The Kintyre Forum

A cowboy rode in to town.He was wearing a brown paper hat,brown paper shirt,brown paper trousers and brown paper waistcoat.The Sheriff locked him in jail for rustling.

I heard that one when I was in Primary School!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Another cowboy joke:

The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gun belt, and said, "I do...Why?"

The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, "I just thought you would like to know that your horse is about dead outside!"

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside, and sure enough, Silver was ready to die from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got the horse water, and soon, Silver was starting to feel a little better. The
Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, "Tonto, I want you to run around
Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better."

Tonto said, "Sure, Kemosabe," and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lone Ranger
returned to the bar to finish his drink.

A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and asks, "Who owns that big white horse outside?"

The Lone Ranger stands again, and claims, "I do, what's wrong with him this time?"

The cowboy looks him in the eye and says, "Nothing, but you left your
Injun runnin'."

On the subject of reviving almost dead animals, there is the story about the driver who knocked down a hare and stopped to see what he could do to help it.

Another car pulled up and the driver got out and when the second driver saw what had happened, he went back to his car and took a bottle of liquid out of the glove compartment, and poured it over the nearly dead hare.

The hare got up immediately, ran into the field, turned round and waved to the two motorists with its paw. It ran another few yards and did the same again, and again, and again, and then disappeared over the hill after giving them a final wave.

The first motorist asked the second motorist what kind of elixir he had used to revive the hare and make it behave in such a curious way.

The second motorist said “It’s hare restorer with a permanent wave”

Whats pink but close to silver?




The lone rangers arse!



soory!

Cowboy walks out of the saloon.His horse has been painted bright yellow.He turns on his heels and dashes back in to the saloon shouting,"Which one of you b******s painted my horse yellow?"...A guy stands up at the back of the bar,he is 8 feet tall with muscles in his spit.He says,"I did,what is the problem?"The first guy says,"Just thought that you would like to know that the first coat is dry if you want to give it another".

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through one of the many
canyons when suddenly rising from the hill on their right are hundreds of
indians. They start to spur their horse forward when they realised that there
are hundreds of indians ahead of them. Wheeling to the left they, once
again, see hundreds of indians rising from the hill. They begin to back away
in the direction from which they had come and they realise, they were
surrounded. The indians had spread out. They were trapped.

The Lone Ranger turns to Tonto, his life long friend, and says "Tonto,
my friend, I have to say that I have treasured our times together
but now I think we are doomed".

" We?" replied Tonto "What's all this we, Paleface?"

My great grandfather was killed at the Battle of Bighorn.He was camping nearby and went over to complain about the noise.

The cowboy who cut the legs off his bunk
he wanted to lie low for a few days