1 word, 5 words, poems

[Pete Reek]

Yur naw beein very nice tae GJ, ur yi?

How wud you feel uf yi wir takin yur life intae yur hans uvry time yi fed a rabbit?

Nae wunner he gets a wee bit crabbit wae his rabbit uf hees feelin wabbit when hees tryin tae nabbit. It wud lee embdy a wee bit touchy.

[ionnsaigh]

A rabbit with behavioural problems is one thing - if it circles mounts and bites - then it clearly falls into ( a sexual health type problem ) try changing your aftershave gen . Or it could be that look in your eyes - as you bend over to stroke bunny ( wear shades ).
Then again bunny requires bunny company - alas a service that even the gen - with his many talents can't provide.

One solution - the two that come in - hi Dad - can I get on . Get them to feed the rabbit - getting soft in yer auld age is wan thing. Let me stab a guess about bunny - Birthday present - Christmas ?.
Oh aye it's theirs - and their poor auld da - is left to feed and clean the hutch - you two should be ashamed of yourself. If their is any comfort to be had then they are typical tyrannical tots. Nae offence meant there gen - they sound like my Two - who turned out to be two outstanding human beings.

Anyway Pete my goldfish gave me the evil eye this morning - anyone any suggestions.

[Bitter End]

Ionn gie the fush a richt ster wi both eyes , nae blinkin fur one an a hauf minits then hauddin yer left eye steady stert rollin the ither . slaw, slaw tae stert then gittin quiker an quiker till its burlin lik peerie,the fush shuld be entranced an in yer pooer fur ever mair! If this disnae wurk ,the fush is a left finned an ye shuld reverse the eyes.Niver bin known tae fail whin takin a fush at the mooth o the burn

[ionnsaigh]

Bitter End,
Hello my name is Sammy - that auld ejit ionns - tried the eye trick wae me. dinnae work.
awe the best . - Sammy the fish.

[bill]

Pete and Insane,I see you have mentioned me in a few of your posts,so I take it you must have missed me

Pete, I was hoping you might have recognised me in the town over the last few days,and come up and said hello.I was easily recognizable,6ft.1./handsome and normally dressed in black

I hope there is not going to be any jealousy frae you two about my meeting wi'the general,and if I get promoted to captain of a starship any day soon I do'nt want any snide comments about favouritism.

As to the problem with the rabbit?Easy.....rabbit stew is always a nourishing meal.

[Pete Reek]

Bill
Ah wuz lookin for yi, but jeest coona spot yi.
Ah know yir relations, but ahm naw a hunner percent certain o you.
Ennywi, you and Mr.Military had a meetin when yi wur here it seems. He wuz tellin me that he wuz ganti make you chief recrootin officer for sum project heez got in mind. Ah suppose yull naw wanti gee us enny wee snippets aboot it.
Ahve gotti seh, I donno many that wud trevvel ah the distance you did jeest tae west time slevverin wae the General, so the crack mustahv been hoorafa good.
Wuzzi shoutin a loat, or did he akshally seem lake other folk? Had he the rudd shoes on ah the time?
They tell me hiz rabbits affa sore on him, an tries tae bite um uff he annoys it. Ah suppose its teethull be clankin the gyuther ah bluddy day in that case.
Well Bill it wuz nice naw seein yi, an ahll maybe naw see yi the next time yur up here eether.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

As to the problem with the rabbit?Easy.....rabbit stew is always a nourishing meal.

[ionnsaigh]

STEWED RABBIT OR SQUIRREL

2 or 3 mature rabbits or squirrels (dressed)
6 med. carrots (cut into chunks)
1 lg. onion (thick sliced)
1 tbsp. salt
2 tsp. coarse ground black pepper
1 bay leaf
1 tsp. thyme
2 qts. boiling water
4 tbsp. butter
4 tbsp. flour
2 c. stock

Cut rabbits or squirrels into serving pieces and place in stew pot or Dutch oven. Add carrots, onion, bay leaf, thyme, salt and pepper. Cover with boiling water. Bring back to a boil, reduce heat. Cover and simmer until meat is tender. Remove meat, set aside. Drain off 2 cups of the stock.

In a skillet or saucepan melt butter over low heat. Remove from burner. Stir flour into butter until thoroughly combined and the consistency of paste. Stir in the 2 cups of stock until smooth. Return to medium high heat and cook stirring constantly to boiling. Continue cooking until thickened (about 1 minute). Pour over meat.

[general jack o'niell]

you seem helluva fixated with my daughter's rabbit, wits wrang? canna think of anythin clever to say? naw, dinna think so, she's 12 tomorrow and one word from me and she'd be roon tae gie ye such a skelp yir heid wid ring for a week, she's 5ft 10 already, another hauf inch and she'll be taller than me, and wi that female temper of hers she's not to be messed with, she'll make her auld faither proud and turn some poor man into a shrew when shes older.

as for the red shoes? jokes a joke but unfortunately after much trying on, i've discovered they are the only pair of footwear i own which are capable of taking the bloody leg brace i have to wear when i'm out and about, i discarded it this morning for a wee tour roon the pier, where i had a chat with two nice carradale gentlemen, the only two, i should say, maybe two of the, anyway, i got as far as the bottom of the cutting before i nearly tripped mysel ower on my arse, which usually happens when i don't wear it. not very glamourous i know, but there ye go, you canna have everything.

as for bill eating my chocolate biscuits? i hadna got any to offer him, i'm not allowed by order of the females in my hoose, some stupid nonsense about blood glucose (little do they know, i'm flyer than they are).

jest let me know if you ever want a 12yr old girl to grab you in a headlock, start giving yir heid chinese burns and asking you if you give up, i'll send her round

[ionnsaigh]

Ave goat wan awe those things that gie ye a doin - an he no Two yit.