Carradale

[dgraves]

I enjoyed it the second time around.. I needed the practice.

You go, Annie!!

[bubbly jock]

Oh Annie hen, could you post that again?

I never quite got it the last 300,000 times you mentioned it. I know it was flory something or other.

bubbly

[dgraves]

Oh Annie hen, could you post that again?

I never quite got it the last 300,000 times you mentioned it. I know it was flory something or other.

bubbly

At 300,001 times even I'll be fluent in Scottish.

[bubbly jock]

Dorian,

This is an old ditty sung to the tune of “Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding through the Glen. (Copyright applies)


Besides the Cross are all the bands
From alleys, closes, streets and lands
There’s folks from Greenland and Gartgrillan
Carradale, Clachan, Davaar and the Shieling
From Calliburn and Ballywilline
Droves from Kilmahoe, Peninver
Smerby and the Rhoin
Drumlemble and Drumore
The Lossit, Pans and Auchinhoan
The Learside and the Largieside
They all come by the score
To see the wan the traders have on loan

Trembling and shivering the man in tights.
Has jeest arrived to turn on the Wee Toon Xmas lights.

bubbly

[Annie]

That is the second time this week. I guess that is what the 10 hour difference between Scotland and Hawaii does fer ya!

Geez Snod, dye still make hoose calls??

Maybe I am turning into a Hawaiian Bochan - hahaha!!!!

Oh Annie hen, could you post that again?

I never quite got it the last 300,000 times you mentioned it. I know it was flory something or other.

bubbly

I will post it again, some time next week. Tune in! Same Hawaiian channel, same Hawaiian time!

ALOHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

[dgraves]

Dorian,

This is an old ditty sung to the tune of “Robin Hood, Robin Hood riding through the Glen. (Copyright applies)


Besides the Cross are all the bands
From alleys, closes, streets and lands
There’s folks from Greenland and Gartgrillan
Carradale, Clachan, Davaar and the Shieling
From Calliburn and Ballywilline
Droves from Kilmahoe, Peninver
Smerby and the Rhoin
Drumlemble and Drumore
The Lossit, Pans and Auchinhoan
The Learside and the Largieside
They all come by the score
To see the wan the traders have on loan

Trembling and shivering the man in tights.
Has jeest arrived to turn on the Wee Toon Xmas lights.

bubbly

Very good, Bubbly ... sherwood love to see that!!

[Bochan Mor]

What fearful weather. There will be a few hungry mooths over the next week or two if the boys don't get a wee slant tae get their ends away. Even Morenish and the fermers must be scunnered wae all this rain water that's leaving their fields partially submerged.

I saw Sanyanya at the doctors the other day, wae terrible bruises on his fingers. I thought that perhaps the gamekeeper had subjected him to a punishment beating of sorts. However, it turns out that he spent the week pickling beetroots for Morenish, who's getting ready to do his Santa Claus around his auld aunties.

They say that god loves a trier and I have to hand it to Morenish. He knows damn well that if he spends £4 on vinegar and sugar, that his return will be much greater. Some years though, all he gets back are trays of overbaked shortbread and boxes of sun-yellowed linen handerchiefs.

Sanyanya on the otherhand is not too worried about Christmas, focussing his attention on the glasses of sherry and pale ale that will come his way for delivering seasoned firewood around the auld yins doors at New Year. What he hasn't realised is that Morenish stamped a barcode on each and every one of his plocks and will be inspecting the brass log-boxes during his first footing escapades in the weeks to come.

That's some amount of concrete that's being poured into the water down at the quay. There'll naw be a fish to be had for miles around. Ach, I'd better head off to ma scratcher, as it's damn near tomorrow and I'm still catching up on yesterdays tales of woe!

[Right Pongal]

Aw Gaads! The thought of all those old folk eating beetroot that's been prepared by Sanyanya is enough to gie anyone the boonyach. You might as well send him over to the bakehoose and let him kneed the dough for tomorrow's rolls or hand mix the ingredients for the complimentary new year sultana cake.

Mind you, Morenish could do with giving Sanyanya some of those unwanted hankies, as thon green snotter that 's hanging from his left nostril is starting to look like a fang. Was it naw jeest a couple of months ago that he was over at the surgery wae purple feet. Seems that he was up at the Ballymeanach bramble tunnels, tramping the first crop for a wine trial. Nobody told him that it wasn't the same as picking the rasps for the jam and the dirty beggar peeshed onto the top of the fruit to increase the weight. Well there was no chance of anyone tasting it after that, and by all accounts it's now being used as a cleaning material up at Wellpark.

What about the price of prawns. I thought that the general would have had something to say about Youngs sending them over to Asia to have them peeled, before bringing them back here to be eaten. Mind you, all those peels that the General's scoffing these days has left him with multi personalities, so he's naw sure whoot day it is, never mind who he is.

[morenish]

naw, naw boys jeest you enjoy yer log fires, its christmas after all

i'll no be here this newyear either so if ony o ye's feel like keepin a wee dram for me on my return ah'll no argue.

no i'm off to sunny newzealand to see the carradale natives that live there, i think theres more crofters there than whats in the village nowadays.
however mrs morenish is insisting on accompanying me so sanyanya has kindly agreed to feed the beasts while we're away, now i'd be gratfull if you boys could keep an eye on him an make sure he doesna get strong drink or the next time the beasts see silage will be when i get back in march!

however he has been warned that if he does fall by the wayside the courts will have no option but to jail him for animal cruelty as he has the contract to do the job to the best of his sober ability.
now bochan i have left sanyanya a dreel o turnips for his own use so you keep yer thievin hands off them, the excuse " i need them to make spare hieds for the hiedless horseman" will cut no ice this time.
an remember what happened the llast time you stole firewood......"oh it's for my poor sister in law".....aye then whos fire gave a big bang when the carfully concealed 12 bore cartridge exploded??
i'm now getting very nervouse about this trip, not the 24 hours up in the air but the fact that we're leavin an unattended bochan back in the village............unless of course your away for the festivities yersel?
did ye's hear aboot him doon in england?
a border riever came up an captured wan o his daughters, so the bochan loaded up the black shadow,an took off over the border after them, wi the ither yins surrounded the fellas hoos
he chapped on the door and gave the fella enough money to keep her for another 6 months, now thats devooooooooooshun for ye!

[Annie]

Hoots the price o' prawns got tae dae wae anything??????????????

[Snoddy]

no i'm off to sunny newzealand to see the carradale natives that live there, i think theres more crofters there than whats in the village nowadays.
however mrs morenish is insisting on accompanying me so sanyanya has kindly agreed to feed the beasts while we're away, now i'd be gratfull if you boys could keep an eye on him an make sure he doesna get strong drink or the next time the beasts see silage will be when i get back in march!

Goodness gracious me Morenish, another inter-continental holiday so soon. Can we safely assume that the grants have been good on the farm this year? Word had already reached the wating room that you were hiring Sanyanya as your caretaker and the invitations to the Hogmanay party have already been distributed. Hopefully you will have time to lift the carpets before you head into the rising sun, as replacing them on return from your travels will be an unwelcome expense before the next Grant year begins.

Talking of the rising sun, if you intend to fly via the far east, I would advise you to visit the surgery for boosters for rabies, yellow fever and a supply of anti malarial tablets (The syringe is cooling in the fridge as we speak) to ensure that you don't pass any of these onto your friends down under.

I am sure that I don't need to remind you to be mindful of the risk of DVT on such long haul flights. Ensure that you are wearing Mrs Morenish's best winter stockings and periodically recline your seat and raise your feet above the level of your head and pedal 30 cycles in each direction (For the safety and comfort of the other passengers, please keep your wellington boots firmly attached to your legs). Avoid tea, coffee and alchohol and opt for mineral water or fruit juices instead.

You may also have to break the habit of a lifetime and periodically rise from your posterior and stretch your legs and back. Don't get too stressed about this, as no one will steal your chair.

Finally, before I wish you a peaceful and happy trip, can I also ask you to arrange a wider ranging larder for poor Sanyanya, as I fear that a diet of nothing but turnips and pale ale, may result in an increasee of ill winds that will certainly blow no good!

[morenish]

thanks for the concern snoddy but i'm going via california as i have to keep a business appointment wi a nevadan,chicken ranc....croft i have shares in, so ehhhhh a wee jab o penicilin would maybe no go amis eh?
i take it the usual fee will apply?
i'll leave the key to room 43 at reception
now as ye know, mrs morenish is a terrible nervous flyer, an she's wonderin if you have any o them nerve pills left?
i know yer needin a lot o them yersel the now, what with the threat o an epidemic of nationalism breaking out in may, it must be an awful worry for ye!?
och a'dinna worry aboot the DVT, whsiky keeps it at bay,i'll smuggle two bottles aboard doon the legs o ma wellies i always use them for contraband on those kinda trips as theres no a customs man built that'll go near them.
as for sanyayas diet, it doesna worry me.................

[Bochan Mor]

Now Morenish, you need to watch what your saying to old Snoddery regarding his Tory leanings. He could cut you off in your prime. Just imagine the waste of money the ranch would be without your supply of blue heaven from our dedicated quack.

Besides, by your own confession, you have already filled New Zealand up with little Morenish's, so is it the done thing to be germinating in Nevada as well. The 'keep for 6 months' was a safety net: If I had left enough for a year, it would have been done in 6 months, or maybe sooner.

I pity the poor souls sitting beside you in the plane. No, I'm not talking about the elbow room (Your big elbows in their faces), but the noxious gases leaking past the gaskets around your calves. The biggest surprise is that those boots haven't perished a long time ago. Like your ears, the must have been well vulcanised!!

Make sure that your log on with your kiwi address and post some photos of the natives.

[Annie]

morenish Posted: Fri Dec 08, 2006 10:16 am Post subject:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

thanks for the concern snoddy but i'm going via california as i have to keep a business appointment wi a nevadan,chicken ranc....croft i have shares in, so ehhhhh a wee jab o penicilin would maybe no go amis eh?

Now Morenish, you be certain to be safe now. Them there Chicken Ranch girls might keep ye fer ransome! Being the handsome Scotsman you are! Bubble bath being in order!!!

[Snoddy]

Ah hem, I have an announcement to make regarding the recent press articles relating to the confusion between Zyban and Viagra.

Those people prescribed viagra can rest easy, safe in the knowledge that they have the correct dose of the correct substance in their medicine cabinet, or flight bag in the case of Mr Morenish.

However, a small proportion of smokers who were prescribed Zyban, will only rest easy sleeping on their backs, but heaven help their wives, who will no doubt have to endure endless nights of snoring, in between scud missile attacks.

I can only apologize profusely on behalf of the local drug administration group. I was not even aware that this had involved any of my patients until the recent lifting of the curtain on the pantomime 'Geronimo' at the village hall. The Hydro Electric shop in the town is said to have a comprehensive range of lady shaves and it may be prudent to place your order early, so that there is something useful in the stockings on Christmas morning.