Carradale

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Morenish ma lad, your welll up on current affairs of the village. I thought that you'd be too busy bringing in the silage. (Did Sanyanya sherpen yer scythe) The eagle has landed with a bang and the village is crawling wae bears of all sorts this morning. The generators have been advertised on Ebay, so bargains will be available with early closing dates on the lot.

Every law enforcement agency you can think of, has descended on crofters quay, maybe even the environmental health. The bochans are spooting into the caves jeest incase they get envigled with them.

The witch hunt will already have started and Sanyanya will have been hooded and commissioned to build the 'Wicker Man' high above Tor Mor Dam

There's only wan man that can sort out this mess: Its time to blow the horn and summon the 'Devils Advocate!'

Hurricane Jeck spare us, and open communications with the dark fella?

[Hurricane Jeck]

Aye Morenish ma lad, your welll up on current affairs of the village. I thought that you'd be too busy bringing in the silage. (Did Sanyanya sherpen yer scythe) The eagle has landed with a bang and the village is crawling wae bears of all sorts this morning. The generators have been advertised on Ebay, so bargains will be available with early closing dates on the lot.

Every law enforcement agency you can think of, has descended on crofters quay, maybe even the environmental health. The bochans are spooting into the caves jeest incase they get envigled with them.

The witch hunt will already have started and Sanyanya will have been hooded and commissioned to build the 'Wicker Man' high above Tor Mor Dam

There's only wan man that can sort out this mess: Its time to blow the horn and summon the 'Devils Advocate!'

Hurricane Jeck spare us, and open communications with the dark fella?

Ah well now Bochan Mor, whatna Devil's Advocate do you have in mind? I've met a fair few doon the years from Tobermory to Timbuktu and I don't have much faith in any of them. As I said afore, when ye start meddlin' wi' Mither Nature somethin' bad is bound to happen. The echosounders wuz jeest the start of it aal, but I'm hearin' that they was feeshin' with the alextricity and that was whit brought the big helichopper doon on them. I'm tellin you' it's a sign from above right enough. The wulks for your lives Sunny Boys, before it's too late, but divna touch the oysters if you know whit's good for yez ........

[Hurricane Jeck]

can you ever imagine duigie reporting macfarlane for being drunk in charge of a puffer and then getting the skippers job when he got sacked?

As you say, Morenish. As you say.
The warld has become a more cynical place since me and the boys were in our prime. I'm surprised, mind, that things huv gone as far as you described. Was it in Carradale this atrocity took place? Some o' them wus aye a wee bit sleekit doon there .........................

[Bochan Mor]

Damn me Jeck, I realised tinkering with the native oysters was a hinging offence in bygone days, but I thought they would maybe commute it to community service these days.

As for the electric fishing, sure they have been doing it for years in the Gigha Soond. The cunning crofters were enticing the bivalves into the electromagnetic waves, where they would then snaffle them with their bonnie dridges. OK, so sometimes they got their teeth into more than they bargained for and the lights would flicker a bit in the big hoose and Ali would need to light a candle or two at the bar in the hotel, but it was jeest accepted. Now they're saying that since Gigha got the windmill, the clams have all but disappeared: damn all but starfish and old zip-up slippers now!

Like yoursel, I've had dealings with a few devilish advocates in my day as well, but I jeest daren't mention the dark one by name. You being a man of the world will understand fine, that despite their razor sherp minds, jeest how touchy they can be at times. You daren't get them raised! They're a dab hand at this litigation thing, and boy do they resonate to the sound of their own voices afore the Sheriff. I've seen him at work in the court in Campbeltown, and by the time he was feenished, the whitewashed walls had almost turned bleck and everyone in the public gallery wash shaking.

No, if you wont come doon fae your bridge or put through a link call for help, then the crofters will need to resort to the Weeker Man. I can almost smell the smoke!

[Hurricane Jeck]

Ach Bochan Mor ma boy, ah doot ye've got the wrang Jeck there if ye think I can communicate with the denizens o' the ither warld. Ah've got enough problems wi' my lumbago even in this sunny clime withoot fanooglin' wi' brigands from the depths o' hell. Come to think o' it are you no' more suited to the leks o' that yersel' ? Did the crofters no' used to call youz boys "wee elves o'hell?"

At my age, the only spuruts I'll be tanglin' wi' are the wans that are made in Brutain and come oot o' a gless bottle.

Aye, the crofters and the alextricity. There's a thing. Ah wonder if they've still got them droll wee plugs in Carradale? 6 times round the waarld and shipwrecked in places that iss not on the maps and I've neffer seen their likes anywhere else.

Ah, think masel', Sunny Boys, that it probably is time to send for the Weeker Man!

[4th gen Suthen']

I've read a' 15 pages of this Carradale stuff and I haena a clue hoot it's a' aboot............

Thank goodness I am 4th GS !!

[4th gen Suthen']

AND, I've just spent most of this lovely sunny S'then' day taking a caravan to the shore then setting up, tying doon and levelling the said van......the owner, a Glasgow friend from our early 70s youth offered me payment for my time.....I just looked at him yon wie!

No way would I take money, long term friendship and good will is worth faar merr than a few measly poun' an 'oor..........

Wud yeez dae that up in Carradale? aye, I'm sure you would.......country folk are a' the same..............most o' them anyway

[Hurricane Jeck]

I've read a' 15 pages of this Carradale stuff and I haena a clue hoot it's a' aboot............

Thank goodness I am 4th GS !!

I hope the chentleman doesn't mind me saying so, but if he's frae Soothen' there are probably guid historic reasons why he iss no' tweegin' the thing. In Terbert we had a saying that Kintyre stopped at Stewarton and then ye were in Little Ayrshire. Ah by Chove, after they had pullaged Bonnie Saddell Glen, all the Covenanters headed for Soothen' and began makin' Indian Love Calls to their cussins in Antrim instead o' trying to understand the indugenous population. Iss it any wonder that Bochan Mor and aul' Heidless cut short their holiday and headed up the Largieside? Now them boys up there are true Highlanders, every Man- jack o'them!

[4th gen Suthen']

Thank goodness I'm 4th Gen S'then' !!





And great grandson of the Low Kirk Manse furr bye...........

[4th gen Suthen']

AND! I heppen to know a fellow from your neck of the woods HJ, with a similar name, whose derilect roots are within sight of my hoose....

Right, bang in the heart of S'then' !!

[Hurricane Jeck]

AND! I heppen to know a fellow from your neck of the woods HJ, with a similar name, whose derilect roots are within sight of my hoose....

Right, bang in the heart of S'then' !!

Well, well. Are you tellin' me there were MacLachlan's in S'then?
They couldna ha'e been right MacLachlan's then or maybe they had been druven oot o' Terbert for the sheep stealin' ? Nefertheless, bad as their chenes may have been, I'm sure that they wuld have helped tae bring civilisation to thon chonnie-come-lately bunch o' carpetbaggers doon by

[Thewetman]

Aye, soothen - men in cooboy boots, checks an denim - the wuman in glesga yon Kinky boots really got me!

[oorly gourlay]

From what little sense I can make of the last 2 pages, it appears to me that there has been an "incident" involving either the constabulary, the excise or fishery protection or all 3 combined. As the bush telegraph hasn't reached the Wee Toon yet, how about giving us a clue

[Ticketty Boo!]

No way would I take money, long term friendship and good will is worth faar merr than a few measly poun' an 'oor..........

Wud yeez dae that up in Carradale? aye, I'm sure you would.......country folk are a' the same..............most o' them anyway

4th gen, I can personally vouch fer the chenerosity o' aal the folks in trumpton veelage. Ticketty Boo! hud a wee bit o' an aaltercation at Waaterfit last easter. She wusna in very fine trum at aal, at aal. An by chove, if Dougie wis here himsel' he'd tell ye that the Carradale folks turned oot in thur droves tae assist.
Man wis the Glesga Traffic Polis no insistin on the tight parking aal the wae up tae Dippen Bridge and as faar back as Walter Campbell's hoose efter that. I dae believe Neenie wis sellin tickets! It cost me a fair few pints o' the foamin pxie juice in the Glen that nicht, an some guid Brutish Spirits tae accompany thum tae. But I'd aalways rather be owed a favour than some paper poonds enyday.

[The Scouder]

From what little sense I can make of the last 2 pages, it appears to me that there has been an "incident" involving either the constabulary, the excise or fishery protection or all 3 combined. As the bush telegraph hasn't reached the Wee Toon yet, how about giving us a clue

Well Oorly, it's kind of tricky to say too much on here as men's liberties might be at stake, but imagine all the comibnations you have mentioned above, only WORSE!

Allegedlly someone was using a method of fishing for spoots that was too shocking to contemplate and apparently this was brought to the attention of the authorities by a public-spirited member of the community. Hence the helicopter raid with divers off the coast of Arran.

The upshot was that the men in tin helmets assumed that every boat in the village was at the same game, hence the dawn swoop on the harbour. Giant SWAT teams formed a ring of steel round the village and the only thing allowed out was the rolls for Stanley Watson's. Of course nothing else was found except a couple of dubious false faces and an old winkie in the bushes near the carpark.