Carradale

[Ticketty Boo!]

Aye, tis a sad, sad day frae Terbert, roon the Mull and back again. Yon BBC are reporting the passing of Sunny Jim, aged 77 yesterday. Man the nichts we hud oan board the Fital Spark - the smertest boat in the trade - wi young Jum bangin tunes oot o' his squeezeboax accompanied by Doogie oan the trump. T'wis oanly that tuppenny stoker McPhail that wid not chine in the festivities.

Sunny Jim aalways said their was merr high jinks at a Carradle funeral than a Terbert waddin.

RIP

[morenish]

hail bochan returned to us from the far north!
nearly off the bbc map he was,
was the meeges bad up there?

is it true that instead of giving us broadband in the dale they are going to shut down all our comunications in the interest of peace?
only the loud will be heard
but whats the use of shouting in an empty harbour!?
methinks the village will be seen to be sleeping then., an nobody left for even a funeral.

[Hurricane Jeck]

Aye, it's Jeck again.

Managed tae gie thon nurses the slip for a meenit.

Ah, Poor Jim. Wassn't it me that was sorry to hear of his passing.
In hiss day he wus namely for many, many things, but probably he will be best remembered for being the first person no' tae have soomed frae Skipness tae Campbeltoon. The toonies were that mean when he got ashore that they neffer threw as much as a brass soo in hiss tin cup. If Dougie were here he wid tell ye himsel'.

Dammit, Ah've jeest realised that if Jim was seffenty seffen then that makes me aboot 116 (not coonting the leap years)

Ah'll need tae go and lie doon now until Ah get ma breath back..... Nurse!....

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Jeck, them poor nurses have a wile job wi you and your damn nonsense. A man of your years should know better than to run awey from nurses. If ye hid any sense at all, you'd be running towards them. Jeest think of your caliper, never mind your catheter.

Besides, after losing Jim like that, and Para Handy and MacPhail long gone, but not forgotten, you should be looking efter yersel. You're maybe 'Passing Paddy's Milestone,' but yer no 'Headin for Dunoon' jeest yet.'

I mind Hun upset Para Handy one day, singing wan o Alex MacKenzie's classics, with a wee twist at the end.

'I'm naw wan tae blaw and I'm naw wan tae craw, I don't want to injure yer feelings, but take it frae me, ye'll never ever see, a boat half sae braw as the Meenans'!'

Mortally offended he was. 'Not a smerter vessel in the tred indeed!

Now away you back to your ward before your get a blow back and somewan slips on the floor! The nurses will hae a wee cup of tea ready by now and a clean pair of sheets to replace the wans that you were trying to hide. Aye in 5 minutes ye'll be jeest Tickety Boo!

[Sanyanya]

Hurricane Jeck must be a good age right enough. I'm sure that he was older than the moose, and he lived well into his nineties and died about 20 years ago.

Strong tea and maloogrum were his secret elixirs. Still riding his bike into his nineties, and probably still wearing the soft hat & bicycle clips now....

My father once told me that he met Para Handy and the boys down at Portrigh. He was down doing his public service thing, tidying up a few 'Black Nuggets' left on the beach. The 'Fital Sperk' was just starting to float by the heid, and Sonny Jim had been dispatched in the punt to throw off the head rope and Dougie & Jeck were up at the bow roaring instructions.

Anyway, Jake took the turns of rope of the cleat just as Jim was about to pass under the mooring. MacPhail had been oiling around the steam winch forard earlier that day (Not Like him to do anything volantarily) and had inadvertantly splashed oil all over the heid rope that was coiled on top of the anchor chain at the stem. Well, the rope slipped through Jakes' hands, like a conger through a pair of size eight and a half gloves. Jim had a good bit of way on, as the rope dropped like a snare behind him. The boats momentum kept her chapping for the beach, but poor Jim stayed with the rope.

Apparently it was colossal. Jim was hinging from the rope by the hands and turned down boots. Dougie and Jeck were trying their damnedest to keep a strain on the rope, but with the 'Spark' now floating, their efforts were in vain. The harder they pulled, the more the puffer came aheid, and Jim's erse was dooked into the icy cold water. 'Captain MacFarlane' would give her an odd jab astern, which would momentarily lift him out of the briny. However, fear of her stern kicking out to Port and nearer the jagged rocks, meant that he couldn't keep the strain. Well that's what Para Handy told Jim, in that sort of concerned and caring tone, if you get my drift.

My faither got his hands on the punt, but the oars were away in another direction. Anyway, he hauled the punt out along the rope and rescued the exhausted Sonny Jim, who by this time was trembling with the cold.

Jim presented the old fella with his favourite bobbly hat, a pail of salt herrin and a couple of bottles of Dunsade from MacPhail's bunk. My faither knew there was a fine selection of poached game hinging in the forepeak, but the furtive MacFarlane also knew that my faither daren't mention it. If he had, it would have opened another can of worms, ie how did he know about that. (Well hungry mooths to feed and all that) However, needless to say our tent was always like toast if the Vital Spark was landing coal in the village.

Talking of boats on the beach, its changed days indeed. When you think of the ringers all taking their turn on the beach at the quay during the summer. Its funny how some things remain with you. The smell of Galbraith & Cochranes gloss paints mixed with International vernish, Nitro-Mors, boiled linseed oil, hot fenders and baked scouders on the hot sand.

They were smerter looking going into clean than most of the boats nowadays are when they come off the slip. Even the legs had the waterline carefully painted onto them. A bit like the baker's shop really, well once the red edging is feenished. We used to offer to go aboard and tidy up all the old lemonade bottles, but it didn't matter how early we got there, someone much cuter, had beaten us to it!

Aye, everyone of them had their day as 'Lily of the fleet.' The old boats remind me of Jeck in many ways. With a bit of TLC their engines would have gone for ever, but a lifetime of hard graft left the external woodwork and mechanical couplings a bit worse for wear.

Anyway, I don't know why I bothered getting up so early. Its gone back to that awful smoorachy rain, and I forgot to lift a packet of bacon when I was over at the bakers earlier. Abernethy biscuits for breakfast, have your ever heard the likes. If my mother was still wae us, we would at least have had dumpling or soup. Aye the dumplings were another story. She would bile them in an old pair of kneeckers. My faither would say that it gave them a bit of body. We never knew whose kneeckers she used, because she never bothered with any of that nonsense! Was anyone losing any wae the big long legs around 30 years ago? She preferred these, as it allowed her to bile 2 at once!

Was there a power cut last night? I could have sworn that the street lamps dipped last night, or was it just that bothersome Bochan. I expect it was him that launched the water at the twins and caused a short circuit! Campbeltown No More, Southend No More, Carradale no More, No more Kintyre!

[GarySutherland]

Yes, the power went out sometime last night. Probably something to do with the thunderstorm. Don't know how long it was out as I was asleep but the PCs were all off this morning when I crawled out of my pit.

Cheers
Gary

[morenish]

mo'chreachd it's thick out there this morning right enough, i couldny even find ma big red tractor!
so i came in a searched for sombody to put the kettle on for me, hell knows where the stock is they're either lost in this mist or the mists of time my memory not being too good with the lack of tea
where the hells that wummin wi the kettle.............!?

[GarySutherland]

Heheh, mine's downstairs cooking me a nice big breakfast.

Hope nothing's wandered off too far in this mist.

Cheers
Gary

[Bochan Mor]

The thunder & lightning must still be playing havoc with some of the internet connections. Bubbly Jock & bobbly juck are notably absent. What about the Scouder? His venom should be peaking anymore with his tendrils due to shrink back around mid-August, thank goodness!

The power cut may have affected the security entry sytstem at Jeck's unit, but he's maybe not been able to find a modem that hasn't been fried by the surges that were going on last night. He's needing to get wan o they 'Raspberry' things. Heavens above, they say that they even work out in the Outer Hebrides. I'm damn sure if he mastered the Decca, he'll manage the hand-held land-lubber's version!

Damn me though, our Morenish & Gary are still to the fore, pulling rank on their wifes & children on faithers day. Never mind boys, its back to reality in the morning.


Make yer own piece!

[morenish]

i'll need to go to the toon the day and get a new hinge for the ferm gate, the wifes complainin it's too heavy for her to lift withoot the proper hinges, see when i go anywhere i always take her in the car as far as the gate so's she can open it for me and close it afterwards, i go on my jurney an she walks back the 1/2 mile up to the hoose, but she's no as strong as she used to be and that broken top hinge is causing her bother, ach the things thats sent to try us
as for the stock i thougt i'd lost the buggers were all in the barn watchin the tv i put in there for them last winter, the wife only ever watched coronation st on it anyway.
an if thats a thumb print on the back of your hied bochan, your wife must have an awfie big thumb!?

[bubbly jock]

Bubbly Jock & bobbly juck are notably absent.



Bochan mor you must be using the wrong magnifying glass I'm here you silly auld fool. It's that one post idiot Jubbly bock that has disappeared.

bubbly

[Bobbly Juck]

Aye Bochan, what are you talking about?
Me and Gary have been hiding under the bridge and stealing the bread for the helicopter that some of the slower crofters are still leaving out, but don't worry I'm still keeping an eye on you all!

[bubbly jock]

Bobbly

What are you and garry doing under that bridge Are there no motels in trumpton? and I suppose all the air raid shelters will be full of locals at this time of year!

What do you do for washing your hands before you gobble the breed if there's nae water under the bridge.

I expect a denial from garry shortly denying all knowledge of you before it gets out of hand.

bubbly

[Bobbly Juck]

Bobbly

What are you and garry doing under that bridge Are there no motels in trumpton? and I suppose all the air raid shelters will be full of locals at this time of year!

What do you do for washing your hands before you gobble the breed if there's nae water under the bridge.

I expect a denial from garry shortly denying all knowledge of you before it gets out of hand.

bubbly

bubbly

We've been waiting until the Bochan gave us the all clear but it looks like he sold us a pup. No motels yet, but I hear that all that will follow after the casino is opened by Carradale's answer to Danny DeVito.

Don't know what Gary does, but I was lucky to find a bottle of Dettox on the Left Bank. I think Sanyanys probably took it in his last raid on the Baker's but then realised what it was and gave it the gu mach.

Don't worry about Gary. He's been the perfect guest, although if I were his wife I would be slightly worried that he seems to prefer singing to small bits of yellow, moulded plastic rather than going home of an evening! I must say his voice is not at all disagreeable and he is particularly good at all the Dick Van Dycke numbers from Mary Poppins....

Bobbly

[GarySutherland]

Denial! Denial! I am in Denial!

(As the arab fisherman said when he fell out of his boat)

I thought I was doing quite well at keeping up with this thread but I'm starting to flounder.

Yellow bits of plastic?

Cheers
Gary