morenish wrote:halo snoddy
Come now Morenish, not even a regular customer like yourself is going to award old Snoddery Nose a halo, albeit of the facetious variety. As for not understanding the big words and abbreviations; I had assumed that you had tweeged by now that they were contrived to describe the phenomenon that is Morenish!
Anyway, no self respecting crofter would be seen dead hanging about the Tarbert Tractor Shop, even with a bagful of false-faces. The Tarbert Fishermens' Co-Op maybe, or The Corner Hoose or Frigate for that matter, would be much a more likely venues for both the young & older crofter fishermen alike.
The much revered Dr making his way to Calanish; Get real 'man'. He's as mean as cats p*ss, so is very unlikely to pay the ferryman the exorbitant going rate. No, I reckon that if you made your way to Kilmartin Glen, you would find him alternating between tip-toeing and trotting around the old rune stones with the Duchess of Dalintober and maybe thon Whips & Jingles that Gary was associating himself with. They'd probably odorn themselves with nothing but a few blades of autumn bracken and some carefully positioned sprigs of long-past-bloom purple heather.
Think carefully: When did you ever hear of the Great-Unwashed heading for the Western Isles. The 'Wee Frees' would undoubtedly lay down across the linkspans at Stornoway & Tarbert. If that didn't have the desired effect, they'd turn the much-feared Local Presenters on them, chanting Gaelic psalms to the tune of the 'Mosque of the Machair'.
No onions required: You'd see them driven from the Isles, never mind the aisles, wae tears clearing a salty channel down their long-since soiled cheeks, as they gently tickled the accelerator pedals on their VW Dormobiles, battered LandRovers and oil-frying, blue hazed Trabants. They'd all head straight back for the 'Big Smoke' with the after-taste of wafting, combusting peat still lingering in their tobacco scorched nostrils.
A sound and an aroma that would undoubtedly haunt them for the rest of their lifes, even forcing some of them into a hot bath, possibly with a bar of 'Wright's Coal Tar'!
