Rectum Stretcher
Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2006 2:58 amWhile I was driving down the M9 the other day, (going a little faster than
I should have been) I passed a lay-by only to see a copper with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper came after me and pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronising smirk, and asked "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm
late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what?"
"A rectum stretcher??" I said.
"And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" he said.
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch
the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
with a six-foot ar*ehole?"
To which I politely replied,"You give him a radar gun and tell him to hide in the bushes!"
Speeding ticket: £60.00
Court costs: £100.00
Look on copper's face ... Priceless....
I should have been) I passed a lay-by only to see a copper with a radar gun laying in wait.
The copper came after me and pulled me over, walked up to the car, and with that classic
patronising smirk, and asked "Runway too short?" To which I replied, "I'm
late for work."
To which he asked, "What do you do?" "I'm a rectum stretcher," I responded.
The copper was surprised and confused. "A what?"
"A rectum stretcher??" I said.
"And just what does a rectum stretcher do?" he said.
"Well," I said, "I start by inserting one finger, then I work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in, I work side
to side until I can get both hands in, and then slowly but surely stretch
the hole, until it's about 6 feet."
Then the copper asked questioningly and cautiously, "And just what do you do
with a six-foot ar*ehole?"
To which I politely replied,"You give him a radar gun and tell him to hide in the bushes!"
Speeding ticket: £60.00
Court costs: £100.00
Look on copper's face ... Priceless....
