Carradale

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Deny it all you like!

Postby Sanyanya » Fri Jun 24, 2005 9:45 pm

There's no point in denying anything in this village. It certainly never got me anywhere. The things I've denied that have fallen on deaf ears are naw worth mentioning.

No, infact, the more you deny them, the more folk will believe that ye did them. So your much better saying nothing at all. As a wise man once said to me: 'Tell them nothing!' and thats jeest the way its been for years.

I never touched the bantams, potatoes, herring, Jean's coal, gas bottles, diesel from the tank at the back of the yerd at the quay, spanners from the workshop, tins from the lockers doon the focsles, turnips from the fields, tax disk from the old jallopy, bags of whelks from the hall, lobsters from the keeps, Izal medicated from the clubhoose, nets from the car-park, post-cerds and the 'Wee Bell' from Campbells tearoom, sausages from the butcher's, fags from the machine in the public bar, kegs of Tenants Lager from the back of the Crubhan, anthracite from the bake-hoose, eggs from Achnasavil, strawberries and apples from the 'BigHoose', liquorice from the Bungalow Tearoom, lollies from Dick's counter, chopped logs from the forestry road, pheasants from Dippen Brae, sand from Torrisdale beach, two stroke oil for the Seagulls at Port na Cuil, prize leeks from Tormor, curly Kale from Woodside boxes of chocolate limes from the Filshill van and most certainly not ten and a half pun bullies still covered in lice and wrapped in plastic from anyones freezer.

But do the buggars listen: Damn the bit!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oops: :evil: :twisted: :shock:
Strip the Willow was a trade long before the devil turned it into a dance!

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Postby The Heidless Horseman » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:00 am

Aye, Sanyanya, in denial as usual! Some things never change.
Mind you, if I had a heid I would wear a hat and take it off to you.
How you managed to persuade those Irish boys that I was sitting on Shergar's grand-sire I will never know. One minute I was minding my own business hiding the flags on the golf course, next thing I remember is waking up in Ireland. Let me tell you it is a long way to Tipperary.

Finally got back today and it seems I've missed all the action. Helicopters, police launches, divers, and even electrified spoots! Then I heard that there was a meeting in the hall where the Police were ordered to leave by a well-respected member of the fishing community, and appartently they went! Along with the Chair of the Community Council, Strathclyde's finest were despatched into the night with a flea in their ear. Of course, one thing you can be certain of in Trumpton is that anarchy will always reign and apparantly there then followed an unseemly incident with a brigand who was obviously there on false pretences and refused to leave the hall. Five days later and the wrangling continues. Watch this space.

Aside from all that nonsense, it's great to back in the village - just killing some time before I go for a wee canter to The Glen and back. Maybe notch up a couple of screams when the pubs close to get in training for the tourist season. Apparently there's a new thing going on in Sally's Walk with this Goat fellow, so I'm looking forward to having some scatalogical sport next time the moon is full.

As for the Board itself, there appears to be a few changes. I'm sorry I missed old Jeck when he checked in, and the Bochan is much the same as usual, but I see poor Morenish has been outed. Bubbly seems to have acquired a couple of anagrams, but that isn't all is it bubbly? Some days if you didn't know any better you would swear that he/she was having wild hormonal swings. In fact sometimes when you read the postings you could almost swear that there are two different people writing it depending on the shift patterns. As for The Scouder, he's slopping about as usual but surely he should be a lot more venomous at this time of year. The Wet Man seems to have retreated to the rock pools of Muscadale after some pretty savage checking from bubbly (and laterally the bochan.) Still, he's an old man now and not very supple by the look of him. If you're reading this Wet Man, better stay indoors for a while don't you think?

I see we finally woke 'em up in Southend, or at least we roused one fermer from his slumber, but it looks as if he is ploughing a lonely furrow down there. The tumbleweeds are still blowing.

Then we have the new kid on the block, General Jack, would-be shock-jock of the parish. Of course beneath that hat beats the heart and mind of a pedigree crofter. Whether he likes it or not he belongs on this thread as well with the rest of us crazies.

Good night and joy be with you all!
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Postby GarySutherland » Sat Jun 25, 2005 10:35 am

Heheh, well if you're a good man with a shovel or mixing cement then I'd welcome a hand.

Cheers
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Postby Sanyanya » Sat Jun 25, 2005 12:19 pm

The Heidless Horseman wrote:Aye, Sanyanya, in denial as usual! Some things never change.
Mind you, if I had a heid I would wear a hat and take it off to you.
How you managed to persuade those Irish boys that I was sitting on Shergar's grand-sire I will never know. One minute I was minding my own business hiding the flags on the golf course, next thing I remember is waking up in Ireland. Let me tell you it is a long way to Tipperary.

Finally got back today and it seems I've missed all the action. Helicopters, police launches, divers, and even electrified spoots! Then I heard that there was a meeting in the hall where the Police were ordered to leave by a well-respected member of the fishing community, and appartently they went! Along with the Chair of the Community Council, Strathclyde's finest were despatched into the night with a flea in their ear. Of course, one thing you can be certain of in Trumpton is that anarchy will always reign and apparantly there then followed an unseemly incident with a brigand who was obviously there on false pretences and refused to leave the hall. Five days later and the wrangling continues. Watch this space.



What's heid the ball drizzling on about this time. He's as bad as the Deer Horn. Tells the story how he sees it and to heck with what everyone else thinks, sees or hears.

I was hoping that you'd end up the same way as Shergar, but maybe the butcher and the baker refused to make that pie.
Strip the Willow was a trade long before the devil turned it into a dance!

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Postby The Scouder » Sat Jun 25, 2005 5:40 pm

GarySutherland wrote:Heheh, well if you're a good man with a shovel or mixing cement then I'd welcome a hand.

Cheers
Gary


Garry is the cement not a bit extreme? Would have thought you could just bury it! :wink:
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Postby Thewetman » Sat Jun 25, 2005 9:52 pm

Here, Sanyanya, if there’s any drizzling to be done. Say no more!

You need to take a leaf out of Bubbly Jocks book, what a reformed character he's become since I took him under my tutelage. I can see you are going to be a bigger challenge.

Now, let me explain, however much the horseman might seem to be a heidless horseman - he is not - more a akin to an older but stunted Johnny Vagas, without the manners and dress sense. and with a heid like a turnip, only flatter and no horse.

Bare this in mind; keep a fingertip on reality and you’ll no go wrong.

Heidless - when I've reformed Sanyanya, I’m coming for you!
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gone

Postby bubbly jock » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:36 am

okay
Last edited by bubbly jock on Tue Jul 05, 2005 10:57 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby The Heidless Horseman » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:44 am

Thewetman wrote:Heidless - when I've reformed Sanyanya, I’m coming for you!


Reform Sanyanya? Some of HM's finest institutions have failed on that account over the past 35 years. It would be easier for you to get into a Southend lap dancing bar unnoticed..............

As for coming for me, I would like to think that even at 350 years old I could still show an old josser like you a clean pair of heels.

Sorry to say it Wet Man, but you're starting to act like someone who has had a nasty tap on the head. Your new brand of self-righteous Calvinism sits uncomfortably with your all too shady past. You might have put the putchach on poor old bubbly (who has now outed himself/herself as a Cliff Richard fan and was spotted wearing a T-shirt with the legend "we are bubbly jock" at the Lifeboat Day) but take fair warning from me old timer. If you as much as cross my path, you will rapidly discover what kind of force you are dealing with here. Now away you go and stand in the Naughty Corner........... :evil:
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Reformation

Postby Sanyanya » Sun Jun 26, 2005 9:55 am

Thewetman wrote:Here, Sanyanya, if there’s any drizzling to be done. Say no more!

You need to take a leaf out of Bubbly Jocks book, what a reformed character he's become since I took him under my tutelage. I can see you are going to be a bigger challenge.

Now, let me explain, however much the horseman might seem to be a heidless horseman - he is not - more a akin to an older but stunted Johnny Vagas, without the manners and dress sense. and with a heid like a turnip, only flatter and no horse.

Bare this in mind; keep a fingertip on reality and you’ll no go wrong.

Heidless - when I've reformed Sanyanya, I’m coming for you!


I would say that you must be a wee bit damp behind the ears if you think that you've reformed our bubbly. Seems like the same old bubbly to me: still able to send a few ripples across your stagnant rockpool. You've got about as much chance of reforming me as the horseman has of ever finding a replacement for his potted heid.

Its time for you to go back to the Largieside, change yer nappy and carry on harrowing what someone else has ploughed!
Strip the Willow was a trade long before the devil turned it into a dance!

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Postby The Scouder » Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:46 am

bubbly jock wrote:Theres only wan bubbly jock and wan heid and by the way I think I am the only wan on here who's naw crazy. bubbly


Methinks the turkey protesteth too much!
Besides if you have to use a public forum to tell the world you're not crazy..............
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scouder

Postby bubbly jock » Sun Jun 26, 2005 12:07 pm

Suit yersell you slithery git. I usually do. I hope you get washed up on the dhorlin today. Nice bright sun and a drying wind You'll naw even be fit for the rats nightly foray across at low tide. :D :D

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Re: scouder

Postby The Scouder » Sun Jun 26, 2005 5:56 pm

bubbly jock wrote:Suit yersell you slithery git. I usually do. I hope you get washed up on the dhorlin today. Nice bright sun and a drying wind You'll naw even be fit for the rats nightly foray across at low tide. :D :D

bubbly


Sorry to disappoint Feather-Brain, but I'm operating in waters to the North this fine day. Mind you, I'd rather be a slithery git than a turkey, one of the stupidest creatures on earth by all accounts. Never mind, soon be Christmas, eh? That'll put you out of your misery. In the meantime, it would probably make your last few months more bearable if you could persuade a vet to transplant your giblets from your gizzard to somewhere more comfortable. Pass the cranberry sauce...... :twisted:
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Postby 4th gen Suthen' » Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:50 pm

yez urr a' droll !! :?

mind you, pretty entertaining as well..........and informative for bye.

Just recently beginning to hear about this rats across the Dhorlin thing...fact, fiction or myth?.............depends who you ask of course....

And Wetman...tell me about the original Wetman.......
I dont like there to be Kintyre tales and stories I dont know about.

An' hoot aboot Spring Heeled Jack in the toon?
Emdy know about him.........related to Jumpin' Jack Flash? :roll: again, depends who you listen to.....

But I've been working out in the sun all day so might just be havoring wae the mild sunstroke.......

Bubbly Jock, avert yer eyes, I know you wont like this, it should be kept to PMs..... :wink: but I was mixing conrete...by hand! coz the diesel cement mixer would not start, then laying it then cutting my 1/4 acre lawn and noo a coo is calving, I'm a' that wile worried wye.....wont come back on and give a progress report or BJ will go BEErzerk!!
Last edited by 4th gen Suthen' on Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Thewetman » Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:50 pm

Careful Scouder with your venomous talk,
your going to ruin all my hard work with bubbly jock,
anymore excitement and he'll explode,
into another psychotic episode,
of gobbling, preening and strutting again,
his fingergrip on reality on the wane.
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Postby Bobbly Juck » Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:44 pm

Thewetman wrote:Careful Scouder with your venomous talk,
your going to ruin all my hard work with bubbly jock,
anymore excitement and he'll explode,
into another psychotic episode,
of gobbling, preening and strutting again,
his fingergrip on reality on the wane.


Ye gads!
Muscadale Rapping .................is there no end to the Wet Man's talents?
4th Gen - it's all in The Tales!
There's nae water under the bridge!
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