Carradale

[Bochan Mor]

RIGHT!
hoots gaen oan here?
the bochan has gone all quiet an misty eyed over some long forgotten bit o wid, albeit fashioned by a real craftsman.
does he want to run the scouder doon wi it?
whits happened to him is he ashore somwhere?
bubbly jock seems to have fallen asleep on his perch , either that or mink has him!
sanyana hasny uttered a word for days, well none that made sense onyway
even snodys quiet which is a 1st.
4th gen might be at the silage, 2nd cut.
an heidless.............well he hasny a voice tae his name anyway

but really boys if i sit here talkin to masell, i'll end up in wi jeck at this rate!?!?

Here Morenish,

I'm standing with Sanyanya and bubbly outside Tesco. The craic is absolutely severe. Fearful catfights going on in the carpark. There's wans throwing dirty nappies at cars that are parked where they shouldna be, and others masquerading with zimmers jeest to make sure that they can run the gauntlet unscathed. There's damn all but dummies lying on the kerbside, where they've been spat out the prams.

Meanwhile, the property speculators are buying up anything resembling bricks and mortar, with mortgage applications hitting record highs (Wait till the scouder gives them a facefull). 'Enough' you might say, but they're also predicting that Campbeltown is to become the next St Andrews, complete with University.

The ethnic cleansing has already started, with the residents of the Gazza strip about to have notice served on them. Poor Sanyanya better feed his horse well and get ready for a long trot, because they're also predicting that the villages will be carried along in the wake. 4th Gen's probably already filling out his planning application for a chalet complex down on the 'Gold Coast'. He'll never be poor again!

Forget the ferry: Fly-Globespan are setting up at the heid of the new quay. All that infill is for a runway, not a pier at all.

Whisky Town?

No......Boom Town!

[bubbly jock]

Bochan mor

Nice to get a wee blether wae you the day at tescos. You missed all the excitement when Sanyanya dragged you off in Oman's taxi.

A notice went up to the effect that all fit punters parked in disabled spaces would be hung if their basket of messages came to less that £30.00 and to compensate their relatives an award of 100 extra clubcard points would be added to their card. Parking in p/child spaces would be encouraged to keep brats out the store and 1000 points added to their clubcard.

Davie Clark and Eddie Fletcher came out with hammer, saw, planks and proceeded to build a gallows where the paperbank is. Russell arrived with the portable cinema in anticipation of the crowds who would be at a loss between hangings and old women were starting to appear with their knitting.

A local entrepeneur has been asked to try it out to see if it is working properly, but enough of that for the moment.

A solution to all this would be to get rid of all the trolleys and replace them with prams. When the ethnic cleansing is complete build a new superstore that is a Sprog Free Zone that doesn't sell nappies on the Park Square site.

bubbly

[oorly gourlay]

406 replies and these are two of the best yet. More power to your cynicism and wit. There'll be a series on this yet

oorly

[Bochan Mor]

There you go bubbly. Ooorly says YOU’RE nothing but an old cynic, because I was being serious.

No doubt you and I could be on borrowed time now, with all these new rules and regulations. It’s getting a bit like Stornoway on here. Its not just the moderators that we need to keep on the right side of, but also the moral & religious Police.

I was going to suggest that we form a Limited company, in an effort to limit our risk, or at the very least, we need to speak to a broker regarding public liability insurance.

However, it might be best not to take any chances, and avoid all other threads but this one. Even a Freudian slip from either of us could be 'enough' to result in us landing up in front of 'The Beak'. There seems to be an awful lot of very angry people doon the road, and hyper-sensitive to boot. At least Gary and Morenish have the skin of a rhinoceros and the horseman lost the heid a long time ago.

They're saying this year’s music festival is going to be fearful. The young mothers groups have chartered a curtain-sider from 'Toys r Us' for a float. They've got a stock pile of those nappies that they were hurling in the car-park, and apparently, when they spot any of the Tesco chancers in the throng, they've no intention of 'Pampering' them. Its got something to do with a post child-birth psychological happening. Down in Southend, they talk about being 'Dreech and Blue'.

Look out for their slogan on the nappies: 'Natural is Best!'

[morenish]

do you know it's to be hoped that the bakers never build a carpark,
there is peace and quiet up here among the good folk of trumpton, and as it's an old fashioned kinda place the mothers use terry nappies and dont go flinging them about willie nilly because of cost.

mrs mornish never flung a nappie in her life!

come away home boys an dont be mixing wi the ungodly doon there it'll soon be dark!

[Ship called Dignity]

I wonder who will be the 10,000 person to view this thread?

First one to reply after 10,000 gets a wee present from the site!

[bubbly jock]

Bochan Mor

Don't worry yourshelf about these rules, They are only for the folk that are saying things that are not true. We'll be alright I've read them and there doesn't seem to be anything that applies to us.

Nevertheless I think I'll hold back on advertising Bubbly Jeans eggs 'till I see how the advert for the sale of the Penthouse in Auld Reekie pans oot

All these postings aboot fitba and folk thinking they can play if that's naw lies I don't know hoot is.

Three stooges saying they're running a sports programme, pure fiction.

Oorley Goorley coming oot of McIlchere's with seven magnificent rolls filled wae links and onions. Walks into the office wae the two rolls that are left after scoffing five marching along Bolgam Street.

Big Alec sitting in the p/child space at Tesco's picking up his stores and wae two Lithuanian orphan fishermen wae dummies in their mooth's sitting in the back seat and told tae start greetin if anybody comes near the car.

You and I are amateurs compared tae that lot so don't worry we're safe enough ( I think)

If we get any hassle we could apply to Davie P for and exemption certificate, that's if he's naw too busy.

Noo that he owns a wean and a car, he might be on picket duty at Tesco's

bubbly

[Malky]

Did you realise that you are the 2nd most prolific poster after Davie P on this site Bubbly?

Your typing claw must be fair worn away ..........

Malky

[Ship called Dignity]

Don't worry yourshelf about these rules, They are only for the folk that are saying things that are not true. We'll be alright I've read them and there doesn't seem to be anything that applies to us.

Don't be so sure - you are one of the reasons...I just couldn't be bothered telling you!

Noo that he owns a wean and a car, he might be on picket duty at Tesco's

bubbly

[Ticketty Boo!]

10,000 views achieved - do I win a prize?

Where would the proposed car park be at the bakers then?

[oorly gourlay]

You're a wild bird bubbly keeping the head below the parapet as a "guest" up there in Trumpton and all the time defaming me. Rolls with sausage and onion indeed, if you looked closer you would have seen they were turkey pieces and the dashed things were that cheuch, that I thought I might be eating you

oorly

[Thewetman]

Come a-wah wae me bubbly jock, its that time again, the fingertips o reality are beckoning to ye. Who is this new facet to your already fragmented personality - will the real bubbly jock please gobble!

I am sorely concerned for your well-being bubba, throwin’ your lot in wae yon stunted weasel Bochan Mor, I hear the feind is rawzenin’ up his bow fur yon tribal orgy in the victoria hall - don't go burdie yeil never contain whits left o you fragile sanity


Its the boogins in them halls- ye'll come oot spaun o the bochan

[bubbly jock]

Drip

I thought someone had pulled your plug and you had run away but I should have known you would be lying around like some stagnant puddle waiting tae come in wae your halo on.

You'll have read all this terrible carry on wae the tesco police. Saw gary the day sitting in the P/Child spot but they let him go when they heard his bike engine. They thought it was a food mixer oot of the hydro shop. Couldn't really call it a motorised vehicle. Don't suppose a clump of baby waste would have bothered him anyway when you consider his other job.

Me and the bochan are the only sane wans on here and oorley likes me that much he wants tae gobble me up so stick yer reality fingers up your wet suit jeest in the region of yer bicycle park and don't be coming on here trying tae slaughter the fun.

Me and the bochan are sticking tae the rules and regulations so we have nothing to worry about and he knows a classy attractive bird when he sees wan.

That davie is a wile man. I dont believe him anyway he said he would make me a T-Shirt and he was making that up so I am naw going to believe him when he says he made up the rules and regs. just for me

Was up at the Muasdale surgery the last day wae my worn claw and a really nice wee nurse spoke wan on for me. Great service on the rural NHS side.

Och enoughs enough, I'm away tae rescue another Hotel

bubbly

[Snoddy]

A word of caution to all those participating in the merriment this weekend. Please try to resist the temptation to overload your system with a cocktail of toxic chemicals.

Just say no!

[Bochan Mor]

A word of caution to all those participating in the merriment this weekend. Please try to resist the temptation to overload your system with a cocktail of toxic chemicals.

Just say no!

Right Snoddy, that's you dealt with Phil & Ally's concert. Now what about the young fellas?

I was thinking that they could get old carageen pants from Muasdale to run his slimy fingers over the pockets of anyone entering the Vic that looks like they have any intention of trying to enjoy themselves.

He must have re-hydrated with that band of heavy rain that passed over this last day or two. I don't suppose that he's been up to operating the keyboard with his skin all dried out during the arid spell.

The wet fella would be better suited concentrating his efforts on the team outside Tesco. He would make a splendid organic wipe for the tender skin freed from the soiled nappies. Wonder why he's making a noise all of a sudden? Maybe one of the two Lithuanian orphan fishermen has stolen his dummy!