The Kintyre Forum

I've just driven home and spotted THREE houses with their decorations and tree up FGS!!!!!!!!!!! Who are these people?

I've had a stressful day. I'm NOT a Bah Humbug type of person and I love Christmas but is this not ridiculous? Or is it harmless stuff?

Just switched on my illuminated,animated,copulating reindeer decoration.
Seriously though,near where I live,the decorations outside the house do not come down.They are up all year and switched on when the clocks go back.I hate Christmas ever since my Father gave me an empty box and said it was an Action Man Deserter.

Govan,

Let them go down "all lights blazing" so to speak ...
The price of utilities like electricity these days, they'll be bankrupt before Dec 25th !

Or was it Ionns house ?

Since regulations of sub regulations re: health & safety, or Chapter 4325b of the PC Bible ... "offending non-christian minorities" now seem to be the norm .... maybe it's an act of defiance ???

CHRISTMAS CHEER (OR BAH HUMBUG)

A review of the festival and spirit of Christmas

1
When nights get long and days get short and life is filled with drear,
The annual Christmas binge comes round to fill us with good cheer,
It doesn’t seem so very long since last time we were here,
But you can bet we’ll all be forced to get ourselves in gear.
2
The summer’s past and Halloween is looming up ahead,
The rituals, spooks and witches will be like the risen dead,
But in the supermarkets in amongst the loaves and bread,
The spectre stark of Christmas now begins to raise its head.
3
In earnest then it starts as soon as Halloween is gone,
With Bonfire Night the next week just to keep us going on,
The next two months it’s Christmas being pushed at us from dawn,
The cynic would describe it as one big commercial con.
4
We tell the youngsters gifts are brought by Santa, how bizarre,
He comes down from the North Pole or some other place afar
With flying reindeer and a sleigh, it’s not for him a car!
And he climbs down the chimney, leaves the presents, what a star!
5
We buy our friends a load of junk they wouldn’t buy themselves,
And tell the kids that toys are made by Santa’s little elves,
If it were up to me the lot would stay upon the shelves,
And then we could get on with what we want to do ourselves.
6
Computer games and consoles every year are all the rage,
We managed fine without these things when I was at that age,
There's new ones coming out each year with which they can engage,
To empty out our wallets they’re developed stage by stage.
7
“I can’t afford it!” some will say, but that’s no damned excuse,
The object of the shops is your bank balance to reduce,
If you don’t go along with it you’re branded a sourpuss,
And you’re reviled and demonised with no chance of a truce.
8
The shopping centres are a scene of nature in the raw,
A scene of milling crowds and queues as long’s you ever saw,
These places are like ants' nests they are such a major draw,
Such numbers in one building surely is against the law?
9
Another side of Christmas is the use of alcohol,
Some drink it to excess until upon the floor they fall,
If they controlled it that would help to keep them on the ball,
They’d never think it might be better to have none at all.
10
On Christmas Day we all sit down to more than we can eat,
When we are bursting at the seams it isn’t such a treat,
Then halfway through we find out that we must admit defeat,
Forego the pudding and the pies; at least we ate the meat!
11
We’ve all seen third world famines on our TV screens of course,
And there we are at Christmas with enough to choke a horse,
Our conscience doesn’t bother us or fill us with remorse,
Our lack of action means that we their hopeless plight endorse.
12
Consumerism is the word that would describe it best,
It represents the worst side of our lifestyle in the West,
The greed, the selfish attitude, the avariciousness,
Grab what you can, it’s there to get, and bugger all the rest!
13
Why does the Christian Church assume that we’re a Christian lot?
The festival of Christmas rates their precepts not one jot,
Although some folks on Christmas Day off to the church will trot,
A feast in the midwinter’s been around since the year dot.
14
So every year we give ourselves at least two months of Hell,
And think that we are celebrating something called Noel,
If we desisted from our greed and spending sprees as well,
It might prevent the business world from doing the hard sell.

EMDEE, I'm Did you write this yourself?

Here's a Pam Ayres one:

Goodwill To Men - Give Us Your Money


It was Christmas Eve on a Friday
The shops was full of cheer,
With tinsel in the windows,
And presents twice as dear.
A thousand Father Christmases,
Sat in their little huts,
And folk was buying crackers
And folk was buying nuts.

All up and down the country,
Before the light was snuffed,
Turkeys they get murdered,
And cockerels they got stuffed,
Christmas cakes got marzipanned,
And puddin's they got steamed
Mothers they got desperate
And tired kiddies screamed.

Hundredweight's of Christmas cards,
Went flying through the post,
With first class postage stamps on those,
You had to flatter most.
Within a million kitchens,
Mince pies was being made,
On everyone's radio,
"White Christmas", it was played.

Out in the frozen countryside
Men crept round on their own,
Hacking off the holly,
What other folks had grown,
Mistletoe on willow trees,
Was by a man wrenched clear,
So he could kiss his neighbour's wife,
He'd fancied all the year.

And out upon the hillside,
Where the Christmas trees had stood,
All was completely barren,
But for little stumps of wood,
The little trees that flourished
All the year were there no more,
But in a million houses,
Dropped their needles on the floor.

And out of every cranny, cupboard,
Hiding place and nook,
Little bikes and kiddies' trikes,
Were secretively took,
Yards of wrapping paper,
Was rustled round about,
And bikes were wheeled to bedrooms,
With the pedals sticking out.

Rolled up in Christmas paper
The Action Men were tensed,
All ready for the morning,
When their fighting life commenced,
With tommy guns and daggers,
All clustered round about,
"Peace on Earth - Goodwill to Men"
The figures seemed to shout.

The church was standing empty,
The pub was standing packed,
There came a yell, "Noel, Noel!"
And glasses they got cracked.
From up above the fireplace,
Christmas cards began to fall,
And trodden on the floor, said:
"Merry Christmas, to you all."

Govangirl wrote:I've just driven home and spotted THREE houses with their decorations and tree up FGS!!!!!!!!!!! Who are these people?

Hmmm!! Harmless springs to mind, Who cares, "they're no doin anybody any harm", 'maybe they have pushy kids', maybe not.

Why get stressed?

Govangirl wrote:EMDEE, I'm Did you write this yourself?

If anyone else had written it I would have given them the blame for it!

It must be OK if you think somebody else might have written it!

The wans up the ster usually put up the decorations, around this time. It really bugs me - like girl, I love Christmas. We usually wait until the last week. It goes to show two things - the power of advertising on the vulnerable.
After my initial shock horror response - at seeing those first signs of big spendmas - I generally console myself in - the lights - cheer up a dark - rather dismal period in the year.
EMDEE, I'm wasting my time - writing so called poetry - over in poets corner. As I'm sure everyone on here recognizes you - as a highly talented - caring type of man - even if you are a slightly old fashioned,,,,,,. stubborn bugger - at times.

EMDEE wrote:It must be OK if you think somebody else might have written it!

Very impressive! You could be the male equivalent of Pam Ayres!!!!

Dram Airs ???

£3.73 wrote:Dram Airs ???

Hilarious, well done!

And yes, I guess there's no harm in it Coxy, each to their own. I just think Christmas should be celebrated at Christmas. As for the electricity bills, one house I saw tonight must be draining the grid! It must cost a fortune!
I love to see houses with lots of lights on them but I hate tacky things - like copulating reindeers for example! Gaun yersel' Roger!

I chuckled when I read this topic last night - then I drove into the village tonight and theres a christmas tree in the big window of one of the "posh" houses!!
I used to give my poor parents grief when I was wee!! Christmas was their busiest time of year in the butchers but all that worried me was that I was the last person in the class ever to get my tree up!! Quite often on the 23rd December!
I now take huge pleasure in doing the tree round about the 15th and really couldn't imagine having it up any earlier!! Love the poem Emdee!!!!!!!

Govangirl...I completely agree, & when you think it can't get worse, it does!!!
EMDEE....very well done & to the point!! I especially like the last verse, it pretty much sums it up. Would it be ok with you if I copied it & sent it to some friends?? A few of us were just talking the other day about this subject (which we moan about every year at this time!), how we are unabashedly bombarded with the Commercial Machine's version of what the holidays should be about, & our bankrupt economy is only making them hit us harder this year(?!). Sadly, I'm a 'bah humbug' at Christmas, 1.because I used to work in the shipping industry (FedEx) & it pretty much ruined me for any holiday fun, even today 2. because I'm a hater of commercialism & over-consumerism, & Christmastime (in the west) has become the epitome of that (IMO) shameful mindset &3. because all of this rampant, unwarranted hoopla goes on for about 1/4 - 1/3 of our year...EVERY year. I don't think it can get any worse than it is today. Oh crap now I've gone & said it...

I will say that having a child helps me lighten up, tho. I would never want my jaded attitude to rub off on him. I do remember when I used to look forward to it all, too!! I just try to keep him grounded on what the holidays are really about & that is family time & the spirit of giving...not shopping & receiving.

All that said......HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO EVERYONE!!!!

I'm not anti-Christmas like you Lass4Lossit, but you did make me laugh! I think your wee one will definitely change you. I know it's a cliche but that's what it's all about, children. I really, REALLY miss writing the letters to Santa and putting them up the chimney, watching the kids run to the window and 'actually' seeing them float away in the sky, I miss biting into the carrot and drinking the sherry (definitely!) then leaving my hubby's boot stamped in flour all round the fireplace. I miss the excited voices in the morning waking us up to show us what Santa had left. I treasure these memories so much.

Right, I've started to greet now so to balance things I'm going to continue in the vein of ranting. In the shops yesterday, they had started to play festive music and I don't know how those poor assistants can put up with it every day! I know it will get worse Lass4Lossit when I hear that Greg Lake song again or even that Wham one. But worse is Mariah Carey . . . Aaaaaargh!

And PS L4L, just noticed you're in America - I absolutely LOVE Christmas there - they know how to do it there!
AND is that cute wee button in your avator your wee one? Utterly gorgeous picture!!!!!!!!!!!!