Carradale

[morenish]

well thats the first cut safely in and the manure on for the next but i'm no sure if ther'l be room in the pit for a second cut!
mrs morenish is stamping away on the corners at this very momment trying to get the last load squeezed doon to keep health n safety boys in the car
she's stamping away an puffin on yon damn pipe producing more smoke than the avalon when wull gies her a burst astern commin into the quay,to keep the midges away.

i see yon bull i sent to mull a couple o years ago is stertin to earn his pay, a son o his made £1.96 a kilo in the market, i didna really know the fella that well when i sold him the bull, him bein a campbell, but he's definatly a freen noo!

now who is this white settler thats no jeest settled among us?
if yer no happy gies a shout an we'll soon help ye flit a'bhallaich, in fact wan more words maybe all it'll take.
a wee bitty advice:-folk that come into an area get on far better if they haud their wheesht till they get to know what to say an when to say it.

[Sweltered]

And if they have to have an opinion, they'll be given one.

[general jack o'niell]

surely you mean and if they want a character they'll be given one!!!!

fordanglia to you

[Sweltered]

Sure, they'll be given their character, just not while their there.

[general jack o'niell]

no, it only happens the first time they open their gob and give an "if it was up to me" opinion, there'd be a queue forming roon the oota date ice lollies in omans shop to give them their character.

still i'm sure the village needs a bit of character, you'd need to replace the heap of nets an drodges in the carpark with something for the towrists to take pics of? seeing as the locals have all moved up yir auld scheme and lachie charges for photies after his 15 mins of fame on the discovery channel.

[Bitter End]

Now now boys thers nae sense in sayln it ahint ther backs yeve jist got tae be damn sure thet they unnerstaun hoot yer meenin! Ah fur wan dinna lik gangin abroad fur ma holideys -- jist imachin giein sumwan a richt guid sweerin an sum o it bin loast in the translatshun.

[general jack o'niell]

exskweeze me? baking powder? something about kilts? no, you got me there!!!!!

[Snoddy]

The mercury expands past 70 degrees for the first time this year and the whole village smells like a smoking slaughterhouse. Lady Snoddy is most disconcerted and I am paying the price. She is praying for a plague of midges to drive the heathens back over their dust ridden thresholds, but unfortunately some of them spent the afternoon scarring their livers in the local ale houses and are already uncomfortably close to paralysis.

I was asked to attend Peninver Village Hall tonight with an oxygen bottle and a saline drip. Luckily the Wet Man hasn't been seen since I signed Mr Cutler's death certificate and I managed to give it a body swerve.

So, a final message to all those wives leaving their panting husbands inside the family vehicle in Tesco's carpark: Please leave the windows open and provide a plentiful suppy of fluids (Not alchohol) in an effort to combat dehydration.

[morenish]

aye an her prayers have been answered, but ach it's no funny trying to cut silage on an open tractor on a calm evenin when the wee bandits get in yer eyes jeest at the end o the sward and ye end up missin a wee bit, then clout the stone ye rolled to the edge o the park backat the spring time sowing an forgot to lift an ye brake a blade!
so ye stop everything and get the lever for changing it that hangs on a bit baler twine frae the light that doesny work anyway. ye struggle for a couple o meenits tryin to get the broken yin oot wi the midges attackin every bit o exposed flesh, wi a final growl an a wee joogle oot it comes, ye go to the tool box an select the best worn wan thats in there an then jeest as ye get the lever in the right poseeshun tae fit it a wee bucher bites the inside o yer ear an the whole lot slips...................but mrs mornish says things are a lot better since she started smokin a pipe

[Right Pongal]

Dear Dear Morenish, where the defill is the bochan when you need him? I've goat a wild job stomaching Snoddy at the best of time, but conjuring up mudges is as bad as a native American going to Fort William and performing a rain dance at the National Mod.

Talking of Goats, I see there was a photo of a fella called 'Bull' in one of the old photos submitted by 'Bertie Bobby' to the Goat site. Can anyone mind having him at the fishing in the village? Damned if I can.

What about this rumour that Morenish is taking on the pastures up the glen in order to furnish the kitchen over by with enough tatties for the soup? He was seen down at the shop at the quay, haggling over all the old car spot lights buried under a doze of trishlach in the 'display counter'. He's getting more like Alan Sugar by the day, but will Mrs Morenish put up with slaving over a hot stove by day and behind the wheel of the tractor at night?

Oh for a page out of his bank book. He must be working her hard just now with a view towards early retirement. A Reynard if ever there was one!

[Bitter End]

Noo , the Ram Ah mind > The Bull naw ?

[white settler]

oh this is impossible, how can anyone moving here, understand whats going on if you can't write in english?
it would be easier in wales for heavens sake!

when i tell my friends about the expensive boats in the harbour they think the owners must be rich and cultured, but i cant let anybody see what they write on here in thier uncouth pidgeon english.
you would expect that sort of thing from the residents of the social housing but not the owner of an expesive trawler, i watched that "trawlermen" thing on the bbc last night and did not understand anything they said either, is it a special boat language or what? also this use of nicknames, why?
are you ashamed of the name your parents gave you?

[Bobbie En Tejas]

also this use of nicknames, why?
are you ashamed of the name your parents gave you?

Unusual first name you've got there, White

[Bitter End]

Noo Noo Texas Boab. Ah had a wee bit dig aboot thet afore an noo yer pickin at the puir cretur . Ye shud lee his carcus alane an no be spile'n yersell oan sich easy meat.

[general jack o'niell]

i gather the expensive boats in the harbour were visiting yachts? not the worm ridden tubs that are not worth the price of the de-commissioning!!! the only thing hadden them the gether is rust and layers of paint, how many years is it since ye burnt it back tae the wid?

they'll no even sand afor they gie the hoosy a varnish, and their attempts at scummelin are atrocious!!! jings if donna saw yies, i expect they even wear gloves while puttin on the antifouling with a bloddy big roller, and the scuppers will only get a perfunctuary dab with a dry brush.

talk about white settler not understanding a word, more like the carradale fishermen not understanding a word, i hear they're all from eastern europe, mind you, i've heard of some of the likelys that crewing for the coaltar and i've only just this minute stopped laughing.

where is sheep island anyway? just in case i ever have to make a passage!!!!!