Carradale

[Admin3]

moved over to the Local Sports News.

http://www.awwhosting.co.uk/campbeltown ... um.php?f=4

Sorry to spoil yer fun but I suppose it is sport and to be honest once everyone sees the photos etc I am sure there will be plenty to speak about!

[morenish]

well,well admin 3 ye fairly caused a stop in this conversation!
poor jecks tellin us how he niver made the fair this year an then you go an confuse us wi urls an sports!
it'll no do!
this is carradale an we need to talk about whits heppenin in the far north o kintyre, plooin matches an the big day when the avalon caught a herring!

mind you if you managed to shut up a bochan, yer maybe no all bad
i'm damned if i'd go into airds wid withoot a chainsaw!
no on ma own anyway

[The Heidless Horseman]

See when I get that Bochan after what he did this time, I'll soon wipe that lop-sided grin off his chops. I don't know yet how he managed it but I woke up one morning and realised I was in a more exotic location than was customary. Turned out I was in Portugal travelling steerage with a refugee from the wee village who has started a new life there. I'll spare you the details but there seems to be a lot of heartache attached to the house that he has built.

Anyway, that is none of my concern - we all have our problems - and my immediate one was how to get back to Trumpton. I thought about stowing away on an big plane or trying to get to Spain and hitch a ride back here on a Shellfish wagon, and then I thought, " Hey! Wait a minute. I'm supernatural, what's the problem?" So in a blink of an eye I was back and looking for revenge only to discover that the Big B had cleared out and was attending a high-powered Bochan summit in sunnier climes, where no doubt he will be learning more of his high-tech flummery with which to dazzle the natives.

Don't be deceived. He is evil! He taught Auld Nick everything he knows.

Right, well, anyway, it's good to be back, but no time to hang about when there are things to be done. A quick canter up the Wellpark is long overdue and if I time it right I'll just catch the Cach Collector in action at Sally's Walk. If I can combine that with a wee bit of gratuitious scaring of drunken golfers it will have been a good first day back. Who says there's nothing to do in Carradale during the summer?

[morenish]

thank the good lord yer back heidless, i thocht a wis here in virtual trumpton all alone!
the lights were on but not a sign o a soul

scarey stuff!
but now at least i have the heidless horseman for company.

and back from portugal be damned, if i 'm thinking of the right refugee, it's lucky it was only a heartache you woke up with, hope you dinna fall asleep face doon?
well, aye, ye hanna a face but you know whit a mean?

did he play you a tune on the piano?

oh aye an you wi no ears to hear it, ach life can be difficult at times.

oh aye, life, an you..........................................!

[The Heidless Horseman]

thank the good lord yer back heidless, i thocht a wis here in virtual trumpton all alone!
the lights were on but not a sign o a soul

scarey stuff!
but now at least i have the heidless horseman for company.

and back from portugal be damned, if i 'm thinking of the right refugee, it's lucky it was only a heartache you woke up with, hope you dinna fall asleep face doon?
well, aye, ye hanna a face but you know whit a mean?

did he play you a tune on the piano?

oh aye an you wi no ears to hear it, ach life can be difficult at times.

oh aye, life, an you..........................................!

Now Morenish! It wasn't me that had the heartache if you follow my drift. No, for me it was more like heartburn. I think some brigand tried to doctor my virtual nosebag with that Piri Piri sauce. Damnable so it was!

Fortunately, I fell asleep behind some agricultural implements in an old barn out the back - in fact there was a lovely wee red tractor there you would have liked - so my dignity and everything else remained intact.

I believe the locals call himself Raging Bull out there, but from what I saw of his antics in the Old Fruit Market he ain't no Jake! Mind you, the other Jakes up in Tarbert are becoming a bit of a rum lot as well from what I've heard. Time they stopped all that Fair nonsense and found the True Way again.

Tell me this Morenish. Have you heard anything of the rumour that the powers that be are preparing to pull the plug on this thread before it reaches the 10,000 hits or they will lose a substantial bet? What the devil will we all do then? Where will we all go?

I never thought I would say this, but it's at times like this that you need a Bochan with a good head on him and a cunning plan.

[Ship called Dignity]

Tell me this Morenish. Have you heard anything of the rumour that the powers that be are preparing to pull the plug on this thread before it reaches the 10,000 hits or they will lose a substantial bet? What the devil will we all do then? Where will we all go?

I never thought I would say this, but it's at times like this that you need a Bochan with a good head on him and a cunning plan.

Rumours? Tell us more?!

No - chance of this thread being pulled - 10, 000 views that cannae be knocked!

Still none the wiser mind you!

PS - The Bochan and family were seen on holiday in Costa Del Sol

[Bochan Mor]

PS - The Bochan and family were seen on holiday in Costa Del Sol

That's a black lie Davie P. Never trust a man with more hair on his chest than he has on his heid. He's usually got something else to hide. Costa Coffee maybe at Glasgow Airport. Who in their right mind would head off to the Costa Del Sol, with the Scouder's relatives running amok all round the Med?

Ask Hurricane Jeck. he was once keel-hauled in the med for insubordination, and initially wasn't particularly worried as he had personally scraped the barnacles from the erse of the hull the previous week. Well he went over the starboard side and came up round the port bilge looking like he had been given a hundred lashes. 48 hours in casualty wearing a pair of rubber gloves to facilitate some basic needs without spreading further trauma.

By the time he was released, his ship had sailed, and he was forced to sell sand to the Arabs and jellied eels to the UK fugitives posing amongst the wanabees at Port de Banus

[GarySutherland]

Hiya folks,

I'm away down in England at the moment, having been to my Grandma's funeral yesterday.

Good to see nothing's changed back home.

Cheers
Gary

[Sanyanya]

Sounds like a justifiable excuse for 24 hour drinking. I wonder if it is still possible to acquire the screw-top bottles of Pale Ale that used to be dispensed to order on hot summer days by Tina Blue?

I can remember my mother's excitement on whelk day, when my father would arrive back at the camp site to the sound of heavy clinking bottles in straining white carrier bags. Even the dogs got excited!

I wonder what happened to the supplier of the bags. A dozen bottles of beer and a half bottle of John Barleycorn and the posterior remained intact in the carrier. A four pinter of semi-skimmed milk and 500ml of extra virgin olive oil these days is enough to see off your average supermarket bag.

Should we be organising a 3 minute silence or something?

[morenish]

dhia,dhia sanyana yer showin yer age there screw top bottles???
i have heard of them but never seen wan, were they brown with blue writing on the label?
(my mothers maiden name!)

an no way can i see a bochan in costa del sol, it's far too close to the arab nations an wi the bochans dark skin he might get mistaken for wan o them an end up wi a full body search at imigration,
well if there was enough of them to pull him down of the ceilling in the high corner of the room!
aye maybe it's lucky we're on the west coast, a deep tans kinda frowned upon nowadays!

a 3 minute silence is hard to organise on the croft here when coos an calves are roaring away an ewes mehin an that damnd cockeral crowing at ungodly hours o the mornin, if only the bugger would get fat i'd quieten his ardour for him

[Bochan Mor]

I noticed that the late Murray Shaw's 'Jasmine' has survived the dunt of the government's swinging hammer. The Harvest Queen is also said to have been converted for the leisure market and the Jacksons of Tarbert 'Village Maid's' wheelhouse was fitted to the Margaret Ann of Mallaig some time ago.

What did they all have in common? Yes Hurricane, General Jack, Tickety Boo and bubbly all know: They had wheelhouses shaped and crafted in the shed at the top of Broomfield by Messrs MacDougall, similar to the Silver Lining's which is lying at the Heritage Centre. Aye bubbly do you mind Matha throwing the lever on the 3-phase band saw to wind it up to full speed to cut the seasoned timbers.

It looks as if Howard 'Jaws' McCrindle has had a grip of her though: All that's missing is the harpoon gun!

[morenish]

aha!
a screwtop aged boat!

[morenish]

RIGHT!
hoots gaen oan here?
the bochan has gone all quiet an misty eyed over some long forgotten bit o wid, albeit fashioned by a real craftsman.
does he want to run the scouder doon wi it?
whits happened to him is he ashore somwhere?
bubbly jock seems to have fallen asleep on his perch , either that or mink has him!
sanyana hasny uttered a word for days, well none that made sense onyway
even snodys quiet which is a 1st.
4th gen might be at the silage, 2nd cut.
an heidless.............well he hasny a voice tae his name anyway

but really boys if i sit here talkin to masell, i'll end up in wi jeck at this rate!?!?

[The Scouder]

Don't worry Morenish I'm still lurking here, lying like a big snake at Portrigh. As you will appreciate this is my busy season, so there's not been much time for this nonsense, but I think that the venom is now on the wane (as opposed to the wean) and I'll soon be a pale shadow of my former self. Another month and all you'll hear will be the haunting strains of "Ghost-Scouders in the Sky" echoing round the wee village. In the meantime, I'm making the most of it. Getting ready to go on the lash again this evening.......

[Snoddy]

Yes Morenish, some of us have got work to be getting on with. The scouder and his ilk have been causing a few problems, so I have been busy administering treatment to all the afflicted.

Hay fever is also becoming prominent. With the agricultural sector gearing up for harvest, I can expect a few busy weeks ahead.

Another unlikely ailment in recent weeks has been prawn nips. It seems that some of those employed on the local trawlers are not accustomed to dealing with large volumes of the crusty crustaceans, and have been arriving at my door with nips to the skin and skelfs of prawn head embedded in the tips of their fingers.

Anyway, I must get on, it will be spoot bites next!