The View From Here

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Warning: Not for the overly sensitive :wink:

This forum is Speakers Corner: "Abandon hope all ye who enter here! This forum is not for the faint hearted. This is the place for banter, moans, groans and rants." Well, I'm always bantering.. But I am getting ready to moan and groan, and might even touch on the rant

What the heck has happened around here? This place is like a morgue.. or worse.. a library! Hush, lest someone perceive a slight.

Bubbly get back here! Pop, get off your rocker! More Bochan Mor! We need the ferry people here!

Broadband.
Dell Inspiron 600m so I think 15.
IE

Sigh. We need salt!!

[Bobbie En Tejas]

This is what we've been resorting to! It can't last much longer

[bubbly jock]

Warning: [i] Hush, lest someone perceive a slight.

I'm afraid we're down to one liners, facts and vernacular to carry the day.

We need the ferry people here!

Are you crazy

[Pete Reek]

pr.

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Are you crazy

Is that a trick question? Of course I am!

Let me tell you a little story:

There once was a kingdom where seasonings were abundant. People were happy and cooked tasty dishes. No one liked everything, but they all found something to their liking. People were happy and there was laughter and dancing. Unfortunately, the man who called himself king, who had never tried seasonings, thought the people must be laughing at him, so he made a law... No seasonings. No salt, no pepper, no sugar or spice. Bland food only. Anyone breaking this law would have their lips tied together and they would be tube fed.

For a while people just ate bland food, they thought they could handle it.. but soon the cravings started. Salt, they would cry! Pepper! you would hear. Soon there was one man with his lips tied, then another, then another, and then it seemed everyone's lips were tied. When all seemed like it would end with everyone being tube fed, there was excitement in the land. It seemed the real king had been away, and the man who called himself king was not the real king at all! The king demanded the lips be untied and the tubes be taken away. He called for a feast with an abundance of every spice so that people could eat well again.

And what happened to the man who called himself king? Well, he was forced to try a little spice here and there as his punishment, and the funny thing was, he began to like it.. and laugh.. and dance! and he was happy and so was everyone else.

THE END

[Neil]

http://www.igorn.com/trip2001/pics/121001/121017.jpg

[Bobbie En Tejas]

cute.....reallll cute

This is more the texas I know


and


I hope that spot you showed wasn't your vacation spot

[bubbly jock]

I hope that spot you showed wasn't your vacation spot

No Bobbie

That's what they have for dinner in Widnes and they are not allowed salt or pepper. Crivens wummin that's a feast tae that black spot

bubbly

[Neil]

Aww come on bubs me old chuck,dont be bitter i love you really my old scottish cousin.

And you know we dont have vacations just days out to Blackpool.

[The Long Carabine]

Let me tell you a little story:

There once was a kingdom ..........

Ah my leetle squaw, so you like ze stories. Well then, gather close to ze fire and let me give you one. I hope you are familiar with ze language of le longue carabine. If it causes you a problem then je suis très désolé.

There once was zis fly and he was flying just 2 inches above ze water.

Now under ze water, was a fish - and what a lovely fish he was.
Ze fish was watching ze fly and thinking, "If zat fly would just drop down 2 inches he would be mine, and oh how good ze fly would taste!"

Now at ze side of ze water was a bear - and what a lovely bear he was.
Ze bear was watching ze fly and thinking, "If zat fly would just drop down 2 inches, ze fish would come up to ze surface of ze water to get ze fly and ze fish would be mine, and oh how good ze fish would taste!"

Now in ze woods was a hunter - and what a lovely hunter he was ( maybe it was me, maybe not).
Ze hunter was watching ze fly and thinking, "If zat fly would just drop down 2 inches, ze fish would come up to ze surface of ze water to get ze fly and ze bear would catch ze fish and ze bear would be mine, and oh how good a trophy he would be!"

Now behind a tree was a mouse - and what a lovely mouse he was.
Ze mouse was watching ze fly and thinking, "If zat fly would just drop down 2 inches, ze fish would come up to ze surface of ze water to get ze fly and ze bear would catch ze fish and ze hunter would shoot ze bear and ze wedge of cheese in ze hunters pocket would be mine, and oh how good ze cheese would taste!"

Now up in ze tree was a cat - and what a lovely cat she was ( maybe it was your cat Bobbie, maybe not).
Ze cat was watching ze fly and thinking, "If zat fly would just drop down 2 inches, ze fish would come up to ze surface of ze water to get ze fly and ze bear would catch ze fish and ze hunter would shoot ze bear and ze mouse would jump to ze hunters pocket to get ze wedge of cheese and ze mouse would be mine, and oh how good ze mouse would taste!"

And so it came to pass.

Ze fly dropped 2 inches.
Ze fish swam up to ze surface of ze water and caught ze fly.
Ze bear leaned over and caught ze fish in it's massive paw.
Ze hunter fired his carabine and shot ze bear.
Ze mouse jumped for ze hunter's pocket to get ze cheese.
Ze cat leapt from ze tree to catch ze mouse BUT...... SHE MISSED and fell into the water.

Now Bobbie, there you are hunkered down by ze fire and you are thinking, what a lovely story, I have enjoyed it immensely - but... what does it all mean? Well, let le longue carabine enlighten you.
Ze moral of zis story is zis:

When ze fly drops, ze pussy gets wet.

I shall return.

[Pete Reek]

pr

[Bobbie En Tejas]

AND he has a tall tail on that hat!

Wow carrabine, I thought you disappeared!

As for ze moral of ze story.. well.. I'm just ignoring that part

[The Long Carabine]

As for ze moral of ze story.. well.. I'm just ignoring that part

Well somebody didnt and edited it
Isn't this the place for stuff like that? Some other jokes I read were in a similar vein.

Maybe I should just go and edit it back............ I'm certainly brave enough to do it after all I'm no PUSSY.

I'm not sure if it's worth returning...

[Bobbie En Tejas]

Not one who likes the word much, but it does seem strange that we can see men's penises but we can't say the word pussy ... in a story referring to a cat.. even if it is double innuendo.

Personally, I'm not interested in seeing men's nether regions on the forum, but people need to filter and ignore posts or avoid threads that bother them, be in control of where they go instead of trying to be in control of what someone else says.



Case dismissed.

[Malky]

but people need to filter and ignore posts or avoid threads that bother them, be in control of where they go instead of trying to be in control of what someone else says.

Hmm, well said Bobbie. I can also see the Long Carbines point.

As admin, I have only been asked to remove 2 posts in the last month or so. One I removed and the other I moved to Speakers Corner where I thought it would be more appropriate. There are plenty of warnings about Speakers Corner so it would seem sensible that there should be less moderation in that forum and if anyone is offended by what is there then don't look at it. Most people seem to self moderate their posts now but I do feel that there is a sense of no-one wanting to say anything controversial for fear of the "Site Polis".

I'm just going to make this clear now - I don't censor posts. I moderate if necessary and I put Edited by Admin beside it. That way you know I've edited it.

Now on to the subject of penises and the photo I put on for captions. That was from the Press Association, a well recognised body of people. I don't think any newspapers used it though To me, that photo was funny and so it went into the House of Fun forum. Some may not like it but quite frankly I don't care. If you have a problem with it, avert your eyes.

Case dismissed.

Too early to dismiss the case, not all the evidence has been heard. I'm sure there will be more views on this subject. I've got to go and fix a computer for someone now, but I'll be back on later and I look forward to all your views. Remember now, we are in Speakers Corner

Malky