A Ginger joke

[Govangirl]

A bottle of irn bru asks his pal, a bottle of limeade, if he fancies going to Ibrox for the game on Saturday.

"Oh nae way man," says the bottle of limeade, "I'm green, I'll get ma top kicked in!"

"Naw, naw, it's no like that at Ibrox anymore," replies the bottle of irn bru, "Ibrox is aw aboot respect and corporate boxes. You'll no get nae bother at Ibrox - guaranteed."

"Ok, if you say so, I trust you" replies the bottle of limeade.

So the two pals are walking along Copeland Road heading for Ibrox at 2.45pm when suddenly, straight out a close, 3 bottles of milk come charging out, knock the bottle of limeade to the ground and repeatedly beat him before rolling off.

"Ooooh, you said it was safe," moaned the bottle of limeade.

"I'm sorry pal, I really am! I didny think the Derry boys would be here!"

[Govangirl]

The same bottle of irn bru decides to take his other pals, Jelly Baby and Smartie to a new bar.

But Jelly Baby says, "No thanks mate, I'm a soft centre, I always end up getting my head kicked in."

So Smartie says "Don't worry about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look after you."

Jelly Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as long as you two look after me," and off they go.
After a few beers in the club, three Lockets walk in. As soon as he sees them, Smartie and the bottle of irn bru hide under the table. The Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start kicking him, breaking bottles over his little jelly
head, lamping him with little sugary chairs, and generally having a laugh. After a while they get bored and walk out.

Jelly Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the table and wipes up his Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and the irn bru moaning, "I thought you two were going to look after me..."

"I was!" says Smartie, "but those Lockets are bluddy menthol".