The Kintyre Forum

A duck walks in to a pharmacy and orders a red lipstick.The assistant duly puts one on the counter and says,"That will be five pounds please."
The duck replies,"Put it on my bill."
I went to the pharmacy and asked for a bar of soap.The assistant asked,"Do you want it scented?"
I replied,"No thanks I will take it with me."

I went into the ironmongers to get a po
then off to the fishmongers
a pun a fillet
a pun ye don't - came the reply

The young barber said - is that all sir
as he held the mirror
no came the reply
ye can get me a pair of nickers as well
ya hiv made an erse a it.