Carradale

[Bitter End]

BITT --a post fur fest'n the en o a warp tae --- BITTER END --end o aan anchor warp ------- the accent canna be mair than a gui short steam awa fae yer ferm! an only a toony wid ere came oot wi hoot instead o whit!!! , an ah dinae hae cloven hooves so am nae Garry ,but ahm gled tae see ye baack drae yer byre wi yer fancy heaters.

[Bitter End]

An further yer richt aboot the toorists -- if they move it saves ye jist rinnin ower the top o them whin yer jist gawin aboot yer buusness

[morenish]

it's damnt anoyin tho buyin yon expesive cleaner in the county tae clean them towrists aff the front o the car

[Bitter End]

Aall yer needin is an auld bit o tarpaulin tied tae the front o yer tractor wi baler twine. whin it is absolutely mingin tak it an pit it in yer dippnin tank an gui it a good sluish . Yeel nae e'en hae tae dry it aff afore hingin it back oan the aul Massey F . Anyway they git crushed better unner a crawler an the tracks leave pretty patterns oan the road

[morenish]

aye cheers fur that advice BE
but i fear mrs morenish wilny be pleased if i try to take away her night attire an drape it on the fergie, we'll see how it goes when i get back.
meanwhile if ye know o anybody that has a wee bit spare from makin shelters when they're at the wilks jeest let me know.

an as for washin it in the dipper, well it's a helluva long walk, ye see we had to shift the dipper oot the hill to a secret locashun away from sepa an HEs pryin eyes, wilt the pressure washer dae the same job?

[Bitter End]

Ah forgoat aout thon SEPA. It his fingers in mair pies than thon Medussa hid snakeletts oan her heid and is a bluddy sicht mair dangerus tae!! Had a wee squint doon the shore - nae wulk shelters-so checked oot the avenue frae the hall tae Port Righ but the foulk that used tae stay oan it hive moved awaw an taken thir bee hives wae thim --so dae ye no hae an auld stack cover or two lyin aboot yer yard? or ir they cover'n the holes in the byre efter the last gale . Whit aboot wan o they fancy punt covers --jist the dab, an am sure the pressure waasher 'l be jist fine if it disnae blast holes through it. Ye hid better git yer watter frae the burn though, thon stuff oot o the taps frae the bores wud rot anythin includin yer teeth.

[morenish]

i found an old fertilizer bag and that seems to work chust fine.

an yer right aboot the water, i can produce better water than SW!

ye see it's that expensive to provide pure water tae fowk now that they add chemicals to it to.........eh water it doon

[Bitter End]

Aye wi nae dipper ye'll nae be wantin the bag fur an apron so that a guid use fur it, wi aall this recyclin thats goin oan. Ah wis thinkin o gaun back tae ma auld watter supply an jist puttin a collander at the end o the pipe fur a filter an gittin a real waash agin an gittin the winter tan back. Yer tea always hid a daecent taste tae it , nae lik a bluidy mooth waash! an the sink hid a dam guid culur tae, an nae nansence frae hersel aboot cleanin the sink efter yed waashed the glaur aff yer boots in it.

[morenish]

man,man yer gettin saft in yer aul age!
a collander on the end o the pipe for a fil..fil...filter, ye'll be smokin tipped fags nixt, no ,no jeest you mak tea wi tadpoles an wee beasties in it like it should be an how are ye so frightened o 'er that you wid wash the boots?
whit wid be the point o keepin her and washin the boots as well?

you know its ominously quiet on here wi'oot a bochan commentin on yer every move, or at least commentin on who he thinks ye are!
but maybe he's away on a peace keepin mishun to bosnia or irtaq or mallaig or wellpark?

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Don't any of you go away! I have had more than a few good laughs on here (although I admit I can only understand half of what it said.) After reading you guys, I'll be speaking like a true native when I come back to Campbeltown. Or like an American making an idiot of herself (Is that possible?) DON'T ANSWER!

[oorly gourlay]

Bobbie, if you can understand half of this you are doing well. The rest of us are lucky if we can comprehend even 10%

Does anyone have a copy of the photo of the Crofters' team that played Johnny Goldie's team in Fife that they can post? I know that there was a video and I'm sure that I had a photo but it has disappeared. This was in the early 80's around the time that we joined Division 7.

oorly

[Bitter End]

Aye its wurse than ominous, its bluidy frichtnin no havin a clue where yon Bochan is. The bucher cuild be slinkin aboot in the dark ootside the hoose, jist that wee bit beyond the field o vision! The kids cummin tae the door guisin, are awe wunnerin why am lookin at them gui strange as ah jist check them out fur bochan similarities. Some are awfy close! Thon turkeys gone quiet tae. Ah thought he wis goany devour the Popattack but its crawled bak unner its stane whir it belangs. Noo its time tae gang an hide ahint the door an gie the next lot o guisers the instant scoors instead o a bit o chocolate an a bun. The graveyard at Waterfit wis aye a guid place tae have a wild burl oan these nights, as long as Rid Dougie wis at sea ye cuild get awa wi it!

[Bochan Mor]

you know its ominously quiet on here wi'oot a bochan commentin on yer every move, or at least commentin on who he thinks ye are!
but maybe he's away on a peace keepin mishun to bosnia or irtaq or mallaig or wellpark?

Morenish, its not that easy taking a tribe of press-ganged orphans from the Eastern Block and demonstrating to them, with photos of the Big Loon's previous vessels, which is the right way up!

With all that imported vodka thats swilling about in the bilges and setting off the gas detector on an hourly basis, it could be a very important lesson indeed.

At least when you cast your bespectacled peepers on poor Mrs Morenish from the comfort of your vertically challenged swivel chair, you're able to tell which is the 'Bitter End'

Even bubbly would have a job telling whether he was flying erse first or not in a place like this!

Its obvious that things have been bad of late when you've had to resort to speaking to yerself through the medium of your alter ego. You watch though, or Snoddy will come on you, or even worse, that rogue bobbly juck will return and try his shrink nonsense on you again. I would say that if anything, he has left you a a damn sight droller than you ever were.

Just as well its a wee quiet village we live in, and that the young folk are managing to resist the temptation of devouring copious amounts of the bochan cheese, washed erse-ward and beyond with Smirnoff Ice.

Aye, Its not a good combination: even the women would be fighting, and by jove when cats are spitting and the fur & claws starts flying, you want to be anywhere but near! Even the Boss would head for the hills!

They're saying that Halloween arrived early in the village, with a trick-or-treat extravaganza, courtesy of a squad of Keenjocks from the Toon. Allegedly they were even spotted by the local constabulary as they steamed due South around 3am having perpetrated some dirty deeds or other which are now possibly sub-judicy.

I would expect that they're jeest gathering all the evidence together before they go and chap firmly on the whellhouse doors in the dead of night!

'Be sure your sins will find you out,' is that not what they say.

Right boys, you may well go and turn yer false faces in at the first opportunity and attempt to plead mitigating circumstances. DNA samples have apparently been taken and sent for acute analysis.

Anyway, one question: Which one of you took the bite out the toffee apple and then stuck it firmly between my windscreen wipers? What a mess in the morning. I'd to get three kettles-full of boiling water to remove the 'Sticky Goo.'

Youz would be a damn sight better exerting alll your pent up energies in a civillized game of football, like goes on up here in the village. Then you'd sleep easier in your bunks at night..

Ach Morenish, with a scuffly week of weather again, your going to have to put up with all those damn fishermen horseing up and down from the Quay to the Glen 24-7 for another week. You'll even need to resort to lighting the paraffin lamps on the tractor now that the clocks have changed!

[bubbly jock]

Bochan mor

I thought I'd seen it all, I take it that's the S.L. in the above picture.

Big alec's taking tae the ferming big time since he moved intae the ranch. Is that him doon at the backs water trying tae show the orphans how tae plough wae a fishing boat.

My God but that man is enterprising. He'll turn a shilling at anything.

He'll be hiring the orphans tae the local fermers next, jeest tae keep them working ower the weekend.

Ach, they'll get the prize for the furthest travelled in next years ploughing match and maybe even first on the field because the big fla's naw giving them a chance tae sleep.

This Halloween's a great time for folk playing wee tricks. I saw a man on his own carrying two keech canisters and wearing a GS mask. I offered him nuts and apples but he said he would rather have a grant.

Never mind, we'll get a few laughs next week looking at Trumptons finest champin at the bit hoping for a wee call oot and if they don't I suppose they can do what they did last year.

I got a few spleeters on my feathers when they saw a puff of smoke coming oot the driver instructors car and turned the hoses on.

Ach well they need the practice so no harm done

bubbly

[Bochan Mor]

'The big foaming breakers will give me the shakers, the Crinan Canal for ME!
(Alex MacKenzie, Highland Voyage)

Your a right rascal at times bubbly. Sure you know that it's the old Radiance, lying between Cairnban and Bellanoch on the Crinan Canal.

I think there were more than a few spleeters coming from the soul's pipe in the last week or so, with all sorts of damage allegedly being afflicted on the poor instructors car. They're saying that the incident at the burger van is the talk of the town.

I see a nearly-new poster appeared on the site just in time for Halloween, with the same affliction as a former regular correspondent. Best that we don't take the bait though, as he foretold of a plethera of mind games when we were least expecting. He's managing to just hold it together under gentle questioning from some genuinely concerned members, but my blood pressure wouldn't take another tongue lashing like you and me were on the receiving end of, the last time he threw a force-ten, cyclonic, fanniach, complete with hail stones in our direction.

No, confrontation is the breath of life to these people, so best that we totally ignore him!