The Kintyre Forum

I read in the paper that a gas engineer appeared in court after being caught having sex with a small dog.
The magistrate let him off as he was corgi registered.

A guy jumps out a plane - the parachute fails
he plummets towards earth - he meets a guy going in an upwards direction - half way up or down depending.
He shouts - Do you know anything about parachutes - no came the reply - do you know anything about gas cookers.