Carradale

[White Van Man]

So whos wantin to shoot the goots out at the point then? This your work white settler>?

anywan think we might be seeing goat surprise on the menu in the hotel sometime soonj?

[Ticketty Boo!]

The newest addition tae the line, The guid shup Ticketty Boo II, will shortly be gracing waaterfit wi her presence fer the ferr. Crewed by Brutains hardy sons, she will be available for guided toors to the landed gentry and suchlike as wid like a wee pruch aboot her bilges.

Man if Dougy waas here himself he wid tell ye!

Onybody fancy a hurl roon the point?

[general jack o'niell]

theres a few need thrown off it more like!!!

or maybe a wee trip doon the shore and thrown of the high rocks would be better, they could forage on the shore for clabby doos

[Beachcomber]

[morenish]

right hoots gaan oan, where the hell is everybudy?
bochan are you alive at all,at all?
bubbly jock,BUBBLY JOCK! ach a canna wake him either
has wheechnettle been brewing sleeping potions?
mind you its probably best to let sleeping bochans well alone(not that he does nowadays)
i wonder if he'll turn up at the camera club do wi more photos that other folk took?
an wheres pongal?
is he doon in england lookin at all the mess an shakin his hied, it's jeest naw pongal.

cheneral jeck and mr end are still sniping away right enough, well acshully, the cheneral has had a good old war on another thread, at the battle of potters end.

i heard the white settler has sold his hoose an moved back south, this place was just too uncouth for him, but at least it wis dry!

as for that aforemenshund mess in a wee bit o england, it's an ill wind that blows nobody good,never mind the flooded hooses all yon fields o grain are rotten an here i am wi hunners o acres o golden barley, an the price goin through the roof!
even as i write mrs morenish is oot greasin the binder, we'll make a fortune!

[witchnettle]

if i have been brewing sleeping potions i'll be using them on my lot soon, i seem to aquired a load of extra children and housemates, and this can get very noisy and stressful. I apologise to anyone else living in tormhor for the noise, (but G & T seems to help a lot on that front) Does anyone suffer from the "friends you only see and hear from once a year, except when the sun is shining and a cheap holiday at the beach beckons" syndrome. I'm getting it bad this year.
Talking of ailments, a wasp flew up my skirt the other day and i got stung about 6 times on the thighs. Now the stings are soooooo itchy i've tried everything so far the only thing working is the trusted gin (taken internally of course) can anyone recommend something and what is all this itching about? perhaps Dr Snoddy could help me out here.
x

[Beachcomber]

has wheechnettle been brewing sleeping potions?

From what I hear she's been takin her own medicine!

i heard the white settler has sold his hoose an moved back south, this place was just too uncouth for him, but at least it wis dry!

Really? Who was it then? I just assumed it was someone local stirring the pot.

[bubbly jock]

Morenish I fear the Bochan may have gone to the other side. No answer to the PM's either. I doot I doot it's naw good news.

As for myshelf well, I'm alive but just, although I feel like a turkey that's been plucked lately.

Glad to be clear of all that stramash doon country? A bit of damage with bombing raids but I hear the rebellion has been crushed and the rebels primary feathers cut. So no more fly overs. They'll have to come in by sea if there's an uprising.

The internal structure seems to be intact so hopefully repair work will begin soon if it hasn't started already

Good news aboot the white settler. He can go and play in the puddles in Middle England. Jeest a pity he didn't hire a bus and take a few stragglers with him. Hope that's naw where the Bochan went

Are you going to the camera club event? I'll be there. Might see a few photos of the new cockerels in town. I do like a good coloured tail of feathers. Gary Are you listening? Not a picture of JD I want to see a real cock strutting about. JD I'll be looking at yours as well Pictures that is!!!!!!!!

bubbly

[Bochan Mor]

Morenish I fear the Bochan may have gone to the other side. No answer to the PM's either. I doot I doot it's naw good news.

As for myshelf well, I'm alive but just, although I feel like a turkey that's been plucked lately.

Glad to be clear of all that stramash doon country? A bit of damage with bombing raids but I hear the rebellion has been crushed and the rebels primary feathers cut. So no more fly overs. They'll have to come in by sea if there's an uprising.

The internal structure seems to be intact so hopefully repair work will begin soon if it hasn't started already

Good news aboot the white settler. He can go and play in the puddles in Middle England. Jeest a pity he didn't hire a bus and take a few stragglers with him. Hope that's naw where the Bochan went

Are you going to the camera club event? I'll be there. Might see a few photos of the new cockerels in town. I do like a good coloured tail of feathers. Gary Are you listening? Not a picture of JD I want to see a real cock strutting about. JD I'll be looking at yours as well Pictures that is!!!!!!!!

bubbly

Never fear bubbly, the bochans never quite depart, but like yourself, periodically merge into the background and remain at periscope depth until the coast is clear. The hairlines are constantly hovering over potential prey, with the finger on the trigger, but sometimes the noise from my cracking knuckles would be enough to give the game away.

I'm hearing them talking about all these camera shutters causing noise pollution in the village, so there must be going to be a hell of a show in the Library.

Have the admins handed you one of those spam emails that are on the go? Seems that I've been tarred with the same brush as Gentleman Jack Your Wheel. I heard Auld Pongal got one as well and declined, saying: 'Stargate be ****. No thanks, I'll go for the fisherman's gate!' Still waiting for an explanation of where it takes you or if my bus pass is valid or not. Somebody said that it was to do with new sanitary wear that has been installed on the server. Dr Snoddy said it was the PC equivalent of Omeprazole tablets. He said that if too much bile is produced then the proton pump inhibitor is administered and the gall bladder is temporarily shut down. 'If the symptoms are recurring too often, then a repeat prescription will be issued, with the Dell equivalent of the district nurses being employed to administer it.'

Snoddy said something about a Wireless Kennina. Auld Pongal very cuttingly retorted: 'I'll take my chances with Dr Flora, veins and all!' I'm not sure what Malky made of that one, but with him and Morenish coining it in with the crop shortages down south, I don't suppose he's giving a damn.

I wonder if Witchnettle has tried the baking soda on that rash she's got? Pongal's wife swears by it for nearly every ailment you can think of. She says that everything comes from within and a gless with 2 heaped teaspoons stirred vigorously for 43 seconds is enough to straighten Sanyanya in his bed at night.

I pointed out that since he moved into Morenish's new shed, he's had no alternative but to sleep with a curvature in his spine. It was either that or hang his legs out one of the 10 and a half doors and run the risk of being devoured by the midges. Again Mrs Pongal pointed to the baking soda. There's just no way of winning with some wimmin, as poor Morenish knows. The soul has had a fearful summer, drying dishes and starting the tractor for her when she comes home from the other job. The talk in the Glen is that Morenish has ordered a sun bed to keep the punters coming through the doors in the winter. Him and Sanyanya were up sawing the roof for the Velux window that he says needs to go above it. You wait and see, he'll have sent witchnettle a PM, telling her that the UV light is good for leg rashes.

Buyer beware!

[general jack o'niell]

you could do worse

[Bochan Mor]

you could do worse

Aye, probably a lot worse. At least you've got wire in your blood!

[general jack o'niell]

is that the same as rust splinters? or the wee shairp point off a prawn heid? i've still got a few of them!!! one came oot ma elbow a while back, been wanderin aboot for years, it was like a wee white lolly with an orange stick, not so wee, because we never caught any wee wans, did we?

[censored]

[bubbly jock]

Don't know about noise pollution but God knows what size their carbon footprint would be with all the flashes going on to fill that room with snapshots.........

Witchnettle declined the offer of a wee paste made up with bicarb and slowly rubbed on in front of the log fire. Her loss.

Need to pass on the spoof mail. With my dodgy gizzard I can't risk the vitriol and I’m afraid your bus pass would not be enough to gain entry through that particular gate. You need to have the ability to bite your tongue and poison yourshelf before any initiation ceremony or rites of passage in there.

It’s an ill wind though because if Dr Snoddy is too busy to dispense when the pump fails then I can see D P in a nurses uniform but not sure if they will give him the district nurses car. No seat for wee P.

bubbly

[Malky]

Another cutting edge post from you censored. Keep up the contributions - your forum needs you - NOT.

Malky