Questions that keep me up at night

[Govangirl]

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!


Whose idea was it to put an 's' in the word 'lisp' and to make the word 'dyslexia' so hard to spell?

Any other questions that haunt you?

[numberplease]

Why is a boxing ring square?

[Govangirl]

Yeah, and why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?
and
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

[numberplease]

And when people say that someone eats like a horse, does that mean they live on oats and grass?
Or do people who drink like a fish only drink water?

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Why are all fire engines called Dennis?

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

[Bobh]

Why is there not another word for Thesarus?

[LANDROVER ROGER]

P.T.F.E.is used to coat non-stick saucepans.How do they get it to stick?

Why do kamikaze pilots wear crash helmets?

[Govangirl]

If the 'black box' flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole aeroplane made out of that stuff?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

[hugh]

Why do people say "I'm not being funny, but..." just before they say the unfunniest thing you've heard that day? Also, why do some people say "I turned round and said...and he/she turned round and said..and I turned round and said back..."? What's that all about? They must be hella' dizzy after those conversations. And...why do some people always say "What?" before they say a number? Is it some kind of superstition? I must have heard it at least, what?, four times today. And, and another one...why do some people ask you questions when they're telling you something? Something like "I was talking to her today, wasn't I?" When you're sitting there thinking to yourself "How the hell would I know, I wasn't there, was I?" Bloody annoying, so it is.

[EMDEE]

Why is it that when someone uses the expression "with all due respect". It's always followed by an opinion that implies that you are an idiot?

[hugh]

...Yeah, and footballers being interviewed...why do they have to say the word "obviously" every three nano-seconds? Why do job interviewers say "Where do you see yourself in yourself in five years time"? If You were clairvoyant you wouldn't need a job.

[Sheik Yir Erse]

...Yeah, and footballers being interviewed...why do they have to say the word "obviously" every three nano-seconds?

Hugh - the next time you see Wayne Rooney being interviewed, check how many times he finishes a sentence with "...you know"

"It was a great ball into the box, you know. I managed to get my head on it, you know. Obvioulsy we're delighted to have won, you know."

[Bobh]

Why is there only one Monopolies Commission?

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Oi! Read me!

[EMDEE]

Just to follow on from the expression "you know". Another that has crept in of recent years is "you know what I'm saying".

What does that mean?

When someone says this to me I feel like replying "If I don't know what you're saying I must be bloody deaf!"