Carradale

[4th gen Suthen']

Well, I fair enjoy a few hours at the slatin', very therapoootic so it is...... and sure yi know Morenish that with all the salt air in Kintyre and the condensation from 50 generations of coos there is not much left o' the nails....jeest wee tiny rusty pegs, and to quote the great man, Neil Young, Rust Never Sleeps.........and they are aye gettin' worse and worse and the slates start slidin'...........................

So, I replaced an 80 foot long slated byre roof with 5 metre sheeting.......
So that means I have 5500 slates........going cheap!

One in the glen indeed

[Bochan Mor]

Well, I fair enjoy a few hours at the slatin', very therapoootic so it is......

.

I must say, I'm not one for slating anyone
...............................................................................................................................................................in particular.

[bubbly jock]

so I had to wet myself

Malky

Malky

Why break the habit of a lifetime. Is that why you used to have three pairs of trousers in with the packed lunch on your way along the country road to your rural education

So you're the wetman from the largieside. I should have guessed.

bubbly

[Bobbly Juck]

I'm a bit worried now that Morenish failed to keep his usual weekly appointment with me following yesterday's misunderstanding. I know this is meant to be top secret, but that's the first time in three years that he hasn't appeared and I must say I'm alarmed. Rain or shine he collects me from the cupboard every Tuesday morning and we head off to the river for an hour or so. Sometimes he brings me some crusts and I have to remind him that I am in fact made of plastic but by and large he is quite relaxed and tells me of all the troubles he doesn't have to seek at the farm, not least from the fearsome Mrs Morenish.

To be honest, I don't actually have a qualification in this " tunnag shrink" stuff but that doesn't seem to bother him at all. I'm a good listener and I think that is what counts most.

Anyway, I hope he doesn't do anything foolish, and that he has just taken a wee huff about his scarecrow secret. For the life of me I won't be reporting any more of his inner demons. Fascinating character though, if you get to spend a couple of hours with him. I always feel better about myself after hearing about his latest fermer troubles.

Maybe he'll come back next week?
Of course it's no odds to me really - I'll just be in the cupboard as usual I suppose, unless Gary has me out training. Oh well, we'll just wait and see.......

[morenish]

now bobbly, i know fine yer made o plastic, the crusts are for yer cousin bugie the royal helicopter.
an mrs mornish is never fierce unless she gets haud o her bit o plastic.
by hell that wummin can run up a bill!

as for you bein a shrink, ye canny cos as you say"theres nae water under the bridge"

aye 4th maybe you should take bobbly out for a wee discushen instead o sittin on a cold roof, it'll no be so bad for yer piles!
see when yer finished o him take him up to rhonadale an set him on wims new pond maybe duncan can use him for target practice when he gets finished polishin his cups.
at least he'd have some purpose in life then.

[GarySutherland]

Click on the picture to enlarge...

[Right Pongal]

Enough of this impudence. Wait till I see the Heidless Horseman. Plagiarising my venacular, even if it is for a good cause.

That damned Bochan's fingerprints are also all over this document and I wouldn't be surprised if the surprise guest is bubbly jock or Morenish for that matter.

[Bochan Mor]

That damned Bochan's fingerprints are also all over this document ..............

Here, Here old Pongal. I'm as much a victim of this copyright theft as you are. Maybe we should club together and travel to Glesga to see if we can find a good lawyer.

The spinsters could quite easily have a hand in this lot. I've heard a rumour that they're organising a male wet T-Shirt and clothes-line competition during the break. The drip from Muasdale will find that one so hard to resist, that Gary may manage to snap him on the stage.

If Sanyanya hears that theres a un-watched clothes line, we'll be seeing him parading around the village in a brand new wardrobe this autumn.

Make sure you empty your pockets of pound coins before you enter the hall, as the committee have every intention of doing it for you once your inside. The thin-on-top councillor will be forcing cloakroom tickets on you with promises of must-have prizes, like a week at the fishing with the orphans and Nonnie will be placing the obligatory bottle of 'Old Mull' at the end of the hall and inviting you to roll 20 x £1 coins at it in an attempt to get closest to the bottle.......

Ach what the heck!

[The Heidless Horseman]

Enough of this impudence. Wait till I see the Heidless Horseman. Plagiarising my venacular, even if it is for a good cause.

That damned Bochan's fingerprints are also all over this document and I wouldn't be surprised if the surprise guest is bubbly jock or Morenish for that matter.

Hold it right there you pompous windbag.

This is all news to me and if you look closely that is certainly not me or my nag in the top right corner. I'll agree with you on one thing though - the Bochan's paws are all over it for everyone to see. Mind you. it's funny how Gary got a hold of the picture. Maybe the Bochan was caught short at Sally's Walk and left the evidence behind him? Perhaps Bobbly Juck the undercover tunnag psychiatrist will have an update for us after training tonight? That's if Morenish hasn't managed to take a contract out on him for breaching client confidentiality!

In the meantime my man, if I may be so bold, remember - Keep it Pongal!

[Right Pongal]

Maybe the Bochan was caught short at Sally's Walk and left the evidence behind him?

Indeed not! Now that citizen Gary has sorted out Sally's final route, nothing will be getting left 'BEHIND'. An inspiration to the rest of us Gary. Keep up the good work.

[Sanyanya]

If Sanyanya hears that theres a un-watched clothes line, we'll be seeing him parading around the village in a brand new wardrobe this autumn.............

The thin-on-top councillor will be forcing cloakroom tickets on you with promises of must-have prizes, like a week at the fishing with the orphans and Nonnie will be placing the obligatory bottle of 'Old Mull' at the end of the hall and inviting you to roll 20 x £1 coins at it in an attempt to get closest to the bottle.......

Ach what the heck!

Bochan: Make it a night to remember and go and get raffled!

[Bobbly Juck]

Now then boys, it's getting very fraught on here.

I'm not touting for business mind, but if any of you want to discuss your "identity theft" issues in a calmer environment, I'm available most days for a wee walk and a chat down by the river.

I'll be in the usual place on the bottom shelf, so any time except between 6-8pm (that's when Gary takes me training). Just don't try and feed me stale bread. Even the helicopter's had a bellyful of that. Mind you a wee plate of whelks with HP sauce wouldn't go amiss, although you would need to work the pin for me.

I await your call .............

bobbly

[The Heidless Horseman]

Nonnie will be placing the obligatory bottle of 'Old Mull' at the end of the hall and inviting you to roll 20 x £1 coins at it in an attempt to get closest to the bottle.......

Ach to hell with you Bochan - I was just coming round to the idea of going but now you've ruined it. Surely they don't still do that nonsense in the village? It used to be a waste of a good sixpence but a pound? Surely not?
It'll take about three hours, the music will have to stop for the duration and let's just say there could be a bit of wrestling involved if certain parties don't win. Besides I don't have the heid for Old Mull any more ....

[Snoddy]

Now then boys, it's getting very fraught on here.

I'm not touting for business mind, but if any of you want to discuss your "identity theft" issues in a calmer environment, I'm available most days for a wee walk and a chat down by the river.


I await your call .............

bobbly

Are you absolutely sure that you are qualified to provide this kind of service. Patient confidentiality is number one in this game, but there seems to be an awful lot of gossip under the bridge.

Look at poor Mr M., all his dirty washing hung out for all to see.

Looking closer to home; have you ever noticed any writing on your underside as they lower you into the water? Made in China or British Made, would provide a crude 'carbon dating' of yourself. Do any of the other September jucks have the ability to transfer thought processes into cyberspace, or did you just stick in when you were at school?

[Snoddy]

I know how bobbly ended up under the bridge.

I once asked him "How did you get here?"

I got this reply...

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter. My daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson. But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only my wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I came to this cold, damp, dark place?"

You should have chosen a bigger duck poind. Next stop the Wee Toon?

Yes bobbly, although there's no water under the bridge, more than plenty has passed!

Remember, its good to talk