The Kintyre Forum

A man charges into a bank wearing a balaclava and wielding a handgun.
He shouts 'this is a raid - everyone get on the floor!!', and proceeds
to empty the cash drawers.
As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off
his balaclava. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head
and shouts.. 'Did anybody else here see ma face?'.
The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and
goes over and shoots him in the head also.
'Did anybody else see ma face?' he shouts again, waving his gun around.
There is silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard
from a distant corner..
'I think ma missus caught a glimpse of you....'

Absolutely brilliant!

I got fed up waiting for you to post a joke Roger!! What's happened, has your supply ran dry?

The wife bought a couple of hamsters from a pet shop in Partick - both of them died that night. She went to complain the following day. The guy in the shop says, sorry nothing we can do. However if you mix 2lb sugar and boil the hamsters you can make jam. She tried this - and the jam tasted awful -she threw the rest of it out of the window. The next morning the garden was covered in tulips - look Mick she said - Tulips from hamster jam.

Was it you that went into the pet shop last week and asked if they sold wasps? When they told you not to be ridiculous, of course they didnae, you quite rightly replied, "Well, you've goat ane in the windae!!!!"

Sorry for the delay Govangirl,just posted a fresh batch.