Jokes

[ionnsaigh]

Aye - no bad a taw bobbie . Am reminded a an auld Scots poem aboot Patrick. Apparently Patrick had his shield engraved with the following words - not verbatim from memory - so forgive me in advance.
On this day
I am taller than the mountains
deeper than the oceans
stronger than the wind
hotter than the sun
Stuff like that . Me well I like to think that he was a hard man

[ionnsaigh]

A will be in the town Saturday - high noon on the hill - my back facing the sun - any takers - no prisoners taken

[bill]

If I'm a man I must be brave
And I must face that deadly killer
Or lie a coward, a craven coward,
Or lie a coward in my grave.

[ionnsaigh]

[bill]

Lucky for you I am not in town,for I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die

[general jack o'niell]

if you hear that whistle blowing it'll be tinnitus!!!!

[bill]

Any truth in reports of a big fight in White Hart last night?

From what I heard it seems to have been caused by a Glasgow Ned, waving a red flag and singing some weird sounding self penned Nationalist song.

[Govangirl]

Watch out the next time you're in B & Q. I went in there yesterday and this old bloke in a yellow apron came right up to me and asked if I wanted decking. Well, I managed to get the first kick in, Smeaton-style, followed by a few punches. So look out!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

[EMDEE]

Watch out the next time you're in B & Q. I went in there yesterday and this old bloke in a yellow apron came right up to me and asked if I wanted decking. Well, I managed to get the first kick in, Smeaton-style, followed by a few punches. So look out!

That was like the ice-cream man in Northern Ireland asking Anneka Rice if she would like a "poke".

(Reference the Kintyre Vernacular thread)