USED BATTERIES

[Govangirl]

I don't think you are all conducting yourselves properly, you're all power corrupted by the sound of it, it's quite shocking. My husband is an electrician and he was home way past his usual time tonight. I asked him: "Wire you insulate?"

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
Ten thousand volts shot up it`s a**e,
And turned it`s wool to nylon.

[EMDEE]

Mary had a little lamb,
She tied it to a pylon,
Ten thousand volts shot up it`s a**e,
And turned it`s wool to nylon.

That's shocking!

[Govangirl]

You're quite right EMDEE so we should get in that Sherlock detective to look into it for us. No doubt we'd hear him say, "Watt's up Ohms?"

[LANDROVER ROGER]

You're quite right EMDEE so we should get in that Sherlock detective to look into it for us. No doubt we'd hear him say, "Watt's up Ohms?"

Sherlocks electric kettle stopped working.He said to his sidekick,"It`s the element dear Watson."

[£3.73]

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.

'Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.'

Watson replies, 'I see millions of stars.'

'What does that tell you?'

Watson ponders for a minute. 'Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Timewise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?'

Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks. 'Watson, you twat, someone's nicked our f'kn tent.'

but back to the batteries !

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Sherlock painted his front door bright yellow.When his side kick asked why he had done this he replied,"It`s a lemon entry my dear Watson."

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Pal of mine drowned in a bowl of muesli.Pulled under by a strong currant.

[The Hitman]

Trust you to be raisin the standard of this thread!!

And no I am not jealous so don't even contemplate the phrase sour grapes!!