A Memory of Gorbals

[ionnsaigh]

Aye yer right enough bill, sometimes a don't know my arse - fae ma elbow.

I do'nt know what your excuse is Ionns,but in my case it's old age

Well it's sex drink drugs and rock n roll wae me.

[Govangirl]

Ionns, of course men and women are not equal. The differences are in the following:

NICKNAMES
If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah .
If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

MONEY
A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs.
A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but hey, it's on sale.

BATHROOMS
A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from Target.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337.
A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man (as the wise Bobbie has already pointed out)

MARRIAGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the bins, answer the phone, read a book, and get the post.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

OFFSPRING
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.
She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.
There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!!!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

SUCCESS
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man (as the wise Bobbie has already pointed out)

No, never Govan. A successful woman has her own money to spend and has a man who will rub her feet.

[ionnsaigh]

Bobbie en girl - sorry I mean Govan Tejas
Quite a pair - when you two click sisters get going - penis envy - can and does strike, in all sorts of weird and wonderful ways. You two being of the former persuasion.
Oh how we superior men laugh - at your feeble attempts to gain some credibility - through appealing to one another - chiefly on the grounds of sexual gender.
Famous Men
ionnsaigh
God
Santa
American presidents
Hitler
Satan
Jack Frost
Jack the Ripper
Saddam
Stalin
Mao
Moses
Popeye
Superman
Gordon Brown
Oor Wullie
Margaret Thatcher
EMDEE
hugh ?
Karl Marx
Marx Brothers
Alexander Brothers
You know I could go on and on .
Famous Women
Virgin Mary
Joan of Arch.

[Govangirl]

Whit! Are you having a laugh? Look at how Ionnsaigh is in there with Satan and Hitler and Saddam, love it! You were obviously at a loss to find some real men in there (of course, apart from forum members). Bobbie and I could make up a list of world-changing women that would blow your sporran right off.

Well it's sex drink drugs and rock n roll wae me.

Obviously no getting enough is the problem!!!!!