Carradale

[Right Pongal]

My goodness Buchan More, how are you going to get out of this jam. Proposeetioned in public by a piece of poisoned ivy. What will Mrs Buchan say to all this?

[Bochan Mor]

Right Pongo; My heart's racing and my trembling palms are sweating buckets of ice Cold Dunsade at the thought of the half price papers and the discounted buns. What next, old-style rolls and Bermalene loafs at the quay.

As for Witchnettle, I would say that she could do far worse than go and visit the Carradale Goat at: http://www.the-carradale-goat.co.uk . I'm quite sure that Gary will only be too happy to lead her up the garden path and show her his well positioned webcam, which they say gets into all the nooks and crannies. Besides, Gary is usually first with the NG&S

I wonder what Witchnettle's interest in standing stones is?

I'm sure that I've heard Whips & Jingles saying that there's a doze of them at Callanish in Lewis. Morenish commented something about a standing stone having no conscience. I've no idea what he means!

[GarySutherland]

I'd just like to say, for the record, that I am most definitely not witchnettle...

Cheers
Gary

[Bochan Mor]

No Gary, I didn't think for one minute that you were the Witchnettle. Damn me, we've just got rid of that plague of a scouder, for a wee while anyway, when another venomous stinger appears on the scene.

I thought that all of the witches had been banished from the village and sent to the central belt, but obviously one has slipped the net.

Maybe I should chance a meeting. What do you think Bubbly; the Spoot Wood at five past midnight? That way, I can either make my escape up or down depending on the velocity required.

I'll maybe leave the car running at the top and Speedy's bike at the bottom. Who knows though, I'll maybe make for the rope swing.

[witchnettle]

this why i need you brochan mor i DON'T even know where the spoot wood is... i need someone with a steady hand to guide me along the dark and secret places of carradale and its locality, especially any standing stones!!! Alas though the worst has happened you fellas have shot off at a tangent (typical) and have gone all giggly on me, all i wanted was someone who knows the secrets of the land. If Brochan Mor isn't the man for the job, (and maybe Mrs Brochan Mor would agree with that) is there anyone else who can help me.

[Bochan Mor]

Morenish & Sanyanya have more idea about the secrets of the land. They'll even tell you how to fill in the grant applications and how to shoe your horses. When they're finished with the horses, perhaps they'll also enlighten you how to cost-effectively shoe your children as well, all at the expense of the tax-paying public at large.

Grrrrrr, don't get bubbly started.

PS. You didn't go to the same school as 'Take a Pop' by any chance, as I find it hard to comprehend that Wee Donald would have knowingly let you out of his grasp, had he known how deplorable you were at spelling.

[take_a_pop]

So glad i am not required to read the postings in these pages, i find the use of our native tounge rather teedious when used in the manner, that this section of Kintyre use it. Do they think they have the right to say what they want,in the manner they say it ?. If you were to write this kind of material in say, the likes of London, you would be beheaded. As for correcting my few spelling mistakes, it would be more benificial to yourselfs to go to night classes and learn the queens own english, rather than writing posts which make about as much sence as having an ashtray on a motorbike.

[bubbly jock]

PS. You didn't go to the same school as 'Take a Pop' by any chance, had he known how deplorable you were at spelling.

Aye Bochan mor,

There's a few who could benefit from a wee course on keyboard skills. Either that or they went to wan oh these toon schools and don't know any better. Some of them like to SHOUT as well.

A wee spell check on here would help for those who don't know their there's from their theirs and their I's from their i's.

See u jean you would have benefitted from wee donal's skills and what about Trainspotting, written totally in the vernacular????????? Made the author a very rich man.

A few half price broadsheets are now available to enhance the wee vacuum in the grammatically challenged few.

Bochan mor stay nettle free. You'll only get stung and she can't spell your name anyway.

bubbly

[witchnettle]

i don't know who take-a-pop is, so can't be sure if i went to the same school, i did go to school on kintyre though. Sorry about the mis-spelling of your name oh-great-one. I realised after i had posted it, and it was too late then. i have been chanting it all night as punishment, so i promise never to get it wrong again. May the sunshine on all the great and good today, I'm off to Lochgilphead (not the hospital, although it would probably do me the world of good, after all i'm sitting doing this at 9.05 on a sunday morning) so slainte til we meet again x

[Pete Reek]

Bubbly Jock wrote that Trainspotting was written "in the venacular"
I read somewhere that it was writen in the authors front room. I know Harry Potter was written in a cafe in Auld Reekie, but I don't know if they sell Kenco or not.
By the way, is a venacular one of these things folk sit in when they are in the garden?
Oh well, half a loaf is better than nae bread!

[Sweltered]

z?

[Snoddy]

........ i did go to school on kintyre though.

Dear Madam, having spent more time than I care to think about in Kintyre, I find it disturbing in the least to hear that you went to school 'ON' Kintyre.

Has the peninsula finally succumbed to the oceans and become an island?

May I also take this opportunity to discourage you from encouraging any of the locals to take you on a guided tour of the village's 'Nooks & Crannies':

........ 'wondered if Bochan Mor fancied taking me for a wander round Carradale, he seems to know all the stories and all the wee nooks and crannies and I'm a sucker for a good story and the odd nook and cranny!'

Some of these cads have been wasting precious daylight hours watching soap operas like Eastenders and have picked up some Cockney Rhyming Slang along the way, and may have already misinterpreted your naive but kind invitation.

[Bitter End]

Ah dinna think thon Witchnettle should be worried aboot the nooks an crannies or bein' led astray by Bochan Mor.She should be right aware o the danger o bein taken doon the shore tae hunt fur McDonalds Bees by any o the male residents o the village!

[Bochan Mor]

I don't know where that wee Bee Witchnettle has gone today. She must have pressing business away from the village.

It's maybe Mrs Morenish, and she's gone to B&Q to see if she can get a bigger saw to help chop the logs. Apparently the bonfire at Wellpark collapsed very quickly this year, due to the fact that the logs in the centre had been hollowed out, to bolster someone's supply of ready cut firewood.

I could have sworn that a red tractor was seen going up the forestry road under the cover of darkness, with the aroma of burning parafin, from the flickering headlamps!

[witchnettle]

thank you Dr Snod for you concern over my 'nooks and crannies' i see exactly what you mean and shall watch my language in future, if i ever dare to write on this site again, since my every word is being torn to shreds and analysed. I now have a dictionary living next to the computer. I would like to point out that we do in fact exist ON the land and not in it, although there are some places on kintyre where one would end up deep in the peninsula if one did not mind ones step!!!! If you know what i mean, and whats this about MacDonalds bees? I obviously have a lot of catching up to do... No-one has told me where the spoot wood is yet. I went to an old oak wood, and waterfalls, today up near claonaig does anyone know anything about that place and its history.