Carradale

[Humphlock]

[quote="Right Pongal"]I am looking forward to the next instalment of your poem. Where did the toads finally settle? Was it down the quay???


I think maybe jeest wan o' them ended up there, but ye'll find oot in the last episode. Get yer hankies ready, it's a wee bit o' a weepie at the end.

[chuckiebay]

Witchnettle ah'm wild an pleased tae hear that wee ones are still playin in the wids. Airds wid wis the best for the wee hooses mainly because o' the middens - the caff hole, Dan's midden an the quarry. There wid be auld bed ends tae make the walls and all sorts o' stuff could be found tae cover the walls. Rusty corrugated iron wid make the roof and dishes could be found if yi raked aboot. Wan auld wife now deid used tae tell aboot wance she cut her hand in a midden but had the presence o' mind tae run tae the wee hoose tae make wine wi the blood before running home roarin' an' greetin' tae get the cut bandaged. Ah don't suppose ye came on Sarid's wee hoose when ye wir up there. You wid likely know it by the wild gollachan.

Now Humphlock ah've nivver tried the dockens but if ye hear of me bein' flown away in either meanin' o' the term ye'll hae reason tae send me a bunch o' flooers and feel gie guilty.

[Humphlock]

Here's the last bit of the Ballad of the Torrisdale Toads. Ah hope ah haivena monopolised the threid wae it too much.

But first a wee bit of small print - Humphlock accepts no responsibility or liability whatsoever with regard to any harm or ill-effects of any kind contracted by forum members attempting to emulate the teenage puddocks by smoking dockans or any other vegetable matter indigenous to the shore road.

Meanwhile, back at the Puddocks Perty, things were gettin a bit oot o' hand...

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The Laird had wandered, as drunk as a lord,
They found him spatchcocked at Hun's Fjord.
He had followed the fiddle's beguiling song
And tripped on his kilt, it was far too long.

They oxtered him back along the shore road,
His legs were dangling, he was jeest a wee toad.
They wondered how he'd got so much hootch,
Then found the empty bottle in his jecket pooch.

The hoolets were watchin', ye know them owls,
They're a wee bit serious, but they're dacent sowels.
They were fair affronted, shocked to the core
At the fearful gollachan on the shore.

Then Tam decided it was time to sing
And, much to the dismay of the prood Puddock King,
He serenaded the bonny young Queen
With I'll take you home again, Kathleen.

He got half-way through, then sterted to dover,
So the King declared the party was over.
Each toad was summoned from his hiding place,
Some sowels were interrupted mid-embrace.

They decided they would go home in style,
They coona face hoppin' back all o' them miles,
So they pulled a divil o' a cheeky stunt,
And went away wi' wan o' Oman's punts.

Tam, now conscious, spent a wee while poterin'
At the outboard, then suddenly they were motorin'.
He did a quick circuit o' Chanty Creek,
Then he wis the first wan to be seek.

As he took them doon inside the islands
They were singin' the best songs from the Highlands.
They woke all the folk that stay at the quay
And shattered the peace of the bay at Portrigh.

Oh, mo chreach, it wis a wild shiroy,
They were throwin' bottles at the Cruban buoy.
The goats on the point wondered whit was wrong,
“Co tha sin a-seinn The Mingulay Boat Song?”

As they roonded the point there wis a nesty jabble
That quietened doon their drunken rabble.
Most o' the toads were gey rough-lookin',
Wi' sore heids now and hoarse from hoochin'.

But wee Tam the Laird wore a radiant smile.
He was the happiest toad in all Argyll.
For they found, when they entered Torrisdale Bay,
That the Puddock Queen had stowed away.

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FIN

Apologies for any Carradale words missed oot o' the poem - ah did ma best within the constraints o' rhyme and reason. Has anybody else got a wee poem in the local twang?

[Right Pongal]

Humphlock's tome was jeest sublime
but missing out herring was a terrible crime.
The Quay was built on scales and bones
Not puddock parties and toady thrones.

The hoolits studied the twinkling lights
as the winkies bobbed in darkened bights.
Chapping rails 4 times a minute
Flashing scatters were hopefully in it.

The wife's heads were comfy in the hay
whilst the men hauled corks out in the Bay.
100 cran to Ayr and back
Would give a divide to every last man Jack.


Better still a right good stial
Would save the steam to Rubha Na Gal.
The Sound of Mull to Bracadale
Was not for the boys of Carradale.

Rolling at the back of the Sloak
Maybe gied the foolish toad the boak
But like wheezles rising from the heather
The Carradale weemin cann't half blether!!

[Humphlock]

A quick reply to Pongal's question
Herring gives puddocks indigestion.

[witchnettle]

"The hoolets were watchin', ye know them owls,
They're a wee bit serious, but they're dacent sowels."

this tickled me so much, i think it should be out there for all to see,
these two lines summed up owls for me.

i think we should have a reading session in the caboodle
i know loads of ghost stories, some true and some you truely hope are not
come on bochan before the summer comes and you retreat away into a dark corner away from the bright light
one wee session in the caboodle will no hurt too much ........
x

[spangles]

one wee session in the caboodle will no hurt too much ........x

I knew it! I bloody well knew it would come to this. It'll end in tears Witchnettle don't do it.

S

[witchnettle]

aww spangles, you don't know me at all, this just makes me want to do it more.
but i heed your words and will be wary and on my guard should such an evening come to pass
x

[Bochan Mor]

A quick reply to Pongal's question
Herring gives puddocks indigestion.

Summer came to Cloanaig Bay, the crechans gathered and began to play
Past Couts's bobbins they eagerly danced, like Spangles in Witchnettle's trance.
For weeks on end they filled the boats, even time-served Soogans and clueless goats.

Plaice, lemons and dovers were landed a plenty, then alas the bay was finally empty.
Riddles and cow hides littered the quay, what turned up next for Old Pongal's tea?
The attention turned to clams with ham, and when that ran out, he turned to spam.


The dawn haul prawn seems more resilient, though endless tailing is far from brilliant.
The mighty herring made the puddocks boak, but dipped in oatmeal suited hardy folk.
Lets hope they come back to the shore, and make the village great once more.

[jdcarra]

A quick reply to Pongal's question
Herring gives puddocks indigestion.

Summer came to Cloanaig Bay, the crechans gathered and began to play
Past Couts's bobbins they eagerly danced, like Spangles in Witchnettle's trance.
For weeks on end they filled the boats, even time-served Soogans and clueless goats.

Plaice, lemons and dovers were landed a plenty, then alas the bay was empty.
Riddles and cow hides littered the quay, what turned up next for Old Pongal's tea?
The attention turned to clams with ham, and when that ran out, he turned to spam.


The dawn haul prawn seems more resilient, though endless tailing is far from brilliant.
The mighty herring made the puddocks boak, but dipped in oatmeal suited hardy folk.
Lets hope they come back to the shore, and make the village great once more.

Brilliant , you have now been tranformed into a poet.

[Bochan Mor]

"The hoolets were watchin', ye know them owls,
They're a wee bit serious, but they're dacent sowels."

this tickled me so much, i think it should be out there for all to see,
these two lines summed up owls for me.

i think we should have a reading session in the caboodle
i know loads of ghost stories, some true and some you truely hope are not
come on bochan before the summer comes and you retreat away into a dark corner away from the bright light
one wee session in the caboodle will no hurt too much ........
x

You know what happens to a moth when it flies too close to the candle??

[morenish]

bochan i heard that caboodle wis that waarm from wheechnettles dancin yer candle melted, but ach maybe it was jeest a malishus roomer

congratulations humph, that was an excellent bit o work, no wonder sky is losing customers when theres such entertainment to be had on this forum
niver the lakes!

[Bochan Mor]

bochan i heard that caboodle wis that waarm from wheechnettles dancin yer candle melted, but ach maybe it was jeest a malishus roomer

congratulations humph, that was an excellent bit o work, no wonder sky is losing customers when theres such entertainment to be had on this forum
niver the lakes!

No Morenish, the only reason that the candle melted was the close proximity to the brazier installed in Dick MacFadyen's auld hoose. Carradale's contribution to global warming and green house gasses all in one!

Poor Sanyanya is still confused when you ask him to take his pick, then send him round to your shed. There's damn nearly as many doors as there is gates lying outside Toad Hall!

[toad]

'Ribbit, ribbit!'

[chuckiebay]

The poetry on this forum is jeest sublime. Ah'm wunnerin if it's netural ability or enhanced by the shore dockens. Yez aal jeest seem a wee bit high whit wi the goin's on at the caboodle an ivrithin'. Ah hope it'll naw all end in greetin'.