A husband's nightmare

[Lossit Lass]

A man came home from work and found his three children outside,

still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and

wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car

was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign

of the dog.


Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess.

A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded

against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring

a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys

and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the

sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door

was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass

lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door.


He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys

and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried

she may be ill, or that something serious had happened.

He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out

the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels,

scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet

paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the

mirror and walls.


As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up

in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him,

smiled, and asked how his day went.


He looked at her bewildered and asked, "What happened here today?"

She again smiled and answered, "You know every day when you come home

from work and you ask me what in the world did I do today?"

"Yes," was his incredulous reply.

She answered, "Well, today I didn't do it."