The Kintyre Forum

This is a hoot, but I suspect the minister didn't appreciate it.

A minister was completing a temperance sermon.
With great emphasis he said,'If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it
and pour it into the river..'

With even greater emphasis he said, 'And if I had
All the wine in the world, I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he
Said, 'And if I had all the whiskey in the world,
I'd take it and pour it into the river.'

Sermon complete, he sat down.

The song leader stood very cautiously and announced
With a smile, nearly laughing, 'For our closing song,
Let us sing Hymn #365, 'Shall We Gather at the River.'

Smile, life is too short not to !

If this brightened your day
Don't let it stop here
Pass it on with a smile
Keep spreading the Cheer.

See you at the river

At a temperance meeting the speaker dropped a worm into a glass of water for a couple of minutes, took it out and it was still alive and wriggling. He then dropped it into a glass of whisky, when he took it out it was stone dead. He asked the gathered assembly what this proved.

One of them shouted "Drink plenty o' whisky an' ye'll never have worms".

Aye - as Lord Charles wid hae said -- Semper inebriate !