Carradale

[Sweltered]

I f you knew the derivative for quaint, then perhaps you'd change your mind

[Pete Reek]

Ah see yir at hame in Carradale the day Mr Morenish, since yiv posted on here earlier.

Ah jeest thought ah should ask yi aboot yir other big hoose a wheen o miles away frae here. Ah had the need tae dae a bit o trevellin jeest recently an came on yir grett big hoose jeest a wheen o miles fae Killin.

Sittin there at the side o the rodd is this hoorafa big establishment wi a big yella sign declaring tae the whole world that its caad "Morenish Mews"
Ah reversed back as a wantit tae see if yi wur in residence, shall we say. A wumming was walking on the rodd an ah thought she wid know hoot wis gan on. Says I, "Madam, I'm here for tae see Mr Morenish, is he aboot?"
The only boot yool get is in yir ar$e if yi dont skeedaddle oot o here she says.
She wis quite cross, so ah expect hur garter elastic wis too tight.
She wusna anythin tae dae wi the hoose it turns oot, jeest a crabbit wumming oot fur a wak that thought I wis uptae nae good.
So hoot am wunnerin is, is it yoors or naw?

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Petereek, I was passing there myself this week. Did you see the wee green tractor in Morenish Farm and the other big yella sign at Morenish Self Catering, stating that it was ideal for couples, trick cyclists and hill walkers? I stopped in at the Ben Lawers Hotel and spotted the wanted poster behind the bar.

WANTED: Barely Alive!

Apparently he was one of a gang that jumped the bar and raided the kitchens, running off with the entire contents of the larder.

Folks are saying that he's still at this bushwhacking down here, with him and Sanyanya raiding sculleries the length and breadth of the village to stock the fridges over the road.


Wild work!

[morenish]

damn spies everywhere, this bloody right to roam legislation must be repealed, i'll need to hae a wee word wi wee eck aboot it, there's ower many o you heathen getting to travel aboot the land when you's should be workin.
i've had a word wi the heid gamey an if he see ony o you lot sneakin aboot my property he's to gie ye's both barrels, mind you he's been warned no tae kill ony o ye's a dinna want yer suferin to end too quick!

yer talkin absolute rubbish (as usual) bochan i never lept a bar in my life, appart from the high jump medal i won at the sports.
yer no just leaping about as much yersel these days are ye gettin tired in yer old age?
maybe yer consience is botherin ye an yer no sleeping enough at night?

but the main question is:why were you and petereek up in such a romantic area at the same time?

i think i know that wummin wi the tight garter right enough,he used to be a polieman.

[white settler]

gosh this language is hard to understand up here, does no one write in proper english?

thankyou for explaining about the dog poo bins morenish but is there any need to use language like that on a public forum?

my sister in law who retired to fort augustas successfully got an offending sticker removed from a car, someone was calling themselves the fort augustas rally team and had F.A.R.T written in big letters across the back windows, apparently they had got away with it for years,but one phone call from her to the police soon had that removed, so if i may call on our esteemed administrators to stop all bad language or even enforce the use of proper english i think this forum would be the better for it.

[general jack o'niell]

a jokes a joke but when you start accusing those quaint country folks of using bad language well your asking for trouble, you realise your in deliverance country, without the talented guitar pickers of course, not a musical outpost, more of a drama set, being a white settler you'll fit right in, most of the inhabitants have been pretending to be local for years, having left the bright lights of ardentinny and drumblemble foe example for a more laid back lifestyle, this includes of course limiting their vocabulary to under 1,000 words, using "aye" as both a question and an answer, oh and sticking it at the beginning of every sentence, it's really a wonderful word as it can be used to describe everything from the weather to the current state of a hangover or even the league position of your favourite football team.

then of course theres the habit of running two or more words together, like "spoertsjackett". "screwdriver" (tho thats one word, they just make it sound like two run together) and "fordanglia" which is apparently a make of car, you should have no bother fitting in and if you want to make friends just answer yes to the following question "are you fond of the juice of an orange?" or good/fine/ good, yourself?/fine yourself? to "how ye thenow?"

[Pete Reek]

White Settler uz it?
Yur hoorin bowld for sumbadi thats jeest hijacked a hoose here. Dae yi naw know hee haw aboot langwidge?
Yir lakely jeest a bluddy refugee oot o Arran or Grogport or sumwherr jeest as exotic. Hoot yill hae tae mind is naw so much yir pees an queues
( before yiz a start tae wunner, queues is how its spellt ) as jeest keepin yir heed doon tae yi get used tae the locals up therr in Trumptonia by the Sea.
Therrs nae better words tae discribe an excrement receptacle or if yi prefer excrement depository, as the wans that learned gentleman Mr Morenish used.
The best advice yill get on here is tae keep yir nose oot yir a@$e an smell the coffee.
Ahll gie yi bad bluddy langwidge---------

[Troll Hunter]

gosh this language is hard to understand up here, does no one write in proper english?

Steady now Settler, steady, else you might find me a-leapin' oot at yer from beneath Dippen Bridge next time yer passin' in yer Rolles Royce.

[Bitter End]

Now now Ah widnae be sae damn quick aboot stikin yer heed oot fae unner Dippen Brig ! Thets wan o the places thet wis used afore Garry pit up the "leenin" bins ( well wans abit lik Gourock) . It maybe guid fur the complexion but its a richt boocher tae git oot o yer hair. Ye shuild maybe hae a wee wurd wi the Bochan aboot eatin thae Trolls, he is weel kent fur his culinary skills! Trolls wi stewed Wulks purhaps.

[Beachcomber]

the "leenin" bins ( well wans abit lik Gourock).

Yeah, one of them does need the post lifting and re-setting. Trouble was the day that one went in it was hot and sunny, and the midges were very hungry.

In between batting the things away and holding the post straight I also had to whack it hard with the sledgehammer; I could have done with growing an extra arm or two that day.

[Bitter End]

Methinks Gary thet wuv bin here afore!!!!!!!!!!!! Ah jist canna mind the page number ,but a wee reminder o the slaggin disnae reely dae ye ony herm.

[white settler]

well i'm very sorry i'm sure!
but bad language is uncouth, doesn't matter how you spell or pronounce it.

maybe we should have elecution lessons in the village hall in the winter months, a good way of braking the ice for people like us who have come to live among you, or even night classes in english, any takers?

as for"sombody thats hijacked a hoose" we bought this house out of our hard earned pension fund, we searched long and hard to find said house and we dont want other houses being built in the village to spoil our veiw or any more of those horrible windmills which seem to be springing up all over the country, in fact we joined AEW before we moved in.
we had hoped to retire to retire peacfully but there is just so much needs doing here.

[Beachcomber]

Ah jist canna mind the page number

I know what you mean. This message thread is a monster!

[morenish]

theres more than wan monster amang us i'm thinkin!

white settler ma boy can i ask where in the country the stone wis that you crawled oot fae unner?

i agree wi ye on wan thing this was a perfect village before you say you moved in, but i'm wonderin if ye'r actually in the place or jeest stirrin the pot from ootside?
an who gave you the name white settler?
an why would you come and live in this part of the world if your so anti local?

ye see wer'e no anti anything here(except of course squint dog keech bin posts)

elecution lessons willny make any dufference tae us, election lessons might but thats another story
we're quite happy wi the weiy the wurds come oot an most fowk seem tae unerstan us nae bother, even garry, tho he dinna mind the word for spirit level a wee while ago
even the bochans gettin better but he has been practicing on florry loinachan
so mr settler if you can write poetry like that you may,jeest maybe become a useful inhabitant for the area.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Ah jist canna mind the page number

I know what you mean. This message thread is a monster!

And the first posting on this thread March 2005. Two years! I bet there are 1400 posts or so on this thread alone.