New SKY programme List

[Govangirl]

In response to the troubles at STV, Sky are rumoured to be close to launching their own dedicated Scottish Channel later this month, and have previewed what they are intending to broadcast.

Here's a selection of the listed programmes:

Sky Wan

9am News and whair it's pishin doon

9.30am How clairty is yer hoose?

This week the ladies pay a visit to a man whose wife shot the craw only three days ago to find the entire hoose under five inches of stoor and the cludgy honkin o' pish

10am The Mags Hainey Show

Early mornin chat show hosted by big Mags Hainey in which neds and sengas settle their petty differences by screaming obscenities and attacking each other with furniture for the amusement of the viewing public. This morning's episode is entitled "Whair's ma effin hoosekeepin money disappeared tae?"

12.30pm News and whair it's pishin doon

1pm Neeburs

Soap opera set in the village of Carradale. This week Sarid accuses Witchnettle of being in league with Lucifer and has her burned at the stake

2pm Film

Angels wi Manky Coupons

4pm Tam the Tank Engine

Tam goes aff the rails and the Fat Controller is chuffed tae bits

4.15pm Boab the Builder

Reality show where Boab is investigated by the Inland Revenue

6pm News and whair it's pishin doon

7pm Doaktir Whae

In this week's episode the Scottish time traveller takes the TARDIS back tae 1966 and breks Geoff Hurst's legs wae a sonic Glesca screwdriver

7.30pm Torn Faced Cockney Plonkers

Eastenders wi' subtitles. In tonight's episode, Pauline gets her jotters fae the steamie while the rest o' the cast stoat aboot wi' faces the length o' Leith Walk

9pm Fitba Player's Burds

Drama surrounding the players of fourth division Auchtermuchty Rovers and their off-pitch antics. This week Boaby is worried that the club is facing relegation while Moira is gettin baw deep from the Aberfeldy Academicals goalie

10pm News and whair it's pishin doon

12.30am Merrit Wi Weans

Re-make of the popular American sit-com 'Married With Children.' In this week's episode, Ian sits in front o' the telly scratchin his baws while Ags is still chokin on her Nat King Cole

1.30am The Beechgrove Back-Green

The boys plans tae dae up a gairdin in Niddrie are scuppered when local neds eff off wi the wheelbarra

2.15am Close Doon

[chrisduffy]

Really did laugh out loud!

[LANDROVER ROGER]

Brilliant GG!Particularly liked the Eastenders.