Lets have FUN!

[paraffin man]

Has thon matron no tucked you up intae yer wee bed yet wi thon sides on yer bed so ye dont fae oot in the middle o the night. Or are ye runnin the gauntlet wi thon we battery thing on in yer bed............yer lapdanc...eh laptop.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Hilarious. Hold the fort you guys! If they come to take the thread, stanz your ground! Shout HELL NO WE WON'T GO!

I have to go and pretend I have a job that needs tending to, but I hope to see you all in one piece when I get back!

[take_a_pop]

Noo a did hae fun wance wae a lappie, but al naw gane intae thit the nicht.
Better wet tae the bairns ur in bed, before a tell ye.

[paraffin man]

C pop yer smoke signals workin right enough, big johnA either seen yours or mine hes on noo n a.

[take_a_pop]

Aye the huuymoon tis ower aready, he'ill be too nackered tae post tho, jeest wet an see.

[John A]

I saw your smoke signals as a passed your door on my way home PM.

What on earth is going on on this forum I was on Islay at the weekend and have missed all the goings on.

Great time on Islay mind you all together now
"westering home and a song in the air ...........

[paraffin man]

here TAP meant tae say tae ye, thon winter fuel payment ye get must be well spent by noo wi all the siggnals ye have been puttin oot lately, n as far as a can see most o them have been the wrang signals.

[Bochan Mor]

I think I'll get to my bed, as I'm too frightened to post.

Pop, you watch yersel wae Bobbie there. If Mrs T.A.P. does a forensic examination of this forum, she might put 2 +2 together and think that you are flirting with Sexy Texy........................................... Again!

Neil, you moderate this, and make sure that they don't get up to anything that the weans shouldn't read in the morning. Just incase Auld Pop and Bobbie don't get a chance to edit it at a later date. The other moderators seem to be up to their ears in allegedlies and sabre rattling.

[take_a_pop]

Matrons callin, ah bett'r go fur noo, its ma turn tae empty ah thim pee pots.
Ah micht empty wan oan auld Maggi's bed an watch hur face in thi moarnin whin she tries tae explain that tae the big potato luikin Matron.
Thit will be a whoora laff.

[Bochan Mor]

Aye Pop, I expect you'll be roaring through in the morning:

'Aye right Maggi, Pee the Bed and Blame the Mattress!'

Even better if the matron skites onto the bones of her erse and the yellow peril soaks instantly into her highly absorbent Bridget Jones knickers!

You could offer her one of yer partially used incontinence pads when she does her ward round wae Dr Snoddy. She'll give you that look as if she been sucking lemons and call you a dirty auld devil, and you'll be vindicated in saying: 'A case of the pot and the kettle ma dear, you should know by now, not to wash yer dirty linnen in public!'