Carradale

[general jack o'niell]

[Bochan Mor]

they most certainly were, funny thing is, nobody ever thinks where the name came from, most people think thats his name. but it was myself christened him his first day in dalintober, he accepted the name once he got over the shock of electric lights in the classroom and jotters and pencils and stuff.

Dear dear General Jeck, have you seen the size of the powerstation in the village? Well believeitornot, it was there longbefore you were a twinkle in M&N's eyes. I'm quitesure that your faither rode his motorrrbike past it on many'sanoccassion.

oh how we laughed at his funny foreign tongue!!!!

"are yi fond oh the juice of an orange?"

"fordanglia" "sportsjacket" "two fish suppers and another one please!" "screwdriver"

we used to get him to repeat those phrases and roll about laughing, then of course we went to the big school and met jondyand Zaro

Foreign language indeed, it was your paternal tongue, before your family was eaten by owls: 'Hoot!' and started eating fush instead of fish. Indeed the pupils of Dalintober were blessed the day the boys moved from Craigmore to the Witchburn and the village certainly lost one of its most notable characters with the flitting of, the now legendry, 'Big Bob' down among the heathens!

For kids portrayed as having a terrible handicap similar to the mythical 'Donkey's Ears of Macharioch', both the boys seemed to have managed very well in life. Once they had mastered the art of pronouncing seven as 'Seeven' and eleven as 'Eleeven', there was no holding them back.

Surely your naw laughing now?

[Right Pongal]

Aye Bochan, and didn't his auntie have a wile job understanding him when he came back to spend the summer in her shed. She didn't know what he was talking about when he said: 'I'm away out the back for a puushhh.' No, it must have been a shock to the young fella's system, moving from a gentile place as Pongal as here, doon to yon.

As the auld fishermen used to say: 'You need to watch the Toonies, they'd steal the eyes oot yer heid, and come back for your winkers!' No, you wouldna leave the focsle unlocked doon yonder. Come to think of it, you'd hardly consider leaving a ton of cotton netting sitting on your port quarter, as there were ones that would overhaul the net from end to end, just to purloin the leads.

No, at least young Boab had the steadying influence of a few months a year in the village to keep him on the straight and narrow. The general and the boys might have enjoyed the same, it may have given them a less jaundiced view on life...... ach maybe not!

[bubbly jock]

the art of pronouncing seven as 'Seeven' and eleven as 'Eleeven',

Speaking of Seeven and Eleeven, I heard the Carradale lawn beautician making an offer of that amount to the Tesco manager for the wee tractor in the front foyer . He's thinking of getting into the silage next year but doesn't want to start too big. I was a bit shocked to see his transport sitting in the disabled parking spot.

Anyway I'm off tae the bunk I've an early start the morrow. At Eleeven Meenitts past Seeven I'll be on the Glesca bus using the free travel card.

bubbly

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Bubbly!! Now how coincidental is it that we speak your name and there you are! I hope your post wasn't just a driveby. Good to see you.

[Bochan Mor]

the art of pronouncing seven as 'Seeven' and eleven as 'Eleeven',

Speaking of Seeven and Eleeven, I heard the Carradale lawn beautician making an offer of that amount to the Tesco manager for the wee tractor in the front foyer . He's thinking of getting into the silage next year but doesn't want to start too big. I was a bit shocked to see his transport sitting in the disabled parking spot.

Anyway I'm off tae the bunk I've an early start the morrow. At Eleeven Meenitts past Seeven I'll be on the Glesca bus using the free travel card.

bubbly

You're forgetting bubbly, that some people have diplomatic immunity when it comes to parking. When you're a public-spirited, voluntary member of an emergency service, there has to be some perk available to hold you in position, and if pole position at the doors of Tesco is enough to do it, then it's surely a small price for the public at large to pay. At the end of the day, we cann't really afford to have these people out of the village any longer than necessary.

The question is: If there was a fire aboard a yacht off Torrisdale, which hat would he be wearing?

P.S. Enjoy yer day in Glesga. I expect you're heading for Slaters for a new Sportsjecket for the big weekend wedding...

[general jack o'niell]

[Bochan Mor]

Keep clear of the East Coast of Kintyre today. The Trumpton Riot was just a practice run for the main event today, the biggest 'Bun Fight' in creation at the Village Hall in Carradale.

Further Sooth at Peninver, another young couple jumped over the broom in the village hall there. Witchnettle will be dancing naked in all the fields on her way North tonight, so stand by!

[Right Pongal]

By Jove boys, I think I've seen it all now. Morenish passed yesterday, riding aloft his big tractor, wearing C. Effie's bib & brace. He's had a set of large paddle wheels like the Waverley's fitted onto the rear wheels, a set of old water-skis from doon the shore road and is said to be contemplating a solo crossing of the Atlantic in his shiny, red, pride and joy.

He was overheard bragging in the Crubhan that the immigration rules for Canada are more relaxed if you arrive under your own steam, so he's had her rigged for the semi-amphibious crossing and is now looking for sponsorship.

What about the Huge Trousers Band? Not only Relevant, but would fit in nicely with his oversized overclothes!

Mrs Morenish is said to be having absolutely nothing to do with his nonsense, and has relieved the moths in his wallet of a scatter of pounds to purchase the airline ticket for herself.

Will he ever make it and will the poor workhorse look half as Pongal when it reaches the distant shores?

[morenish]

now pongal those bib and brace are mine no jeans, and i'll have you know they are damnt expensive from mr martins booteek.

as for the tractor i'm sure that the new coat of paint will not quite make her waterproof enough for the north atlantic in september, but thats only whit i read in a book maybe you's that have been at the fushin know better.
see carradale, see rumers, the canadian imigration laws are only more relaxed to quality people, it's naethin to do wi arrivin under yer own steam or deisel or even in yer own submarine!
but wi the hervest in full swing ower there another tractor will always be welcome, as long as they've a field big enough to get her turned.

as for funding for the adventure, it is all in hand, i only had to fight off a few kids at the money scramble at the big bunfight at the weekend and all was secure, a few stabs at the grun wi the silage graip soon had them keepin clear!
an the man from portrigh has offered me a diversification grant to break into the north american contracting buisness, ach the world if full of oppertunity!
i had to add in the cost of a new bunnet though as health&safety insisted i should protect the bald patch from the prairi sun, my neebour is organising a course on how to put it on in a swimming pool in case it blows off, he also offered to put me on a radio course but my tractor has a cd player so theres no need.

[jdcarra]

Keep clear of the East Coast of Kintyre today. The Trumpton Riot was just a practice run for the main event today, the biggest 'Bun Fight' in creation at the Village Hall in Carradale.

Could it be this Bun?

[general jack o'niell]

[Iron Brew]

You're right where did his hair go.

[Captain Codpiece]

the fella in the middle looks familiar, but it canna be him? the boy i knew had long flowing blond locks

I think you'll find that that is the lovely Angela.

[Dr Dog]

so wha happened at the footy last night ???