The Kintyre Forum

Heard on Wogan this morning."To save money on celebrations,why not celebrate the Chinese New Year and Burns at the same time and have a Chinese Burns Night".

LR - I'm reminded of the great 'Top Tips' parody in Viz. One of my personal favourites was.......

Avoid excessive wear and tear on your carpets by rolling them up and storing them in a cupboard.

Brilliant

Sheik Yir Erse wrote:LR - I'm reminded of the great 'Top Tips' parody in Viz. One of my personal favourites was.......

Avoid excessive wear and tear on your carpets by rolling them up and storing them in a cupboard.

Brilliant

Superb!Here is another top tip from Viz."Prevent bird flu.Put Lem-Sip in your bird bath.For owls use Night Nurse."

saw this in the the news last night, biblical financial tips!:
http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/story?id=4182087&page=1

among them:
"Debt is bad. Save aggressively even if it means giving up luxuries to pay off home loans.
Giving is good. You should give 10 percent of what you make to the church." (& that's 10% PRE-tax, btw)

('What Would Jesus Buy?' )

('What Would Jesus Buy?' )
Bread and fish?

LANDROVER ROGER wrote:('What Would Jesus Buy?' )
Bread and fish?

ok, well there is that...

My favourite Viz tips:

Save money on expensive personalised car number plates by simply changing your name to match your existing plate. - Mr. KVL 741Y, England

Girls. Too old to go on an 18 to 30 holiday? Simply get pissed, lie in a pit in your garden and sh*g every bloke who looks at you over the fence.

Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

DON'T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements.

SINGLE men, convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside Dorothy Perkins with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and occasionally glancing inside.

DON'T put washing-up liquid in the garage or loft. Keep it handy in the kitchen. I put mine in the cupboard under the sink.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

Govangirl wrote:Save a fortune on laundry bills. Give your dirty shirts to Oxfam. They will wash and iron them and you can buy them back for fifty pence.

HOUSEWIVES. I find the best way to get two bottles of washing-up liquid for the price of one is by putting one in your shopping trolley and the other in your coat pocket.

Love those
donating then buying back your clothes...WAYYYY cheaper than washing or dry cleaning them PLUS you can claim the donation as a deduction on your tax returns...win, win

now this one I especially like:
SCROOGES: Save money at Christmas by returning last year's cards to the sender with the simple inscription "Same to you".


why didn't I think of that already.......oh well, there's this year...

GG - I think my all-time favourite Top Tip in Viz was:

BUSDRIVERS - Make your day much more interesting by pretending to be an airline pilot. Simply place your sandwich box on the accelerator pedal, secure the steering wheel by tying it to your chair with your belt, and then casually stroll back down the aisle chatting to your passengers.

Quality

Splendid!Keep them coming!

"Do not buy expensive binoculars,move closer to whatever it is you are looking at."

LANDROVER ROGER wrote:"Do not buy expensive binoculars,move closer to whatever it is you are looking at."

Hilarious, Roger my son & hubby both got a giggle out of it, too

Give your cat a treat. Put a bird-bath in your garden.

Thinking of buying a camera?...Buy two.When you sell one on e-bay you can photograph it with the other.

If you suddenly discover you're travelling the wrong way, simply change your destination. You'll be pleasantly surprised at the fuel savings.