The Kintyre Forum

Surgeon says to patient,"I have some good news and some bad news."The patient says,"Give me the bad news first."
The surgeon says,"We are going to have to amputate both of your legs."The patient asks,"What is the good news?"
The surgeon replies,"The patient in the end bed wants to buy your slippers."

Doctor: I have some good news and I have some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: The good news is that the tests you took showed that you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: That's the good news?!!!!!! What's the bad news?
Doctor: The bad news is that I forgot to call you yesterday!

German prison camp commander
today we have some good news and some bad news
the good news first cry the POW's
today we are going to have a change of underwear
hurrah hurrah cry the men
a voice shouts out - what about the bad news
commander: hut A change with hut B.

German prisoner of war camp .The commandant says,"I have good news and bad news.The good news...today we play squash.The bad news.....I will drive the steamroller."