The Kintyre Forum

A Scotsman walking through a field, see's a man drinking water from the pool with his hand.
The Scotsman shouts'"Awa ye feel hoor thatas full oa coos sharn'"
(Don`t drink the water its full of cow shit)
The man shouts back "I'm English, speak English, I don`t understand you".
The Scotsman shouts back "Use both hands you will get more in'".

I'm not sure why but it made me roar with laughter. Good on yer.