the concoction on the legs, paying close attention to the area around the top of the wellies which as you know is prone to nasty chaffing, and it doesn't grow back thicker, to this day i have no hair on my legs below that mid shin line, i suspect its also the original meaning of "the burning"

They must have had wild kidding aboard the Jasmine, when they persuaded you to drop your breeks and have your legs waxed. No Jack ma lad, there was no need for that. If you'd worn a pair of sea boots wae the sea boot socks in the right old style, you'd still have the hairs on yer legs to this day.

What aboot young Sweltered? I expect that he managed to hang onto his hair, him employed as a 'Quay Worker' before he emigrated to Alabama or wherever he is now?

You're forgetting I had a brief career afloat, I was wonderfully kitted out by the "Chairman" on my departute from the coop, including a pair of FCTS seaboot socks. Don't know if my oilskins came out of the profits or off the head. Nicol always claimed he paid for them.
I still lost the hair on my legs to mid shin. Must had been the boots. Thankfully, all the hair grew back. The hair on my head was so glad they came back that they have begun the voyage south to see them and have have taken up residence in my ears nose and across my back in the meantime.

Wonderful thing the leg hair. Still there are so many waxing shops here, you would be forgiven if you thought you were in Brazil and not Florida.

[general jack o'niell]

[Bochan Mor]

Aye now, what was I saying Bitter End, oh aye, all this talk of the old barking tank at Waterfoot, here's one that I doubt you've seen before, as it's naw been purloined by any other site in the village as yet. No, I think I could safely say that this is a web exlcusive, and even new to Big Bob. I would think that there's only one copy of this yin, and it's not in his treasure chest!




Where the heck have you been hiding anyway? We haven't seen Morenish either since he got a hold of his new set of wheels.

[Right Pongal]

That's a braw photo right enough Bochan, wae three different families represented here. It was a damn disgrace, the way the white settlers smashed the tank to smithereens![/i]

[jdcarra]

That's a braw photo right enough Bochan, wae three different families represented here. It was a damn disgrace, the way the white settlers smashed the tank to smithereens![/i]

Come on chaps or lassies, gae us a clue to who they are fur ah us incomers ? As for the white settlers, dae they live naw far away fae the tank? Maybe we could throw them in tae the hole .

[Right Pongal]

Mmmm, I remember being described as a 'Johna' by the man in the centre, and that was just for gathering a few molluscs from the shore close to where he was helping to varnish his cousin's fine vessel. The man on the right had considerably less hair in the latter part of his life, but was also keen on the varnish.

The man on the left, well he started with the varnish, but graduated towards 'Tobacco Broon', but maybe that was due to all those years in the shadow of the cliffs at Waterfoot.

Damned if I can remember any of their names!

[Bochan Mor]

That's a braw photo right enough Bochan, wae three different families represented here. It was a damn disgrace, the way the white settlers smashed the tank to smithereens![/i]

Come on chaps or lassies, gae us a clue to who they are fur ah us incomers ? As for the white settlers, dae they live naw far away fae the tank? Maybe we could throw them in tae the hole .

Yer too late for that JD, they were thrown in the hole a long time ago. A fine spate in the burn, so they never came up for air until they crossed the sandbar. The tide was flooding, so despite the high volume of fresh Carra water, they hit the briny stuff doon about the salmon rock, along wae a plaster of scouders.

They were like a couple of drooned rats crawling up past the Studio and back into their own nest. I don't think they waited too long after that. Cann't think why!

I think this is where the church got the idea of the September Duck Race from, maybe someone could confirm that?