England in the World Cup

[Govangirl]

There have been a few funnies on the forum about this but after last week, they deserve more!

All future England matches have been moved to the Adult Gay Channel. Apparently, the sight of eleven ar***oles getting hammered non-stop for 90 minutes was far too explicit for ITV.

[Bitter End]

Aye weel G. G. its yersell thet is efter havin it jist exact ! whit an awfy guid description . ( near as guid as yer wan o ther resteraunt !)

[Govangirl]

Aye weel G. G. its yersell thet is efter havin it jist exact ! )

Och, ah know ma gay adult channels BE richt enuff!!!!

And more:

Brazil have been drawn against England in the next game, and Ronaldo tells his team mates that he's going to play them on his own, single-handed.

So they all sod off down the pub, have a few drinks, play some pool, and keep up with the score on Teletext.

They see 'Ronaldo' go 1-0 up after 15 minutes and can't believe it.

Then, in the last seconds of injury time, they see England equalise.

Still more than impressed that one man held a whole team to a draw, they go back to the ground to congratulate Ronaldo, who they find sitting in the dressing room, head-in-hands, looking utterly distraught.

Roberto Carlos asks him, 'Why are you so upset?'

and Ronaldo replies 'I can't believe I let you all down like this'

Carlos says 'what do you mean? You played an entire team on your own and got a draw. That's incredible!'

and Ronaldo says to him, 'No - you don't understand. I got sent off after half an hour'

[Govangirl]

The England team went out to visit an orphanage in Cape Town on Saturday morning.
"It's good to put a smile on the faces of people with no hope, constantly struggling and facing the impossible," said Jamal Umbototo, aged 6.

[Govangirl]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! ENGLAND TO GET A NEW COACH!






It's arriving on Thursday morning to take them home.

[chrisduffy]

BREAKING NEWS!!!!! ENGLAND TO GET A NEW COACH!






It's arriving on Thursday morning to take them home.

Haud the bus!!

[bill]

– What does the Englishman do when England wins the World Cup? He switches off the Play Station.


– What’s the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek? Shrek can save the day.


– What’s the difference between a faulty jet engine and Wayne Rooney? The jet engine eventually stops whining.

[Govangirl]

Bloke walks into a brothel and says, "I'm a bit kinky. How much for total humiliation?"
The Madam replies, "£37.50."
"Wow! What do I get for that?" he asks.
She replies, "An England football shirt."



WEATHER WARNING FROM THE MET OFFICE: KEEP ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS SHUT TONIGHT AS WE ARE EXPECTING A SHOWER OF S*IT TO ARRIVE THIS EVENING FROM SOUTH AFRICA.

[Govangirl]

[EMDEE]

Scottish police spent Sunday afternoon dealing with flash floods after 5 million people simultaneously pissed themselves laughing when Germany scored the fourth goal against England.

[EMDEE]

What goes 'Beep Beep Beep Beep' ?










-- The England open top bus reversing back into the garage for another 4 years.

[Ninja Mania]

I think its time this thread was locked for good, and a RED card to Govangirl for even suggesting it in the first place.

[numberplease]

Noooooooo, please don`t lock it, I`m English, posting from England, and I`m loving `em!