Tractors

[Govangirl]

Sarid is passing by Bitter's hay shed one day when through a gap in the door he sees Bitter doing a slow and sensual striptease in front of an old red Massey Ferguson.

Buttocks clenched, he performs a slow pirouette and gently slides off first the right welly, followed by the left.

He then hunches his shoulders forward and in a classic striptease move lets his braces fall down from his shoulders to dangle by his hips over his corduroy trousers.

Grabbing both sides of his checked shirt, he rips it apart to reveal his Springbank-stained vest underneath and with a final flourish he hurls his flat cap on to a pile of hay.

"Whit on earth are you daein' Bitter?" asks Sarid.

"Jings Sarid, ye frightened the livin daylights oot a' me," says an obviously embarrassed Bitter, "but me and the Missus huv been having some trouble lately in the bedroom department and the therapist suggested I dae something sexy tae a tractor."

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Brilliant!